Everything Has Changed
by Chibi1309
Summary: Teen Titans AU: Rachel and Gar have been best friends since middle school. They've shared their lunches, their secrets and even their fears. Now they share an apartment in the city. [Major BBRae, Minor RobStar, CySar & Flinx. Lots of familiar faces as never seen before. Rated M for mature themes and language] Regularly updated. Reviews welcome!
1. Chapter 1

**Everything Has Changed**

**_Dedication:_**_This story is dedicated to my lovely Teen Titans buddy and fellow BBRae writer __**MelissaVampGrrl**__ whose birthday it was recently. Thank you for being a supportive and generally all-round lovely individual, Melissa! I highly recommend you all check out her stories, she's a truly wonderful author._

**Author's note: **Right, I'll keep this short and sweet my lovely readers. I am going to play around with this one. Please bear in mind this is an AU, therefore the characters may appear slightly different from their comic book counterparts. That being said I will absolutely try my best to give them the flavour of themselves inasmuch as I can. Rest assured, there are plenty of TT Easter Eggs for you! If you **don't** like AU fanfics, I completely understand and respect your opinion. Please go and read some of my other TT stories; they are all centred (mostly) in the real TT world. This was about me growing and developing as an author and I really wanted to give this a go. **FAIR WARNING: **There are swear words and cussing as well as mature themes throughout. No flames please, again if this is not your cup of tea, you're welcome to check out my other fics which are a different rating!

**TL;DR:** Though I'll try my best, this is an AU fanfic so there may be some vague OOCness. If you want a more realistic TT fic go and visit my other stories or look to other authors on the site.

Thank you for your support as always!

-Chibi

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. This story is **not** suitable for children or young teenagers.

* * *

**Chapter One **

The morning started out much as any other in their unusual household. Rachel was coiled on the couch in an upright foetal position, willing her eyes to stay open as the fumes from her morning tea hit her nose. She braced herself as she heard the footsteps behind her. She knew what was coming and it was _far _too early to deal with his shenanigans.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

"Gar, you're a nightmare."

"And _you_ are not a morning person."

"Neither were you until recently, as I recall."

"Yeah, well sorry to break it to you but things change, Rae-Rae."

"Don't make me punch you before noon."

The young, blond man standing behind her snorted in amusement before gently ruffling her hair and scuttling towards the kitchenette. Rachel turned around and fixed him with her darkest glare as he busied himself preparing his morning cereal. He was humming. She tilted her head, a smirk appearing on her lips.

"Hey, isn't that _'you are the sunshine of my life'_? You don't listen to Stevie Wonder," she remarked, the warm tea hitting her mouth and generating a relieved gasp as the caffeine finally hit her veins. Rachel blew her fringe out of her eyes, frowning at Gar. "What's going on?"

"What, I'm not allowed to _hum_ now? You really are grumpy this morning," replied Garfield, not bothering to turn around. He continued to purr his melody and tap his foot as the cereal hit his bowl, letting out a tune all of its own. Rachel stood up, her smirk growing into a sarcastic smile as she snuck across the room and leaned on the breakfast bar. She waited patiently until he turned around. Gar instinctively jumped in fright at her sudden close proximity.

"Jesus Christ, Rae!" he breathed, clutching his chest with his spare hand. "How do you freaking _do _that? I swear you can float across the floor or something."

"It's a skill," replied Rachel, dryly. "You're deflecting. Spill it."

"Spill what?" asked Gar, innocently. He evaded her keen stare and gazed at his cereal with a sudden and intense interest.

"Drop the act, Logan," snarled the dark-haired woman, seating herself opposite him. "You've been trying the same ploy since we were sixteen years old."

"Aw, come on!" moaned Gar, placing his hand on his forehead in frustration. He looked up at her imploringly, his green eyes shining. "You know what the problem is, Rachel? We spend far too much time together."

"A fact that can be easily remedied," jeered Rachel, playfully. She placed her tea down and reached over to poke at his arm. "What's gotten into you? You always tell me everything."

A pause.

"Well. Not _everything,_" protested Garfield, weakly. He put his spoon down clumsily into his soymilk and glared at her. "I mean, we do have _some _secrets you know."

"Like what?" asked Rachel, both amused and genuinely curious as to what his answer would be. Gar stuck his tongue out in concentration; a habit he had displayed since he was a young child.

The truth was that Rachel Roth and Garfield Logan had been best friends since middle school. They'd shared their lunches, their secrets and even their fears. Now they shared an apartment in the centre of Jump City. But this morning for the first time, Garfield was hesitating to tell his best friend of over a decade what had him so chipper.

The mystery was driving the young woman nuts, and both she and Gar knew that she was not going to let this go lightly. Her tenacity was one of the many traits that Rachel prided herself on. She looked at him hard, her blue eyes narrowing. "Tick tock, Garfield."

"Oh, all right. I can't think of anything. But there's no reason we _shouldn't _have secrets."

Suddenly a lightbulb went off in the young woman's head, and the realisation of what was likely creating her friend's hopelessly optimistic mood made her groan inwardly. The clarity that came the truth was painful. It wasn't a secret; it was a fear of judgement.

"It's Tara," sighed Rachel, her head dropping onto her arms as she closed her heavy eyes once more. "Oh, Gar. I haven't had enough caffeine for this conversation yet."

"But—"

"You always get _weird_ when you're dating her again."

"Stop reading my mind. It's creepy how you can do that," shrugged the blond, continuing to eat his breakfast. He crunched for a few beats then swallowed before speaking again. "It's no big deal, Rae. We just agreed to give it another shot. I mean, what's the harm in that? We're both adults now and...what are you doing, idiot?"

As the young man had been speaking, Rachel had raised her arms up and was miming something with her hands. At his question, she repeated the mime with a smirk on her face. It resembled knitting or weaving of some kind. "Oh, don't mind me. I'm just making an invisible safety net to catch you when you inevitably fall in too deep again and predictably get hurt by that delightfully crazy woman."

"Hilarious," growled Gar, his green eyes flashing as he picked the empty bowl up and dropped it off at the sink. "I think I preferred the grumpy Rachel over the sarcastic one."

"Be careful what you wish for," smiled Rachel, pushing herself to her feet and following him over to the sink. Gar turned to look at her sideways, as he cleared up.

"You meant that in multiple ways, didn't you?"

"Hey, he's learning," laughed Rachel, reaching up and ruffling his hair just as he had done earlier to her. He grimaced before glaring at her mischievously and rubbing some soapy bubbles onto her nose. She scowled at him, reaching for a dishcloth. "Be _very _careful what you wish for."

Gar let out a genuine laugh, grabbing the dishcloth from her and wiping his lathered hands. They fell into silence for a moment. Rachel followed his eyeline towards the fridge. There were a series of photos pinned up there from their school days. Her eyes roamed over the familiar faces, and she let a small smile pass over her lips. Folding her arms, she allowed herself a moment to inspect the images.

They had both changed a lot over the years. The first one was of their whole friendship group, most of which they didn't see anymore. But the familiar faces of her closest friends always made her smile. Kori, Richard and Victor. She reached out and touched the picture fondly. They were some of the best times in her life. And the worst too. Her childhood hadn't been savoury, to say the least. Her mother died when she was young, and her father was an abusive addict who often neglected her. Overlooked by social services, she was often left to rely on the kindness of others; a seemingly impossible task. Yet she found it in abundance within her friends. Even simple acts like sharing their lunch money, offering a safe place to sleep or a listening ear meant the world to her. They would always have a special place in her heart.

Her fingers rolled down to the next picture; one of her at a coffee shop with a redheaded woman who was almost glowing with excitement. Her green eyes practically shone out of the page and hit Rachel in the chest. Her fingers slid lower to a picture of Gar and two other boys. One was dark-skinned and handsome, wearing a football shirt and holding a ball aloft. The other was a smaller attractive boy who could have been mistaken for Rachel's brother with his piercing blue eyes and mop of dark hair. The three of them were grinning so hard it appeared their faces might break from the strain. It was pure, unadulterated, youthful joy. Rachel had taken that photo; she recalled the moment vividly.

Her fingers found the final picture – it was one of her and Gar together at school. He had wrapped his arm around her shoulders in a friendly embrace and was smiling as though his life depended on it. Rachel's own smile was much smaller back then, but a ghost of it was present in this picture; her dark hair sticking to his shirt and her cobalt eyes gazing at the camera from beneath her favourite blue hooded sweater.

"Good times," came the voice behind her. For a moment she had forgotten that Gar was standing right next to her. She turned to face him, her thoughts breaking from the past and finding their way to the present.

The years had changed them both since the last photograph was taken by Kori's eager hands. Rachel's dark hair now extended down her back and curled at the ends. She had grown taller, more mature; she had lost her skinny frame now that she was eating properly and exercising well. Puberty had helped too. Despite her pale complexion, Rachel was often the source of attention when she entered the room. Her gothic appearance was captivating to more than just a few optimistic admirers. Gar still had his boyish charm, but he had grown like mad during high school and now towered above her. He had also found puberty; it had filled out his lanky frame and set his bone structure differently. His green eyes and freckled face were still familiar to her, though. In honesty, she often she forgot how much time had passed.

Rachel blinked, suddenly realising that she had been staring blankly at him. "They were good times, Gar. I wonder how everyone is. It's been far too long since I saw them."

"I saw Vic about a month ago at that game, but it's been ages since I saw Rich and Kori. I miss them," admitted Gar, rubbing his blond hair gently. "We should do something. Meet up."

"Yes," replied Rach, nodding vehemently and meaning it. "Can we?"

"Sure," smiled Gar, wrapping his arm around her as he had done many times before. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "I should go get ready for work. See you later, apartment wife."

Rachel rolled her eyes and gave him a shove as he left the room, humming once more. Since their decision to move in together two years ago, Gar had taken to calling her his 'apartment wife'. It was always an interesting quirk to explain to her visitors when they came over to their home. Her friend from work Jenny was convinced there was more to it.

"He calls you his _wife_?" she had remarked, after her last visit to their home. "He's definitely got a thing for you."

"His _apartment_ wife. Look, don't be ridiculous, Jen. We're best friends. We've been best friends for twelve years. I'm twenty-five for fuck's sake, not some dumb kid anymore who takes statements like that literally and goes to write about it in my diary. Gar is just a jokester; he always has been. You get used to it," Rachel had replied, pragmatically. "Our relationship is strong. We've been through a lot together. He gets a free pass to talk to me like that. And I get a free pass to be moody and sarcastic with him. It's just the way it is between us."

"Hmm. I don't buy it. You _definitely_ act differently around him," shrugged Jenny, flicking her pink pigtail in thought. "I mean it's not like I haven't seen other men proposition you, Rach. You send most of them off with a flea in their ear."

"Right. Men who I've known _five_ minutes," defended the young woman, dipping her head forward. Her eyes closed, and she felt pain hit her body. "Besides, after Mal is it any wonder I don't trust anyone?"

Unsurprisingly, Jenny had shut up after that and let the subject go. Malchior, or Mal as he was better known, had been Rachel's only real boyfriend to date. Her childhood had scarred her in so many ways, but the greatest part had been her struggle to let men close to her. So, as the others experimented with their sexualities and beyond, Rachel had always appeared withdrawn and clinical around most of the world. But in particular men. All men, in truth. Somehow, Mal had been the one man she had let in and it had led to disaster. It didn't bear thinking about. Never again. Fun, free and easy was better for her. Relationships were far too complicated.

Her head flicked back to the present moment as she noticed the red light of the clock in their small kitchen and realised with horror that she was running behind. Sighing, she took another wistful look at her fridge before downing the rest of her lukewarm tea and dashing for her room.

* * *

A building loomed into sight as Rachel started to pick up her pace. She glanced at her watch. Five minutes. She broke into a light trot, grasping her bag on her shoulder tightly to stop the contents from falling out onto the street. The doors jammed as usual as she tried to push through them. A swift kick to the base unstuck it, and as she rammed her shoulder hard into the glass, it finally swung open. The reception desk's clock read 8.58am.

_'Made it,'_ the young woman thought as she rushed to sign in. _'Thank God. I wouldn't want Miss Wilson on my ass again this week.'_

"Yo, Rachey-baby," came a feminine shout from behind her, causing her to turn swiftly. Jenny was running towards her, pink pigtails bobbing in time. "Thought you weren't going to make it by nine. Again."

"Zip it, Jen," muttered Rachel, slamming the pen down onto reception and heaving her bag towards the locker room that was behind it. "Don't you have anything better to do than to hassle me?"

"_Ooh_, someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning," said Jenny defensively, leaning against the lockers on the opposite side of the room. "What's wrong, sis? Have a tiff with lover boy?"

"If you're talking about Gar, then no," grumbled Rachel, feeling the colour rising in her face as she managed to force the ancient locker closed and twist the key. Swivelling the keyring round her finger she rested her back on the locker and looked up towards the ceiling. Her eyes fluttered closed. "Just not feeling it today, Jen."

"Yeah, well that's Mondays for ya!" shrugged her companion, walking over and leaning against the adjoining locker. "Wilson's put you with the brat brigade today."

Rachel felt her stomach drop. "You're kidding me. Again? That's five times in the past two months!"

Jenny shrugged again, a sarcastic smile pulling at her lips. She wrapped her arm round Rachel's shoulders easily. "What can I say? You must be a natural with them!"

"Maybe. But facing the brat brigade on Monday morning? Really? Wilson always saves that shift for the people she doesn't like."

"I'm saying nothing, grumpy pants," smiled Jenny, poking her friend on the nose and stepping away. "I've just about had my fill of Monday Rachel for today."

"Look, Jen...I'm sorry. I just got to looking at some old photos this morning and it made me think about the past. Feels like my head is stuck there somehow and won't come back."

"Hey, your frown lines are showing," remarked Jenny, gesturing to Rachel's face. "It's never a good sign when that happens."

Rachel closed her eyes again, her mind's eye seeing the images of them all at school. So happy and carefree. Loving life. Or perhaps that was rose-tinted glasses.

The youth centre wasn't all bad. She'd been a youth worker for the past two years since she'd moved back to Jump City. There were a lot of underprivileged kids here, and Rachel felt that she was doing good work most days. But it took a little piece from her every single time. It brought back some dark memories on some days. Yet, it was fulfilling and rewarding beyond belief on others.

Making something good from something bad. That was what Gar called it. Maybe he was right. But this morning, she was struggling to believe him. She sighed and opened her eyes again. Forcing a small smile onto her face she pushed herself away from the lockers.

"Come on, Jen. We'd better scoot. The brat brigade waits for no woman."

"Well said, my raven-haired beauty," laughed Jenny, linking arms with Rachel as they hot footed it towards their respective rooms. Rachel snorted.

"Raven-haired beauty?"

"On account of your dark hair, sis."

"You've been reading gothic poetry again, haven't you?"

"Only a little," smirked Jenny, releasing the young woman from her grasp and stepping dramatically towards the door to her room before bowing. "You know you love it, Rach."

"If you say so, piglet," remarked Rachel, folding her arms. Jen looked at her blankly, her hand still poised on the doorknob. Rachel gestured with her head, her words mimicking her friend's. "On account of your pink hair, sis."

"Very funny," replied Jen poking her tongue out and waggling it. She turned to enter the room before shooting a remark back over her shoulder. Her familiar smirk was still on her face. "Oh, and Rach? Good luck. You're gonna need it. That group is a real jinx."

* * *

The youth centre had a programme on a Monday morning for young children from bad backgrounds; a playschool of sorts, so that the parents could get a break at no extra cost. It was pegged as an outreach project for an underprivileged group, and it was highly popular within the community. Every week a different worker was assigned to the group to try and manage the children. Alone. It was the most hated group of any that were run within the youth centre, and as such was known amongst the staff as the 'brat brigade'. Everyone avoided the shift where humanly possible. It had become such an issue that their manager had to assign the shifts. Rachel ground her teeth as she walked towards the room. She could hear the cacophony of noise from down the corridor and had been bracing herself for impact. As the door opened, the variety of smells and sounds hit her ears. It was sensory overload.

Ten children were tearing across the room at varying speeds; some were still in their diapers; some were in romper suits and some were older but still clutched at comfort blankets. The energy level was the only constant; high and rampant.

"Hello everyone," tried the young woman, but her voice vanished into the discord of the room.

_'That's it, I am never __**ever**__ having children,' _Rachel told herself, sternly. _'If I ever think I may want children, I will just remember this image in my head.'_

A small child ran over and grabbed onto her knee, breaking into her thoughts. He had a pacifier in his mouth and sucked at it relentlessly. His blue eyes looked up at her imploringly, a tuft of blond hair peeking out from his forehead.

"What's up?" asked Rachel, looking down at him. She had tried to soften her tone, but it must have come out sharply. The child looked a momentarily terrified as she reached down to ruffle his hair tuft. "Sorry, little man. Nothing personal. I don't like Mondays."

Behind the pacifier there was a small smile, and the young boy's grip on her leg tightened. Unsure what else to do, Rachel patted his head again and waddled over towards the front of the room where the craft materials were kept. Inspiration had struck at last.

"Alright boys and girls," she shouted loudly. "Who wants to make some mess?"

There were cheers, and the attention of the room was hers at last. Rachel let out a deep sigh, as they all helped themselves to the different materials in the boxes and began to make some 'art'. The small child had finally released her knee and tottered off with dummy in hand to find some glitter glue and paper.

"Mmm, miss?"

"Rachel," replied the young woman, turning her head towards the voice. A redheaded boy was standing by her chair, holding up a packet of crayons. He had a blanket cradled in his other arm and looked a little tearful. "You can call me Rachel. What do you need?"

"Miss Wachel. Can you help, pwease?"

"Oh, you need me to open these for you," smiled Rachel, reaching over and pulling the crayons open with ease. She offered the packet back to the young boy, in a friendly manner. "Here. My favourite colour is blue. What's yours?"

"Mine is bwue too!"

"Good taste, kid," said Rachel, giving him a thumbs up as he clutched onto the crayons tightly. "Go and get stuck in."

"Timmy," replied the young boy as he turned and tottered away. "M'names Timmy."

Rachel watched him as he wandered back to the group and settled himself with some plain paper and the crayons. He had started to draw, face fixated on the page. He stuck out his tongue in a way that wasn't all that different from Gar's own expression that morning. The young woman stifled a small laugh, as jokes about Gar's brain being akin to that of a two-year-old entered her mind. But then a pang of sadness hit her chest, and for a moment Rachel couldn't work out why.

_'I wonder what Gar's kids will be like. He always said he wanted them someday. If he settles down and has kids, I guess that means we won't live together anymore,' _came a quiet, musing voice from the back of her mind. She considered this for a few moments, as she toyed with a small tube of PVA glue. It was true, she had never really thought about the fact that her living situation with her best friend wasn't permanent but...

...now she came to think of it, Rachel realised that the idea filled her with dread. Living alone wasn't so bad, she had done it before. But what they shared at home was so comfortable, so familiar. A strange sensation shimmered in her chest, and she felt her cheeks flushing. Then as soon as it had arrived it went, leaving her feeling confused and strange.

Before she could contemplate this further, she was interrupted. The young boy with the pacifier had returned, his glitter glue masterpiece in his eager hands. He offered it towards her, looking proud of himself. Jackson Pollock would have been delighted. It was abstract expressionism at its best, except it glimmered in the morning light. Rachel gave a small smile, then raised her eyebrow towards the young man.

"Did you do this?"

The boy nodded, suddenly appearing slightly shy. Rachel looked back at the picture nodding, mustering up her most impressed look. "Wow. It's definitely something."

The toddler gave a toothy grin, his pacifier popping right out of his mouth and landing on the floor. His lip wobbled slightly, as Rachel reached down and picked up. She grabbed a wipe and cleaned it for him, before popping it back in his mouth.

"There you go, kid. Don't forget your masterpiece too," she added, handing him the piece of paper. He shook his head and pointed to her. Rachel shrugged.

"You want me to have it?"

The boy nodded. Rachel gave another smile, slightly more genuine this time. "Well thank you, that's very kind."

Suddenly, a buzzer sounded alerting the young woman to the time. It would be picking up time soon, and she needed to get the children into a more presentable state for their parents return and give them some snacks too. She placed the picture down on the desk and busied herself with wipes and packing things into boxes, as the young children munched the snacks in relative silence. It seemed the creative session had elicited the desired effect. As the doors opened and parents began to file into the room, Rachel let out a relieved breath and wiped her brow with the back of her hand. She had survived the brat brigade with no injuries, and nothing broken; not even her spirit. That had to be a record, right?

One by one the children were collected and signed out in an organised manner, until only two remained. There was the young boy with the pacifier, and the self-identified redhead Timmy. Rachel turned towards them.

"I'm sure it won't be much longer, boys," she tried, gently. "Do you want another cookie whilst you wait?"

"Yes!" squealed Timmy, grabbing one from the box eagerly. He began to speak with his mouth full. "M'love cookies."

"So I can see. I prefer waffles," said Rachel stepping back to avoid the boy's spit. She offered one to the smaller child. He shook his head, still intent on his pacifier and Rachel placed the box down slowly. The door made a sound and she turned expecting to see a parent. To her surprise, a young girl with blonde pigtails entered the room and marched towards them. Her blue eyes looked determined, but she betrayed her age by a teddy that she dragged at her side. It looked bedraggled and worn, but clearly very loved. Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Can I help you-"

"Melvin," replied the young girl, her tone beyond her years. "Yes, I'm here to pick my brothers up."

"Your...brothers?" replied the dark-haired woman, her eyes widening slightly. "Timmy and this little guy are your brothers?"

"Teether," smiled Melvin, reaching out to the tot with the pacifier who waddled over and wrapped his arms round her waist. She returned the hug and smiled at Rachel. "We call him Teether on account of the fact he chews everything in the house."

"I see," replied Rachel, folding her arms and leaning back against the desk. "Where are your parents?"

Melvin's expression changed, a frown lining her face. "They're busy, Miss. I don't mind coming to get my brothers anyhow."

"Shouldn't you be in school?" asked Rachel, surprising herself with her maternal tone. Most days she barely felt old enough to look after herself, but the youth worker training appeared to be kicking in. "It is a weekday after all."

"Um, well, sometimes my parents don't like me to go, Miss. 'Cause I usually look after Timmy and Teether," replied Melvin, her blue eyes betraying some deeper emotion. Rachel felt she could almost touch that familiar sadness with her hand it was so tangible in the room. However, as if on cue, Melvin gave another well placed smile and held her teddy up. "Bobby helps."

"I see," repeated Rachel, shaking the bears hand in a friendly manner. "Well, it seems like the two of you are doing an amazing job. But I really do think you should be in school, Melvin. It's important to learn at your age."

Melvin looked down, the sadness returning to her eyes. Rachel remembered her younger self and touched the smaller girl's shoulder gently. "Because by the time you get to my age there's no hope for learning anything. My brain is like jelly most days. Especially Mondays."

Melvin's sadness evaporated, her blonde hair bobbing as she smiled again. Tommy broke his silence, walking towards his sister with his blanket dragging behind him. "We goin' home, Melvin?"

"Yeah, we're going home Timmy," replied Melvin, ruffling his hair affectionately. Teether was still pinned to her chest. Her mature voice returned. "Say thank you to the nice lady."

"Thank you miss Wachel," said Timmy, handing her his own picture timidly. "I did bwue for you."

Rachel looked down at the picture and saw that he had drawn a rudimentary stick man and stick woman both in blue. She could only assume it was meant to be the two of them. Her heartbeat escalated as a realisation hit her; these children weren't brats at all. They were kind of sweet in their own way. She gave a small smile and looked up. "Thank you. That's very kind, Timmy."

The redheaded boy grinned from ear to ear, clutching his blanket to his blushing cheeks. Melvin smiled at the young woman, offering her a small wave. "Thank you for looking after them, Miss Rachel. See you!"

Without another word, she stuffed Bobby into her back pocket and held hands with both her brothers as she walked out the room with purpose. As the door slammed behind them, Rachel felt the sadness hitting her chest once more. She found herself wondering where home was for them. Whether they would get another meal today. Whether they would be safe. Whether their parents ever gave them a hug or spoke to them with kindness.

_'You're getting soft,'_ came a strange voice in her mind. She batted it away as she finalised the clearing up. Checking the clock, she realised it was almost lunch, and wondered where Jenny had gotten to. As she hoisted the craft box back into its usual position, she heard the door clang behind her. Turning with a smile as she anticipated her friend had come to find her, Rachel spoke. "Hey Jen, I was just thinking about—"

Her thoughts clanged to a standstill as she realised that the person in front of her was not Jenny at all. A woman with white hair pulled back into a bun and a business suit was standing in the doorway. Her dark rimmed glasses shone in the light of the room, and she had a small amused smile on her face. "No, not Jenny, Rachel. It's just me, I'm sorry to say."

"Miss Wilson, I—"

"Don't worry about it, you seemed very distracted. Something on your mind? Anything about this morning's session I should know about?"

Rachel swallowed, wondering whether to divulge her concerns or not. Rose Wilson was a strange woman; one moment she seemed to be your best friend, the next she was out for blood. It was difficult to know which one to expect at any given moment of the day. Unsure what else to do but be truthful as she was caught on the backfoot, Rachel shrugged and folded her arms. "I was just talking to that young family; Melvin and her two brothers Timmy and Teether."

"Ah, yes. The Johnson family. Was there a problem?" asked Rose, her grey eyes looking blank and vague. Rachel shook her head slowly.

"No problems. I was just worried about them. I thought perhaps Melvin should have been in school at this time of day. It didn't seem right for her to be collecting her brothers and—"

"Miss Roth, you are a youth worker not a social worker. It is not our role to deal with such issues. The Johnson's have a caseworker who is managing them, and if she is satisfied that their care is sufficient then it is not our place to question it."

Rachel felt her temper flare. "But how could the social worker know about this if we don't tell her? Melvin's attendance at school may not be good which in turn—"

"Rachel, that is not _our_ concern. I wrote my report on the Johnson's when they became part of this programme. All I want you to do is look after the boys when they are here and send them home with a full belly and some good memories of their time at the youth centre," responded Rose, firmly. She had folded her arms and was staring darkly at the young woman over her glasses. "_That_ is the purpose of this project. Do you think you can do that?"

_'It's not worth it,'_ said a calming voice in Rachel's mind. _'Don't do something you'll regret later.'_

"Yes, ma'am," replied Rachel, albeit slightly facetiously "I do."

"Good," responded Miss Wilson, her face brightening for a moment. She appeared not to have noticed the tone behind the young woman's last sentiment. However, the amused smile still played on her lips. "Because I'm assigning you to 'brat brigade' duty for the foreseeable future. You are now the official overseer of the Monday Morning project. That is all."

With that Rose turned on her heel and clicked back into the empty corridor, leaving a stunned and frustrated Rachel in her wake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. Review replies are at the end!

* * *

**Chapter Two**

It was raining when Rachel left work, and with some frustration she realised that she had left her umbrella at home in her rush that morning. Pulling her hood up on her jacket she raced towards the apartment block, her feet pitter pattering on the pavement as she ran. Thoughts from the day raced through her mind at an equal pace. She had spoken with Jenny about her conversation with Miss Wilson and her new assignment on the project. After the initial laughing and teasing, Jenny was fairly sympathetic. Especially when Rachel had explained her concerns about the Johnsons.

"That woman is a jobsworth," Jen had snarled, baring her teeth. "She only does the bare minimum, with complete clinical precision. It's as though she's had an emotional bypass. I dread to think what her home life was like. I mean, I know ours wasn't the best, Rach, but can you imagine what must have happened to her as a kid to make her like this?"

It was a good point, and not one that Rachel had considered previously. Very little was known about the elusive Rose Wilson. She detested three things; tardiness, being called by her given name and inefficient or incompetent staff. The fact that Jenny and Rachel had lasted two years was nothing short of a miracle. With the exception of Jerry, whom it was rumoured was biologically related to Miss Wilson in some way, they were the longest serving staff at the centre. Perhaps in some way they were both as headstrong as she was. That and the fact that they had each other to lean on and moan to had been invaluable.

Rachel scrabbled around in her bag for her keys as she made her way to the entrance to the apartment. Sheltering underneath the canopy, she cursed as she finally laid her hands on them. Once she was inside the building, she shook her long dark hair out. To say that she was sodden would be an understatement. Rainwater dripped from her forehead and down her nose. She tried wiping it on her sleeve, but it only served to make her face wetter. Giving up, she headed for the elevators muttering under her breath.

"I hate Mondays."

"I hear you," came a velvety male voice behind her. Rachel jumped slightly, not realising anyone else was waiting for the lift. She turned and looked over her shoulder and saw a dark-haired male who she didn't recognise standing behind her. He smiled in a friendly way despite her bedraggled appearance. "I did remember my umbrella this morning though, so I guess my day wasn't as bad as yours."

Rachel shrugged, and turned back to the elevator as it pinged. "You don't know the half of it. I can't wait to get home and unwind."

"Absolutely," agreed the man, stepping into the lift behind her. "Floor?"

"Seven," replied Rachel, stepping back and leaning gently against the glass. The man nodded and hit the six and the seven on the number pad. He turned back towards her as the doors closed, a small smile on his face. Rachel cocked her head. "We've never met before. Are you new here?"

"Yes, I moved here last week from Steel City. I work with the marine biologists out there, but there's a major project in Jump that they wanted me to help out on," replied the man, his dark eyes flashing beneath the artificial lights. Rachel suddenly became aware of how attractive he was and felt a sudden discomfort at her saturated appearance. She plucked at her soggy sleeves and tried to appear interested. He continued to speak obliviously. "It's been a big change but I'm settling in. How about you, have you been here long?"

"Two years," replied Rachel, tucking her hair behind her ear self-consciously. "We live at 701. It's okay here, definitely not the worst place I've stayed."

"We?" said the man, curiously. Rachel nodded, forgetting that the man had no idea who she was referring to.

"Oh, sorry. My flatmate and I moved in together to save on rent."

"Ah, I see. Luckily the company are paying my rent so I'm able to stay alone which is nice," nodded the man, looking at the numbers as they flicked closer to his floor. "Well, maybe we will run into each other again. I'll let you know if I need a cup of sugar or anything."

Rachel laughed lightly, forgetting herself for a moment. She blinked, as he extended his hand. "My name's Garth, by the way."

"Rachel," she replied, taking his hand in her small pale one. "Rachel Roth."

"Nice to meet you, Rachel Roth. Hopefully see you again soon," said Garth, in his dulcet tones. The elevator pinged on cue and he stepped out, turning briefly to waggle his fingers at her as he strode towards his room. The lift doors closed, and Rachel felt her cheeks go hot. She had _definitely_ not been ogling him as he walked towards his apartment. Though it did fill her with a pang of excitement to know that he was living downstairs. Just wait until she told Jenny tomorrow, she'd be green with envy.

The doors pinged again, and the young woman squelched down the corridor to the apartment. She could hear movement behind the door and knew that Gar had made it home first. That wasn't unusual. His job's hours were different from hers seeing as he worked in wildlife conservation. She pushed her key into the slot and turned, and the door swung open.

Gar was in the kitchenette, pots and pans banging around. Rachel turned to shut the door and heard him pause. He'd clearly heard her coming in, and she kicked her damp shoes off before walking through. Gar laughed upon seeing her soaked state.

"Hey, it's the lady of the lake," he joked, walking towards her and tugging on a strand of soggy hair. "Did you get teleported into the ocean again?"

"Very funny," remarked Rachel, poking him as he released her damp hair. She began to struggle out of her wet coat, and he reached over and helped her peel it off. "Ugh. It's been a nightmare of a day."

"Uh oh," replied Gar, hanging her coat on the rack and walking back to the kitchenette. "I know what that means. Emergency fluids?"

"You say the loveliest things," joked Rachel, collapsing onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar. "Yes please. Make it a double?"

"Coming up," replied the young man, as he uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured her a glass. "So, what happened? Besides the obvious lack of preparation for the weather of course."

"Well, I was almost late to work again for starters. Then the infamous Miss Rose Wilson put me on brat brigade," grumbled Rachel, taking the glass from him gratefully. He sat opposite her and listened quietly. "Then there was an issue with these kids and when I tried to talk to her, she said I was overreacting and chewed me out. Then told me I was taking over the project indefinitely and left. I forgot my lunch but thankfully Jen shared. Oh yeah, and then I got rained on."

"Oh man. That is a rough day," agreed Gar, picking up his own glass of wine and taking a drink. "But you know that you do a good job, Rach. There's no better empath than you. Try to chalk it up to being one of those days. I'm sure you did the best you could."

"Yeah, you're right," agreed Rachel, trying to dry some of her long dark hair as they spoke. "Besides, I just met our cute new neighbour from downstairs on the sixth floor. So, I guess it wasn't _all_ bad."

"New neighbour?" enquired Gar, shrugging and looking blank. Rachel nodded, noticing the colour rising to her cheeks again.

"Yeah. His name is Garth and he's a marine biologist, apparently."

"Oh, right," replied Gar, but his tone had changed slightly. It sounded harder, more disinterested. Rachel tilted her head, a small smile playing on her lips.

"What's the matter Gar-bear? You're not _jealous,_ are you?"

"Why would I be jealous, Rae-Rae?" sneered Garfield, shoving her arm. "I'm perfectly secure in myself."

Rachel snorted, taking a long drink of the red liquid. It soothed her instantly. "So, it won't help when I tell you he lives alone, and his apartment is paid for by his company?"

"Well, then I definitely win because I don't live alone. I get to live with you," joked Gar, sticking his tongue out at her. Rachel rolled her eyes at his complimentary tactics as he protested. "Oh, come on. That was a good one."

"That's what you say about all of them, idiot," smiled Rachel, taking another sip of her drink. "Anyway, how was your day?"

"Same wildlife, different day," shrugged Garfield, running his hand through his blond hair. It stuck up messily, but somehow seemed to look just right. He smiled brightly. "But I do have news. I spoke to Vic and he's totally up for a meet up with all of us. We're thinking maybe to do a weekend away somewhere. What do you think?"

"I think that's the best news I've had all day," replied Rachel, feeling her mood brightening right away. A weekend away with her childhood friends – what could be better? Although she wasn't the most sociable person in the world, she appreciated the idea of being with them after so long. "When are you thinking?"

"Vic suggested a weekend next month. I checked our planner, there's nothing on there so I figured it would be good," smiled Garfield, his green eyes shining with mirth. "It's gonna be so _freaking_ sweet!"

Rachel nodded in agreement, lulling into silence for a while as she stayed with her thoughts. The gang together again. It had been a long time since that had happened, probably around eighteen months at least. Since she and Gar had moved away it had been more difficult to organise. Despite frequent phone calls and emails, it never felt quite the same. Gar seemed quiet too, alone with all of his thoughts. Rachel's eyes drifted up and she looked at him. His brow was furrowed with concentration. He seemed a million miles away. She studied his face, thinking back to her earlier contemplation about them not living together one day. The pang of pain hit her again, and she realised that she truly was fearful of that situation arising. There was something tugging at the back of her mind, but she couldn't fully fathom why it was that she felt so uncomfortable about him moving away. Leaving her. Then it hit her in an instant.

Gar was her safety, her security. She never felt more normal than when they were together at home like this. It was the closest thing she'd ever had to family in her entire life. It was if the world stopped for a moment as the realisation dawned on her. Suddenly, Rachel's eyes changed, and she looked at him differently for a moment. What if Jenny was right, there was something more between them? She didn't think of him that way, of course. But...did Gar think of her that way? Rachel blinked, suddenly pulling herself short. None of it mattered anyway. They were just friends...

Just friends. Right?

Suddenly hit with fear at what her mind was doing, she cleared her throat. Gar glanced towards her, a puzzled look on his face. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Just processing my day," replied Rachel, her mind scrabbling to go back to the blissfully ignorant state she had been in five minutes before. She felt self-aware all of a sudden. Using the only defence left at her disposal, she tried to deflect. "Are you?"

"Yeah. Well. Kind of," replied Gar, cryptically. Rachel tilted her head, taking another swig of her wine. She looked at him expectantly until he spoke. Sighing, the young blond continued. "It's Tara. I'm rethinking it again since our conversation this morning."

"Oh," replied Rachel, feeling discomfort and relief wash over her in equal measure. She took a deep breath and exhaled. "Look, Gar. I didn't mean to give you a hard time about it. It's only because I care about you. You do know that, right?"

"I do," smiled Gar, his eyes twinkling in that way they always did when he was being authentic. Rachel smiled back, relieved that he wasn't angry with her. He shook his head. "It's not you, Rach. I was just thinking about all the crap I went through with her the last time we were back on again. I just don't know if it's worth it. I guess I'm just questioning what I want from relationships now. I'm not a dumb kid anymore, you know?"

"I know what you mean," replied Rachel, pushing all jokes about Gar's mental capacity to the back of her mind. This was definitely not the time. She shrugged, taking another sip of her rapidly decreasing glass. "So, what _do_ you want?"

"To be happy," shrugged Gar, laughing at the simplicity of his statement. "I know it's cliché but it's true, Rae. I just want to come home to someone I want to see. I don't want to argue and fight all the time and play mind games. I want the easy life, really."

"Yeah, a wife and 2.4 kids, I know," replied Rachel, trying not to sound too bitter about it given her earlier sentiments. "You've said before."

"I have, and it's true. I'm just not sure I want that with Tara. Our relationship was always about fun. Style and no substance, you know what I mean?"

"Well, I know what you mean where _she's_ concerned," replied Rachel, trying to keep her tone even. She reached out and touched his hand gently. "But I know that you can have those things, Gar. You deserve them and you'll find them one day."

Garfield gave a goofy grin, his slightly crooked tooth poking through as it always did. He fixed her with a stern look. "Thanks. You'll find it too, you know that?"

"Come off it, Logan. That life isn't for me," laughed Rachel, releasing his hand and finishing her wine. "We both know that I'll be here long after you leave."

"If you say so," shrugged Gar, standing up and starting to put something together for their dinner. Rachel was hopeless in the kitchen, so he did all the cooking and she did all the cleaning. She fiddled with her fingers as they were silent for a few moments as he clattered about. Suddenly, he turned and gave her mischievous look. "Then again, Mr. Marine Biologist always has a spare room if you're lonely..."

* * *

Two empty bowls stained with red pasta sauce lay on the small coffee table in their lounge. Rachel and Gar were sprawled across their couch, relaxing after their long day. Several more emergency fluids had been consumed. As the show Gar was watching came to an end, Rachel flicked her blue eyes over the pages of her book. She blinked, letting out a wide yawn.

"What time is it?"

"It's almost eleven," replied Gar, stretching in a catlike way and yawning widely. He gave her a small smile and tilted his head towards her novel. "Good book?"

"Yes," replied Rachel, pushing herself into an upright position. "Didn't want to come back to reality."

"Aw, is my company really that bad?" jested the blond, twisting towards the couch arm and looking over towards her. A serious look came over him all of a sudden. "Look, Rach, work is going to be fine tomorrow."

"How can you _possibly_ know that, Gar?" laughed the young woman, pushing herself to a more comfortable sitting position and folding her legs beneath herself. "If you can predict the future then you should have insisted that I took my umbrella today, you ass."

"Alright, Miss Sarcastic. The point I was making is that, whatever happens tomorrow you can handle it. You're one of the most brave and resourceful people I've ever met, Rae."

"Please stop, you're going to make me cry," responded Rachel, dryly. She closed her book and placed it on the coffee table. Pausing for a moment she took a breath. "Thank you, I appreciate it. It's good to know I've got you on my side."

"Of course. You'll always have me, Rae. I'll always be here for you," smiled Gar, reaching his arms out towards her for a hug.

The young woman fought back her involuntary flinch. Tenderness from men was definitely not something she had been used to as a child. But as she had grown, she had learned that if she wrestled the initial discomfort back it could actually be quite nice. Besides, she trusted Gar more than anyone else in the whole world. She shuffled forwards, resting into his embrace and placing her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating gently beneath his t-shirt. Wrapping her delicate arms around his torso, she returned the hug and smiled as she closed her eyes.

"I know you'll always be there for me," she responded, feeling his grip on her tighten as he rested his chin on her head. "You always have been, dork."

"That's right. You're stuck with me, babe," chuckled the young man, the rumbling in his chest echoing in the brunette's ears. "That's just how it is."

"For now," replied Rachel, ambiguously. Gar's weight shifted and he gently pushed her back so that he could look her in the eye. His eyebrows were raised, green eyes full of concern and confusion in equal measure.

"And what's that supposed to mean, huh?"

"Well," shrugged Rachel, reaching up and pushing his arms away so that she could fold her own across herself. "I just don't want you to make promises you can't keep."

"So, you _don't _think I'll always be here for you?"

"I think you mean it when you say it. But it just isn't practical, is it?" replied the young woman, casting her blue eyes down to their worn couch. All hints of comedy had vanished from the room, and a strange thick atmosphere had descended. "Like you said earlier, we want different things from the future. I mean look at the others; we all swore we'd be best friends forever but then we all went our separate ways. It's what happens, Gar."

"I'm still here," responded the young man quietly, his eyes staring at her in a strange way. Rachel looked up, frowning lightly. Gar's face had changed; she'd never seen him look so serious before. "I'm not leaving you, Rach. That's what this is about isn't it? You really believe that one day we'll all leave you and you'll be alone."

"I don't think th—"

"Rachel Arella Roth. We have been friends for the best part of twelve years. I know you inside out, upside down and back to front. I know your fears. I know how you think and how that crazy mind works," began Garfield, tapping on the side of her head. "Don't tell me I'm wrong, because I know I'm not."

Rachel fell silent. She didn't feel able to tell him that he was spot on. Her mouth wouldn't let her betray the truth. Gar continued, knowing that she was unlikely to speak.

"Look, Rae. I don't know what the future holds but...I know what I think and how I feel," he began, reaching down and taking hold of her small, pale hand. "You are part of my family, that's _never_ going to change. How I feel about you is never going to change."

Rachel looked down at their entwined fingers, that peculiar feeling from earlier creeping over her. She could feel her heartbeat changing, increasing to an abnormal speed. She swallowed, unsure what to do with all these new and unexpected emotions that were flowing over her. Surely it was just the alcohol and lack of sleep that were the cause.

Right?

She looked up into his green eyes; they were filled with a pure, genuine emotion that she couldn't name. She'd never seen it before. Rachel was scared. Something was shifting between them in that moment. The young woman could feel it with every sense within her being, and she knew that it could never shift back.

"Gar, I..." she began, noticing how dry her throat felt. "I'm frightened."

"Of what?" he asked softly, reaching up to tuck her dark hair behind her ear. His hand lingered a moment longer than it should have, fingertips brushing her fair cheekbone. Her heart somersaulted in her chest at the contact. Her words were lost again. What was she scared of exactly? This was her best friend, a man she had known for a large portion of her childhood and all of adult life so far. He wasn't likely to betray her or hurt her. The truth hit her in an instant; there was only one thing that was petrifying her.

Her own feelings.

Rachel was scared of these different emotions she was having for him today. As though she was seeing him through a different lens somehow. Gar was waiting patiently. He knew her well enough to know that she was lost in thought and was expectantly looking at her as she processed her mind. Their hands were still entwined, unmoving. They grounded her somehow. This was real. This was happening.

"Um, I don't know," replied Rachel, feeling shy all of a sudden. "Everything's just different today. You're different."

"I'm different?" replied Gar, looking genuinely surprised by her answer. He shifted closer to her, his hand gripping her smaller one supportively. "How am I different, Rae? We've always done this; most evenings for the past two years. You come home. I cook, and we eat. You talk to me; I talk to you. You read your books; I watch my shows. Then we get up, go to work and do it all over again."

"I know _that_," replied Rachel, a tinge of frustration in her voice. "Maybe you're not different. Maybe I am."

"Rach, you're talking in riddles. You know I'm not that smart," laughed Gar, breaking the atmosphere slightly. It had felt tense, uncomfortable almost. She took the humour with gratitude, her blue eyes flashing with thanks as she looked up at him. "You might feel different, but you seem like the same person I've always known and loved."

Her heart kicked in her chest. _Loved._ Gar loved her. But why did that feel so important today? Sure, they'd both said it lots of times. But through her new lens, it felt like the most sacred word in the whole world.

"Do you?"

It came out of her mouth before she could stop it. Her blue eyes widened with fear at what she had just said, and the young man looked slightly baffled by the enquiry. He paused, eyebrow quirking.

"Do I what?"

"Um," began Rachel, suddenly struggling to breathe. She didn't know where this was going or what she was doing anymore. Everything felt like a mess, a blur. Back-peddling seemed like the only option. "I don't know. Forget it. I'm in a strange mood."

"No, come on," replied Gar, his eyes filled with concern again. He shifted even closer, so their knees were touching. Her eyes faltered and fell down to the couch once more. He lifted her chin resolutely. "Don't do this, you always disappear on me. I swear if you could you would magic yourself away."

Rachel felt tears pricking her eyes all of a sudden. It was all too much. This morning she had woken up in an apartment she shared with her best friend in the whole world. Now, she was sitting opposite a man that she was clearly having feelings for and she didn't know what the hell was going on.

"I can't," she pleaded, her eyes welling up. Gar tilted his head, still looking serious. Rachel shook her head. "I can't do this."

"Do what?" he pressed, his breath tickling her face. He was close now; it was too much. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," replied Rachel, her eyes suddenly full of longing. "But I know we shouldn't."

"Why not?" breathed Gar, his eyes flicking down to her lips and then back up again to her blue eyes. "What might happen?"

"I don't know," repeated the young woman, confused to her core. Every part of her wanted to run, yet every part of her wanted to stay. She blinked; their noses were almost touching. They'd never been this close before and it both excited and terrified her. She found some strength to push back "You tell me what might happen."

Gar paused. He stopped moving entirely and his green eyes flickered closed. He took a deep breath then exhaled. Reaching up, he kissed her on the forehead gently. "It's okay, Rachel. Nothing bad will happen. You never need to be scared of me. I'd never hurt you; I promise."

He released her hand, the strange tense air in the room shattering altogether. Rachel blinked, noticing a strange sense of disappointment within her as her heartrate returned to normal. Her hand felt cold all of a sudden, her body shivering in response. He shifted his position a little to give her some space. She swallowed, sensibility returning to her once more.

"I guess we should clear up," she began, licking her lips anxiously and rubbing her hands down her trouser legs to smooth them. "I'll sort this out."

"It's fine, I can give you a hand—"

"No, you cooked. I got it," smiled Rachel, trying to remember how much she cared for her best friend. The rest didn't matter. "You go get some sleep, I'm sure you've got a busy day tomorrow."

Gar nodded, his eyes locking onto hers for a moment. He looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it and stood to his feet. His jovial attitude returned, the one that she knew so well. "Sleep well, beautiful. See you tomorrow."

"Night, Gar."

Rachel busied herself in picking up the bowls and glasses and heading to the kitchenette. She heard his bedroom door close a moment later and let out a relieved breath. What had just happened there? Nothing like that had ever transpired between them. She leaned her arms on the side for a moment, trying to gather her strength.

_'This can't be good,'_ she reasoned in her mind, taking a deep breath. _'This is __**Gar **__we're talking about. Your goofball, best friend since school. Your sweet, caring companion. What the hell are you thinking about? He doesn't feel that way about you. That boat sailed a long time ago, remember?'_

She didn't want to remember. She'd pushed her strange feelings towards him away a long time ago. Especially ever since...

...no, she didn't want to think about that right now. She shut herself off from everything, a practice she had learned as a small child. Now in her dissociated state, she cleaned the kitchen and washed up in a silent, almost meditative trance.

"Time for bed," she whispered to herself, walking towards her room like a zombie. As the door closed, she contemplated whether things would go back to normal in the morning or not. Somehow, she doubted it.

* * *

**Review replies:**

**Mr. Ursine: Thank you :)**

**EvilGirl24: I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! I've finished the story, so I'll keep uploading regularly until it's done. **

**Sanzojoe: A familiar face! Thanks so much, I'm glad I didn't disappoint with an attempt at an AU...it's been tricky, keep on letting me know what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. Review replies at the end!

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Rachel pushed her bedroom door open a split, wondering if Gar had already gone to work. His door opened at the same time, and she felt the panic rising in her chest. Taking a deep breath and reminding herself that this was her best friend, she walked towards the kitchenette and put the kettle on.

"Morning, Rachel."

"Morning, Gar. Sleep well?"

It was tense, uncomfortable. Rachel turned to look at him. He was evading her gaze, gathering his things together for work. She narrowed her eyes. He seemed upset, somehow. She wondered if she should broach last night; maybe she should mention it first. Be the bigger person. Clear the air. But fear overcame her, and she backed out. Waiting for his response felt like a lifetime.

"Not bad," he shrugged, as he pulled his waterproof coat on. He finally raised his eyes to meet hers. "You?"

"Same," she replied, playing with her jumper cuff and leaning on the side. "Off to work?"

"Yep," Gar nodded, zipping up his backpack and hoisting it onto his back. Rachel felt brave for a moment and moved towards him. She placed a hand on his chest, halting him as he went to leave.

"Gar, look. Are we okay?"

"Why wouldn't we be?" replied the young man, cagily. He was tense, she could feel it beneath her hand. She lowered her arm and hugged herself.

"Last night...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I feel like I've messed everything up," admitted Rachel, her blue eyes looking up at him imploringly. "I don't want to leave it like this."

Gar let out a long and laborious breath. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "It's fine, Rae. You're still my best friend. But I have a headache right now, and I need to get to work. Maybe we can talk about it more later, okay?"

Feeling no more reassured and wondering why that was the case, she hugged herself tighter before nodded her head affirmatively. Gar let go of her and headed towards the door without another word. As it closed, it was as though something snapped within her. Anxiety tore at her insides. Voices exploding inside her head.

_'I should have done something last night. Maybe I should have kissed him!'_

_'Why the hell would you think that? We don't want to kiss __**Gar**__! He's our best friend and nothing more.'_

_'But now he hates me. I can't do anything right.'_

_'I don't want to lose him. I'm scared.'_

_'Why do I even care so much about him? Men aren't to be trusted.'_

Rachel clutched her temples, willing her mind to be quiet. She abandoned her cup of tea, not feeling like it in the slightest. Her feeling was that she just needed to get out of the apartment and away from it all. Grabbing her own effects, she marched to the door and closed it behind herself. Perhaps she would be early for the first time in six months. But Rachel didn't care. This morning there didn't feel like much worth being late for.

* * *

"You're early," said Jen, handing a steaming mug of tea to her colleague. Rachel looked up, accepting the cup of tea silently. "You're never early."

"Sometimes I'm early."

"Not in the past six months," retorted the woman, flicking her pink hair and sitting down next to her friend. "What's wrong, sis?"

"I...I don't want to talk about it," hesitated Rachel, her eyes staring into the dark tea. Jen snorted and slapped a hand on her shoulder.

"Duly noted. Now what's wrong?"

Rachel fixed Jen with a dark look, her blue eyes narrowing. "You're pushing it, Jennifer."

"Always," smiled Jenny, her teeth flashing under the artificial light. "Now tell me what's the matter. I'm worried about you, Rach."

"Something happened with Gar. I don't want to talk about it," replied Rachel, caving under Jen's relentless interrogation. "Can we drop it now, please?"

"Uh oh, lover's tiff!" joked Jen, giving the brunette a poke. Rachel felt her eyes welling up with tears. Everything became hazy in the dusty room, and she scuffed her feet on the floor to try and distract herself. Jenny's tone shifted to concern. "Hey, hey, come on now. It can't be that bad. I was only kidding around."

Rachel sniffed, rubbing her nose on the back of her sleeve and taking a sip of her tea. It had no flavour, held no comfort. Sighing, she placed it gently down next to her chair and rested her head in her hands. Jen was silent for a few moments, waiting to see if Rachel was going to elaborate. She didn't.

"Look, I get it. It's none of my business. But I'm here for you if you need me," the young woman said, tapping her fingers on the side of her chair. "I'm not much good at this kind of stuff but I do care about you, Rach."

"I know you do," responded Rachel, managing a small smile and snuffling until the tears receded. "It's not your fault, Jen. I'm sorry if I'm being rude."

"Whatever happened between the two of you, I'm sure you'll figure it out. You've been best friends for like forever, right? You guys are tight. Things like that don't just vanish because of a little argument, you know?"

"I hope you're right," replied Rachel, closing her eyes and taking some deep breaths. She opened them a split and turned back towards her friend. "Thanks for the tea, Jen."

"You looked like you needed it."

"I did," nodded the brunette, starting to feel some normality returning to her mind. "I really did."

There was another pause, as the two watched the comings and goings of the rest of their team. Laughter, chattering and some less than savoury language was in the air. Just a typical Tuesday morning at the centre. Rachel elbowed Jenny, causing the pink-haired woman to look at her.

"Guess what?" she began, conspiratorially. "There's a really cute guy whose moved into the sixth floor on my block."

"Ooh, tell me more," replied Jen, her light eyes flashing mischievously. "Is he tall, dark and handsome?"

"Actually, yes. Olive skin, dark hair and dark eyes. Velvety voice. Tall and in good shape. Plus, he's a marine biologist apparently."

"Total heartbreaker!" exclaimed Jenny, triumphantly. She shared Rachel's views on relationships, having had her fair share of drama in her youth. "I need to see this guy. Like yesterday."

"What about Wally?" asked Rachel, an evil glint in her eye and a smirk on her face. Jenny rolled her eyes and kicked her feet.

"He's old news."

"What? I thought you really liked him," replied the brunette, batting her eyelids teasingly. "Thought he might be 'the one'."

"Oh please," pouted Jenny, folding her arms like a child. "Don't give me that love at first sight crap."

"You did like him though. More than the rest."

"I do. I mean, I did."

"You do? You mean you're still seeing him?"

"It's not serious, Rach."

"Are you kidding me, Jenny? If you give someone a _second_ date, it's serious. How many times have you seen him now?"

"Oh, you know. Six or seven. Maybe ten, I don't keep count."

"Wow," managed Rachel, her blue eyes wide with shock. "I don't believe it. It's definitely not a flash in the pan then."

"Don't be ridiculous. It's not like we're exclusive," protested Jen, the pout still on her face. "I still want to meet our biology friend."

"Maybe some time," shrugged Rachel, noncommittally. "I can't believe you have a boyfriend."

"Wally West is _not _my boyfriend!"

"Whatever you say, sis," mocked Rachel, giving her friend a playful shove and watching her face colour change to match her hair. "Come on, piglet. I'm just teasing."

"Enough with the piglet crap, you raven-headed idiot!" growled Jenny, her body language changing to aggression. Rachel laughed at her behaviour, not intimidated in the slightest.

"What happened to raven-haired beauty?"

"You've been downgraded."

"Ah," smiled Rachel, wrapping her arm around the woman gently. "Well, that sucks. I thought you were meant to be cheering _me _up, not the other way around."

Jenny seemed to calm and this and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder with a sigh. "You're right. Sorry for being a jerk."

"Me too. Let's go get some more tea, this one has gone cold."

* * *

Rachel left work on time but dragged her heels all the way home. She hesitated at the glass doors to their apartment block, fumbling half-heartedly in her bag for her keys. Letting out a deep sigh, she closed her eyes for a brief moment.

"Need a hand?"

The young woman turned; her blue eyes wide at the sudden sound behind her. She clutched her chest. "Oh, Garth. You startled me."

"Sorry about that," replied Garth, reaching across her to swipe his key on the pad. The door clicked and Rachel pushed it open, holding it behind her so that her downstairs neighbour could follow her inside. "Having a better day?"

"I'd like to say yes," remarked Rachel, quietly. "At least I didn't get drenched today. How about you?"

"It's been great. Really, the oceans here are fascinating. So different to where I'm from originally. I don't know where the days go," responded Garth, pushing the elevator call button. He paused. "What do you do for work anyway?"

"Oh, nothing special," mumbled the Rachel, feeling the blush creeping up her neck again. "It's not interesting. Not as interesting as what you do anyway."

"Ah, a _mysterious_ woman," replied the man, flicking his dark hair and leaning on the wall. "Is your flatmate as mysterious as you?"

"No," replied Rachel, trying not to laugh at the idea of Gar being mysterious. "He's an open book."

"He?"

The man stiffened for a second, a look of surprise in his dark eyes as he processed something in his mind. Rachel raised an eyebrow and folded her arms.

"Last time I checked, yes."

"Oh."

Rachel eyed him warily, unsure about this sudden change in posture. Was he hitting on her? It was probable she would have missed it. Her school friends had always teased her for being oblivious to such things; whether by choice or otherwise. Wrapping her arms around herself protectively, she felt her walls rising up to protect her.

"I made the stupid assumption your flatmate would be a woman," continued Garth, unaware of her inner turmoil. "Really dumb of me, I guess."

"Not really. I didn't say yesterday."

"No, I suppose you didn't."

There was an awkward silence as the lift pinged its arrival. Rachel stepped in, hitting floor seven on her way past the numbers. Garth filed in behind her, looking sheepish all of a sudden as he hit the button for the sixth floor. As the first two floors dinged by, neither of the pair spoke.

Eventually, the dark-haired man rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Look, Rachel, I'm kind of sensing that I've upset you. I'm an idiot – I put my foot in my mouth all the time. I'm better suited to fish than people, in truth."

"It's fine," shrugged Rachel, feeling slightly less defensive. She could tell he was trying to be genuine. "I'm sorry if I'm prickly. He and I kind of had a...falling out yesterday."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," replied Garth, as the elevator hit his floor and the doors opened. He paused again, hand blocking the sensor to the door. "Look, I know we only met yesterday but if you wanted a listening ear you're welcome to come in for a coffee."

"I..." hesitated Rachel, her blue eyes faltering. She didn't know this guy. He could be a serial killer or anything. But there was something about him that seemed genuine and kind. She fiddled with her sleeves, opting for the politest option. "I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble."

"It's no trouble. In truth it would be nice to have some company. I haven't got any friends in this city yet, and it's a long trek back to Steel."

Rachel wrestled with her inhibitions. Perhaps he was genuinely looking for companionship and it was all very innocent. Besides, one coffee couldn't hurt, right? She sighed, fixing him with a stern look.

"Okay. But if you try anything funny, you should know I have a mean left hook."

Garth smiled. "Understood."

* * *

"Here we go."

The door to Garth's apartment opened and Rachel drew a sharp intake of breath. It was beautiful by comparison to their homely space upstairs. It was clearly a business rental, that much was obvious by the clinical appearance. But it was modern and slick. The minimalist colours made it look fashionable and stylish. To an extent, just like Garth. He turned, noticing she was still standing in the doorway gawping.

"Ah, a bit different from your place?"

"Just a bit," replied Rachel, closing her mouth and taking a few steps through into the lounge. "I never knew a place like this existed in our block. For the record, I'm never inviting you over."

"I won't take that as an insult," Garth laughed, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Rachel wrinkled her nose and took a few more ginger paces into the apartment. Garth flicked his coffee pot on and pulled out two mugs from the cupboard. He tilted his head, velvety voice drifting across the room. "Milk or sugar?"

"Black, no sugar," replied Rachel, wandering into the kitchen and looking at all of the appliances wistfully. "Wow, your company really look after you, huh?"

Garth nodded, seemingly amused by her rubbernecking. "I've definitely landed on my feet here, that's for sure."

As he poured the steaming liquid into the mugs the smell hit Rachel's nose. It was quality ground coffee. Not like the cheap, nasty instant stuff they supplied at the youth centre and tried to pass off as 'real coffee'. He pushed a mug across the countertop towards her.

"Thank you," said Rachel, gratefully wrapping her hands around the offering. "And thanks for inviting me over."

"Thank you for agreeing to stop by," said Garth, taking a sip from his own mug. "It can get a bit lonely. I have to confess solitude never crossed my mind when I agreed to move here."

"Well, we're only upstairs if you ever want some company."

Garth nodded, gesturing towards the lounge. As Rachel sat herself on the ample couch and admired the design, Garth spoke again. "So, you were saying in the elevator that you'd fallen out with your friend."

Her eyes shifted towards his, and she felt that peculiar feeling creeping over her again. "Oh. Yeah, I did."

"You seem upset about it."

"I am," admitted Rachel, taking a sip of the coffee. It tasted even more delicious than it smelled. "Gar and I go way back."

"You're close?"

"Best friends for twelve years."

"I see," replied Garth, sipping his drink again. "That _is_ a long time."

"It is. We met at school," shrugged Rachel, feeling unusually comfortable in Garth's presence. "When I decided to move to the city, Gar had just got a transfer to a department downtown. It made sense to share on bills; neither of us are affluent."

"Very practical. So, does it work, or do you drive each other mad?"

"A little of both," laughed Rachel, leaning back in her chair and reminiscing over the past two years. "But actually, it usually works really well. After all these years, I suppose we just 'get' each other, if you know what I mean."

Garth nodded, sipping at his coffee thoughtfully. "So, what did you argue about?"

"Well...we didn't argue, exactly."

"I thought you said you did."

"I said fell out. Gar and I don't really _argue _anymore. Believe me, he drove me insane when we were kids. We were in the same friendship circle, and at first I couldn't stand him. But then I realised that we're just very different and that's okay. We see the world differently but ultimately hold the same values, you know?" Rachel mused, looking into the dark coffee. She closed her eyes and exhaled. "From the moment I realised that was the case we were inseparable. Things have just changed lately."

"Changed how?" asked Garth, tilting his head. Rachel felt her stomach drop, at the realisation of what she had been a hair's breadth away from disclosing to him. She looked up. The dark eyes were staring at her expectantly. The even stare was uncomfortable. She shuddered and decided that was far enough for today.

"It's not important. Anyway, all I've done is talk about me and Gar. You must have hundreds of friends back in Steel City far more interesting than the likes of us."

"Not really," shrugged Garth, seeming to accept the change in conversation without question. "I've never really had that 'friendship group' thing like you were describing. I certainly don't have friends I'm as close to as you and Gar. I just have a collection of friends that I've made over the years. But each one is special to me in different ways."

"I see," replied Rachel, nodding. "I suppose I've got other friends outside of the 'group' as you put it. My only friend from the city these days didn't go to school with me but we're pretty close really."

"Oh, so you _do_ have some female friends then," laughed Garth, clearly trying to make light of the earlier comment. Rachel gave a small smile, feeling the heat creep over her again. Draining the last of her coffee she checked the time.

"I should get going. Thanks for having me over. I feel better for talking things through."

"It's really no problem. Anytime you need a friend you know where I am."

"Ah, have I made it onto your list of special friends already?" remarked Rachel, raising her eyebrows as she put her mug down. "That was easy."

Garth let out a deep laugh that made Rachel's toes curl. "Maybe. We'll see."

She nodded, thanking him again before leaving. As the door closed, she felt her heart flip in that familiar way. She was definitely attracted to him and that terrified her.

But what terrified her more was the fact she now had to go and face Gar. Did she want to revisit everything from last night? She hit the call button and waited patiently.

Perhaps some things were best left in the past; she liked things the way they were. The thoughts she was having must have been simply because she was afraid of him leaving. That was all there was to it. They were just friends. Best friends.

That was all.

* * *

"You're late, Rae-Rae," came a familiar voice from the inside of the apartment. Rachel closed her eyes and kicked off her shoes.

"Sorry, I was having coffee with a friend," she shouted back, as she hung her jacket on the rack and walked into the lounge. Gar was sat playing on his favourite video game, eyes firmly on the screen. She lingered behind him, unsure what to do. The strangest part about all of this was that she was normally so comfortable around him. Previously she would have launched herself onto the couch with a book and kicked her feet into his lap without a second thought. Now it all felt odd; uncomfortable somehow. She took a deep breath, trying to centre herself. "It was kind of an impromptu thing. How was work?"

"It was fine. They let me come home early, so I was making the most of my time off."

"Ah, being productive as ever, I see."

"Quiet, you. How was your day in the end? Wilson giving you grief still?"

"Nah, it was actually fine today just as you predicted. Wilson was busy in the office for the most part. Plus, I was able to get away on time for once, so it wasn't all bad."

Gar was silent as he progressed through a more difficult part of the game. Rachel bit her lip and looked at him. His face was lined with concentration, his jaw clenching slightly. She felt a peculiar desire to touch his cheek creep over her and blinked hard before clearing her throat.

"So, um. What did you want to do for food?"

"I'm not feeling it tonight, Rae. Pizza?"

"Yeah, works for me. No emergency fluids though. I need to be up on time tomorrow otherwise Wilson will be on my ass again," she added, picking up the phone and dialling their local delivery place. Gar seemed distant but other than that his tone was friendly and normal. The pizza arrived and they both huddled around the counter, tucking in. Rachel looked up from her slice to see Gar looking at her thoughtfully as he chewed. She touched her face absently.

"What, do I have something on my face?"

"Well apart from that massive zit...kidding!" amended Gar, as Rachel hit him with a napkin. "No, nothing like that. I was just surprised, that's all."

"About what?" asked Rachel, munching her pizza hungrily. Gar tilted his head, reaching over and rubbing some stray sauce from her lips. Rachel felt her heartbeat escalate at his touch and tried to calm herself down. Rubbing her lips together absently, she grabbed a napkin self-consciously to get the rest of herself.

"I'm surprised that you didn't mention what happened this morning. It's not like you to hold that stuff all day with no consequence."

Rachel shrugged. "You said we were still best friends."

"We are, Rae."

"So, Gar. What more is there to say?"

Gar looked awkward for a moment and then munched in silence. Rachel looked at him, unsure what else to say. Wiping his fingers on the napkin, the young man shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"I guess nothing," Gar said eventually. He managed a weak smile. "If you're happy, I'm happy, Rachel."

The young woman smiled back, still feeling that strange knot in her chest. She knew she wasn't being wholly truthful with him. But she so desperately wanted things to go back to normal. Her talk with Garth had solidified her thoughts, and she was clinging onto it with both fingers. There was a silence, but it was heavy and laced with something unknown. Garfield took a deep breath then exhaled.

"Anyway, the weekend away with the guys is on. Next month we're all heading up to a cabin in the mountains for the catch up. Are you still in?"

"As though you even need to ask. Of course. I can't wait to see everyone."

Garfield gave a toothy grin; fist pumping the air triumphantly. "Sweet! Just think, all of the Titans together again."

Titans. It had been a long time since she had heard that name. Their friendship group had been widely known throughout the school as the Titans, due to the fact that Victor was a member of the school football team, the Jump City Titans. Seen as his 'fan club' by the rest of the school, the nickname caught on pretty quickly and everyone embraced it. Since school it had stuck, although rarely used anymore.

"Titans forever," whispered Rachel, a small smile on her face as she took another bite of pizza.

* * *

**Review replies:**

**GolemXIV: **Purr away! Haha, I'm so touched by your reviews and kind comments. Honestly. Thank you so much, I hope you keep reading and enjoying!

**Miss Geek:** Thank you so much, what a sweet comment! I hope you enjoy the story, I promise to update regularly!

**Sanzojoe:** You might be onto something there ;)

**SharonLaly:** Glad you're enjoying it so far - hope this didn't disappoint!

**Anonymoose:** Aww, would I do that to you? Maybe I would. But you know by now it will all come right in the end...it'll be worth the journey, promise :)

**Thanks to you all for your kindness - see you on the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. Time for some familiar faces...review replies at the end, thank you for all of your support as ever! Warning: there is coarse language in this chapter. As mentioned previously this story is not appropriate for children or young people.**

* * *

**Chapter four**

_One month later_

Rachel looked out of the window of the coach as it travelled into the mountains. Gar was next to her, listening to his headphones and bopping his head involuntarily to the beat. She gave him a brief glance, before looking down at her book again absently. The words blurred together on the page as she became lost in thought.

The past month the atmosphere in the house had felt different. They had still interacted and gone through the motions of living together as they always had. But the spark between them had vanished. It was replaced with an unspoken feeling that neither of them wanted to mention. Rachel had seen Garth a few more times at his apartment but hadn't mentioned it to Gar. For some reason there was a guilt associated with her visits to the sixth floor that she couldn't understand. She swallowed, feeling the shame running over her like cold water.

Gar nudged her and pointed out the window. Their stop was approaching, and the two gathered their things together in silence. For some reason, the excitement of seeing everyone for the weekend was marred by her discomfort with her companion. Part of her just wanted to hide away in her room for the whole weekend and not come out. Pulling her rucksack onto her shoulders, Rachel followed the tall blonde man to the end of the coach and disembarked. As the coach drove away, the two of them had a short walk up the road to where their cabin was located. They began to trudge uphill, and Gar turned towards her.

"So, here we are. We made it!"

"We did," agreed the young woman, meekly. "Here we are."

"You seem quiet, Rach. Even for you. Are you okay?"

_'Nothing has been okay since that night and you know it, Gar Logan,' _a voice in her mind screamed. _'You should tell him how you're really feeling.'_

But instead Rachel nodded dumbly and hoisted her bag onto her shoulder, pushing the voice aside. "Yeah, just tired from the journey."

The building came into view, and they fell back into silence as they made their way towards it. Outside the property were some very familiar faces, and Rachel felt her heart lift for a moment.

"FRIENDS!" came a deafening scream from their right-hand side. A flash of red hair and blur of a purple jacket came flying out of nowhere and knocked Rachel backwards so hard she nearly lost her footing. Her bag slid to the floor with a loud thump. As she realised what was happening, she started to laugh.

"Kori," she mouthed, her friends thick red locks stifling her nose. The redhead still smelled exactly the same as she had done at school; of strawberry shampoo. The scent filled her with a strange nostalgia. "It's good to see you."

"Oh, friend Rachel," whispered Kori, her voice wobbling with emotion. "It has been over a year since we last met in the person."

Kori Anders was Rachel's closest female friend. Kori had joined their school late as she had emigrated to Jump City from across the ocean. Her familiar yet distinctively peculiar accent gave Rachel another sense of comfort. Kori released the brunette from her grip and looked into her eyes. "Let me see you, friend. You look not a day older than when we last met. The beautiful as always."

"Come off it, Kor," replied Rachel, self-consciously brushing her dark hair out of her eyes. "We both know who's the beautiful one here."

"Yes, and it is you!" exclaimed Kori, sticking her tongue out at her friend petulantly. She grinned again, widely. "Wonderous to see you. And Garfield! Joyous day!"

Within a moment she had disentangled herself from Rachel and was clinging onto Gar's taller frame, her feet dangling from the floor. Rachel let out a louder laugh at her companion's discomfort. "Say hi to Kori, _Garfield._"

"Gar," corrected the young man, looking more than a bit flustered at Kori's words. It was rare that anyone used his full name. "Hi Kor. I'm pleased to see you too dude, but I can't breathe!"

Kori released her grip on the man, blowing him a kiss instead. "I am just so excited! I have not been so excited since my day of birth."

"Yeah, she nearly throttled _me_ to death then too," came a deeper voice from behind the two. Rachel turned slowly, but Gar flinched.

"You gotta stop doing that, man!" he protested, rubbing the back of his head. "You and Rachel move like _cats, _I swear."

"I'll take that as a compliment, Gar. Good to see you both," replied the dark-haired man, his blue eyes filled with mirth as he shook Gar's hand affably. Although subdued, Richard Grayson was a firm friend. He had known Rachel since before the rest of the group, and for the young woman it was like seeing a long-lost brother. She flung her arms around his neck.

"How are you, Richard?"

Richard wrapped his own arms around her with a smile on his face. They released their embrace, and he nodded. "Good. Even better now you're all here."

"Hooray!" exclaimed Kori, bobbing about behind them. "We must go and see the others. They must be itching to see you!"

Kori grabbed Gar's hand and dragged him off towards the group. Rachel let out a low chuckle and turned to retrieve her bag. Richard bent down and picked up the straps, handing them to her gently. "How's life treating you, Rach?"

"You know...as life does," shrugged Rachel, taking the bag with a small, amused smile. "Unexpected twists and turns, and a whole heap of crap."

"Oh, ever that optimist I've come to know and love," laughed Richard, wrapping his arm around her amicably as they walked towards the rest of the group. "Are you finding it okay bunking down with Gar?"

Rachel paused. This was the moment she had been dreading. She knew the question had come from a place of innocence and curiosity. But as it was mentioned, it felt like someone poking a wound. She swallowed nervously, as Richard looked at her sidelong. He was examining her in that way he always did when he was trying to work something out. She knew she needed to answer quickly. "It's fine."

Richard stopped walking, his arm dropping away from her shoulder. Rachel stopped in surprise, turning to look at him. "What?"

"Don't give me that shit, Rachel," he chided, placing hand on her shoulder. "Did something happen?"

Rachel bit her lip, her eyes faltering to the floor. "It's complicated, Richard."

"What? How? I thought you guys had become the best of friends since that whole fireworks incident ten years ago."

Rachel felt her heart sting and she blinked rapidly. "We were. We are. I don't know, Rich. It's all been a bit weird lately."

Richard's blue eyes narrowed, concern lining his face. "In what way?"

"It's hard to explain. Hell, I don't even have it straight in my _own_ mind yet. Maybe we can talk about this later?" she added, quickly. Her eyes had turned towards the group who were a few feet away. There were a few inquisitive looks being shot their way at the raised voices and she didn't want to arouse suspicion. She looked back towards Richard hastily and muttered under her breath. "It's not common knowledge."

"I'm just worried about you," countered Richard in a lower tone, despite being in full big brother mode. Rachel smiled and met his eye. She placed her hand on his arm gently.

"I know you are, but I don't know what else to say. We haven't _argued_. We haven't really even fallen out. There was just a weird moment about a month ago and things have been a bit tense at home since. You know what we're like; it'll sort itself out."

Richard nodded, maintaining his serious expression. "Okay. Look, I know we don't see each other so much these days, Rachel. But you know I'm always here for you, okay? Kori too. You're always welcome to come and stay with us if you ever need a break."

Kori and Richard had been high school sweethearts and inseparable ever since. They lived out at a place called Bludhaven, in a small apartment close to where Richard worked. He was a police detective there, whilst Kori kept herself busy as a foreign languages' teacher.

"I do, and I appreciate it," smiled Rachel, returning a brief nod. "I promise I'll let you know, but I'm sure it's just a passing phase."

They turned and resumed their walk towards the rest of their fellow 'Titans'. Rachel felt the need to move the conversation away from herself. "How are you and Kori doing anyway?"

"Actually, we're really good," admitted Richard, awkwardly. He wasn't brilliant with emotional conversation, especially when it was about his own sentiments. Rachel smiled, feeling genuinely pleased that it was the case. He continued to speak. "In fact, I wanted to tell you something about this trip. I—"

"There's my lil' sis!" shouted another familiar voice, and suddenly Rachel was scooped up from the ground, her backpack clattering to the floor for the second time that day. She screamed as she saw the sky coming closer and the earth moving further away. Turning her head, she noticed the laughing face of her largest friend and gave him a light smack on the shoulder.

"VICTOR STONE!"

"Hey, she still remembers me," joked Vic, planting a kiss on her forehead then dropping her back down to the ground. She gave him a dark look, but she couldn't maintain it without a small smile. Victor ruffled her hair affectionately, knowing he had gotten away with his actions. "How are you, Rachey?"

"Good, I think. Nauseous but good."

Victor chortled at her sarcastic comment, his expression brimming with nostalgia. "I've missed you so much, girl. Is the G-man treating you right?"

"He's behaved so far," replied Rachel, bending to pick her bag up again. She smiled, trying to push away the conversation with Richard. Deflection was key. "How's my famous big brother getting on?"

"Oh, you know I'm good!" exclaimed Vic, striking a pose and producing a football from seemingly nowhere. "It's a big year for me; I'm being bought by another team and my coach is _so_ mad. They keep arguin' over me and it's great. My pay packet just keeps on gettin' higher and higher. Booyah, baby!"

"Wow, you need to let me know what _that's_ like," replied Rachel, dryly. Victor laughed lightly, then a serious look came over him.

"Hey, hey, now you know I can't be having my baby sister strugglin'. You need any cash you call me, okay?"

Rachel smiled and nodded, knowing that he meant it. But there was no way she would ever tap Victor Stone for money. He had been very generous to her over the years, and now he was world class American Football Star he was over generous with his money. Especially where his friends were concerned. He'd even insisted on footing the bill for the whole weekend.

But Rachel would never take advantage of him. He'd 'adopted' her as his honorary little sister due to her circumstances at when they were at school. Often the Stone family would have her over for meals or to stay when times were particularly rough. From then on, the moniker had stuck, and he always delighted in teasing her with it.

"So, y'all ready to get some grub? I'm starvin', man."

"What else is new. Hey, where's Sarah?" asked Rachel, leaning around her friend's large frame. He shook his head, a sad smile on his lips.

"She ain't here yet, Rach. She had to work late; you know how her job can be. But she'll be with us later on."

Sarah Simms was Victor's long-term girlfriend. Away from the glitz and glamour of the football league, she did an excellent job of keeping him grounded. Sarah worked in a similar environment to Rachel, except that her specialisation was working with children who had received recent diagnosis of physical disability. Sarah had become a complimentary addition to their group and was valued by everyone. In some ways, it was as though she had always been there.

As the three friends approached the rest of the group, Rachel noticed that there were a few of their wider reaching friends in attendance.

Roy Harper, Karen Beecher and Malcolm Duncan were all chatting away to Gar and Kori. At school they had seemingly branched off into their own group with a few others, never becoming quite as close as Rachel and the other four had. However, she was pleased to see them all together again after all these years. Karen turned, and she spotted the young woman from a distance.

"Girl, I don't believe it!" squealed Karen, elbowing Roy and Malcom out of the way to get to Rachel. She threw her arms around her and bounced up and down. Slightly uncomfortable with the sudden contact, Rachel patted Karen's hair with a bemused smile.

"Hi Karen."

"It's been _years_, girl. How are you? You're looking so good. Just like I remember, only with longer hair."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" growled Rachel, but Karen didn't hear her. She'd already grabbed the brunette's hand and had dragged her towards the rest of the group. After several moments of reunion, Victor protested his rumbling stomach again, so they all headed inside to the cabin to eat. Rachel hung back for a moment, turning to appreciate the scenery. It was beautiful; an idyllic backdrop with flora and fauna galore. She took in a deep breath of air and smiled, feeling at peace for a moment.

"It's beautiful, right?"

Rachel turned slightly, although she recognised the voice well. Gar was standing next to her, looking out across the mountains. She nodded, her eyes returning to the backdrop. "Yeah, it is."

"I know about this place through work. I've been up here a couple of times to do some habitat surveys. I always thought it was a great spot."

"Well, you're right," admitted Rachel, as a gust of wind blew her hair and clothes back and forth. They were silent for a couple of moments. Gar turned towards her, a serious look in his eyes.

"Hey, Rae?"

"Yeah?"

"I know things have been a bit odd lately. But I was hoping that maybe we would have some time here to repair. Get back to ourselves again."

Rachel gave a small nod. "Sure."

"Cool," smiled Gar, reaching out and touching her on the shoulder gently. His green eyes were twinkling. He always seemed more alive when he was outside, somehow. "I'm going to head in. See you there when you're ready."

Rachel gave another nod and turned back towards the view. She heard his footsteps moving away from her and took a deep breath. The front door of the cabin banged shut, signalling his departure. The sadness hit her in an instant.

_'Get back to ourselves again? That's impossible,'_ she thought, pulling her coat around herself. _'Everything has changed, Gar. When are you going to understand?'_

Closing her eyes, she felt a few tears leaking out and blowing away into the breeze. She wiped her cheek with the back of her sleeve and turned to walk into the cabin.

* * *

"Pass the salt, G."

"Ugh, so you can season your dead animal?"

"That's the general idea, yeah."

Rachel rolled her eyes and looked around the room as she entered the cabin. She'd missed this. The incessant arguing between Victor and Gar, Kori and Richard snuggled up in the corner whispering and giggling like children, Karen and Roy having a contest to see who could lift the most firewood...

...it was like a long-forgotten memory coming back to her. She smiled and walked into the space, feeling as though she was light as a feather.

"Give me the _goddamn_ salt, G!"

"_No_, man! Not until you admit you're a murderer!"

Walking swiftly towards the table, she lifted the salt and handed it to Victor without a word. Gar glared at her, obviously put out. She ruffled his hair and then made her way past them all and up the stairs. There were several rooms, many of them having already been claimed. At the end of the corridor was a lone room, slightly smaller and darker than the rest, but it had the best view. Rachel smiled, pulling the door shut behind her and heaving her bag onto the bed.

"Perfect."

There was a shout from downstairs, disrupting her thoughts. Even through the heavy door there was no mistaking the sound of her friends calling her back.

"Rachel, come down here."

"Rachey, don't you shut that door!"

"Come on down, Rae-Rae!"

"Friend, please do return to us!"

"Rach, we're coming up to getcha if you don't get your butt down here in the next two seconds!"

She shook her head at their audacity. They remembered that she was often inclined to spend her time alone in her room with her head in a book. She shrugged, turning on her heel and heading downstairs. "If you can't beat 'em..."

As Rachel's heavy footsteps began to descend the wooden stairs there were whoops of excitement and joy. As she rounded the corner into view, everyone turned towards her, both jeering and cheering in equal measure. Rolling her eyes, she gave a small bow before walking back into the room. As she landed on the couch next to Richard, she fixed them all with a friendly glare.

"You guys are idiots."

"You've missed us, admit it," grinned Victor, plonking himself next to her. She felt herself raise off the couch as he landed. Rachel elbowed him, sarcastically smiling.

"Right. I've really missed being peer pressured into being sociable. That's what my life has been lacking this past year. Fun company."

"Hey, what do you mean? You've still got _me_ to be sociable with!" exclaimed Gar, indignantly.

Rachel raised her eyebrow and folded her arms. "I rest my case."

Everyone burst into laughter, including Garfield himself. There was a warmth in the room that Rachel hadn't experienced in some time. Richard slapped his hands down onto his lap and stood up.

"So, what's the plan for this weekend guys?"

"What is it with you and plans, pointy head?" remarked Victor, a nickname that harked back to Richard's over use of gel as a boy. "Why do we need to plan it all out?"

"I just want us to make the most of our time together. It's not like this happens every day," countered Richard, ignoring the jibe and shrugging. "Hey, I'm happy to just relax. I've been busy all week with criminals and lunatics, so you'll hear no complaint from me."

"I agree with Rich," said Karen suddenly, dusting off the woodchips from her earlier contest with Roy. "We should do something together. Make some memories."

"Gar, didn't you say that you worked up this way?" said Roy, folding his legs beneath him from his perch on the floor. "What is there to do round here?"

Garfield was silent for a moment. He scratched his chin in thought, tongue sticking out in that familiar way. Rachel shook her head, looking down at her hands patiently. She hoped that he wouldn't come up with something too wacky. She wasn't sure she could take it right now.

"Well, there's a place nearby that do canoeing in the lakes around the mountain. There's some horse-riding ranch further up the track. Or there's a pretty awesome hike to the summit of this mountain."

"Ooh, yes friends! A hike sounds joyous!" exclaimed Kori, wriggling about in excitement. "We could take a picnic if there is a spot to sojourn at?"

"There's a really nice waterfall up there," added Gar, nodding at the redhead. "We could stop there."

Vic became suddenly excited. "Oh, hell yeah! Swimmin' in the waterfall, baby!"

"Might be a bit cold for that," replied Richard, chuckling. "But it sounds good to me. You all agree then, guys?"

Everyone else also muttered to the affirmative, including Rachel. It didn't sound so bad; the young woman quite liked the outdoors, and she could even take a book with her to read near the waterfall when they stopped.

"So, it sounds like a plan," smiled Richard, putting his hands in his pockets. "But what are we going to do tonight?"

"I vote a cookout in the backyard! I saw a firepit back there," stated Victor, gesturing towards the grounds behind the cabin. Everyone stood to their feet and went to have a look. There were mutters and comments made, but eventually everyone seemed to be in agreement that they could make it work.

Rachel hung back as they all rushed outside and started to set up the yard for the evening. She leaned on the doorframe and watched the five men arguing over what was the best way to arrange the fire. Kori appeared at her side, bubbly as ever.

"Is it not wondrous, friend? We are all together again!"

"It's pretty great, Kor," stated the brunette, nodding her head. She turned from the doorway and walked towards the kitchen. "I'm going to make some tea."

"Tell me, how have the new living arrangements been functioning?" asked Kori, following her friend into the kitchen area as she filled the kettle with water. "Is it to your satisfaction living with friend Gar?"

"It's not really new, we've been there for two years now," shrugged Rachel, feeling frustrated that this topic was coming up again. She pushed the button down on and heard the familiar whirr of the appliance warming up. "It's a nice block to live on. I've even made friends with our male neighbour downstairs."

"Ah, do tell all!" exclaimed Kori, excitedly. Rachel rolled her eyes and folded her arms, leaning her weight on the countertop. It was as though they were fifteen again, sharing stories about cute guys in the playground.

"There isn't a lot to say, really. His name is Garth. He's a marine biologist that moved across the country. He didn't have many friends in the area, and we got to chatting...well the rest is history really. He's friendly and funny."

_'And pretty cute,'_ said a voice in her mind. Rachel ignored it, focusing instead on the steam pouring from the kettle. Kori clapped her hands together with glee.

"It is fabulous that you and Gar are making new friends."

"Oh, well actually...Gar has never been down to Garth's place."

"He...has not?" replied Kori, looking a little perplexed. Then another thought dawned on her. "Ah, so you mean you and this Garth are doing 'the dating'?"

"What? No! We're not dating."

"I am confused," shrugged Kori, shaking her head. "Perhaps I have missed something?"

"Gar and I aren't tied at the hip, Kor," shot back Rachel, a little firmer than she intended. She softened, as she saw her friend wince. "What I mean is, we are _allowed_ to have different friends, you know."

"Of course you are! It is just that...oh, it is of little importance."

"What?" asked Rachel, turning to pour the hot water onto her teabag. Kori hesitated, biting her rosy lip. Rachel turned to look at her, her eyebrow quirked in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"I would not wish to anger you," admitted Kori, shyly. "We have not seen each other for so long and I do miss you so. I wished for it to be a glorious weekend. Not to be full of past matters which do not—"

"You're rambling, Kori."

"I apologise, friend."

"Look, you can talk to me," reassured Rachel, sitting down opposite her friend at the breakfast bar with her tea in her hand. "I'm not a child anymore. Whatever you need to say, just say it."

"Very well," agreed Kori, resting her arms on the table and drumming her fingers. "I just merely wondered if you were wanting to make friend Gar jealous."

Rachel nearly spat her tea across the countertop. She looked at the redhead incredulously. "You wondered if I _what_?"

"I did not mean to shock or offend. It is merely that I thought perhaps the reason you have not included Gar is because you were trying to create jealousy."

"Why the _hell_ would I want to do that?" asked Rachel, her eyes like saucers. Sometimes she couldn't follow Kori's logic. It was as though she was from a completely different solar system.

"Well because of how you used to view friend Gar."

"How I used to..."

Rachel petered off, her mind ravaged with memories and pain. She closed her eyes firmly, feeling the emotion welling up behind them. Swallowing, she sipped her tea and pushed the memories down. "I see."

"You are not mad?"

"I'm not mad, Kori. I'd just forgotten."

"You had forgotten about your feelings for him?"

"Look, what happened when we were fifteen was a long time ago. I'm twenty-five years old, Kori. I don't have those kinds of silly crushes anymore," began Rachel, glancing towards the door to ensure no one had re-entered the cabin. The others seemed engrossed in their tasks, sounds of the chaos emanating through the open doors. She sighed. "When Gar and I first met he drove me crazy. But yes...for a while I thought maybe there might have been something there. You know why I made the decision that I only wanted to be friends and nothing more. And for the past ten years that's how it has been."

"But feelings...they do not simply vanish, friend," argued Kori, reasonably. "Now he is no longer a silly boy but a man."

"Yes, he is," nodded Rachel, taking another sip of her tea. "And I do still love him. My feelings for him have just changed to being friendship rather than anything more."

Kori paused, biting her lower lip again. Reaching out she touched her friend's hand. "I am aware that you were hurt. That it was men that hurt you."

"Kori—"

"No, you said that I was to be honest. Here I am being honest. Firstly, your father treated you so badly. And so, you protected yourself. You were frightened to confess your feelings. You buried them. You cut yourself off and kept yourself safe. Then, there was creature you called 'Mal'."

The redhead's green eyes were filled with a rage at the mention of Rachel's ex-boyfriend. It was as though they were lit with fire. She took a deep breath to steady herself, then continued.

"Mal came along and you opened your doors for him. You trusted for the first time ever and you were burned by the flames of his betrayal. Then you closed your doors forever."

"I guess that's a fair representation. If not a little poetic," interjected Rachel, shaking her head. "Mal _was_ the only person I had ever trusted in that way."

"Since then you have had such exciting flings with lovely gentlemen. But none of them stay. You do not allow any of them to get close to you. None except for Gar."

Rachel paused. She eyed her drink, questioning whether it was only tea she'd put in her mug. Because for a crazy moment, Kori's words began to make sense in her mind.

"Gar is the only man with whom you allow this closeness. Yet you will not admit to yourself that you still wish to take the step of intimacy. You keep your doors closed. You are afraid. Yet, you are also afraid of losing him, are you not?"

"How can you possibly know that?" whispered Rachel, feeling concerned that perhaps her friend had gained psychic abilities. Kori took hold of her friend's hand once more, a sympathetic smile on her beautiful face.

"Because I know _you_, Rachel. I understand the way your mind turns. I have witnessed all of the events I have described. I can see the patterns even if you do not."

Rachel swallowed hard. Maybe Kori was right. What if the 'best friends' label had been a way to keep herself safe? Now everything was seeping back through. It was possible that Garth had become a barrier for them, in some twisted way.

As if on cue, her companion continued to speak. "This Garth. Do you find him to be attractive?"

Rachel blushed, colour rushing to her face. She stared at her tea hard. "Yes."

"Yes," repeated Kori, nodding as though she was expecting the brunette's response. "Therefore, he is simply there to keep you tethered to where you want to be. Do you see? He is safe, where Gar is not. He can just be another – what is the phrase – indentation in the bedpost."

"Notch," corrected Rachel, squeezing Kori's hand and then letting go. "A notch on the bedpost."

"Exactly," replied Kori, her voice low. "Tell me friend, am I correct in my assumptions?"

"Maybe," countered Rachel, feeling uncertain of everything. It felt like the meticulous walls she had built over the past ten years had been fractured with a single conversation.

In truth, it wasn't that she had _forgotten _about her feelings towards Gar. She had _repressed_ them through choice. Now that Kori brought them back into her consciousness she was suddenly hit with new realisations. Things made a little more sense.

So, where did this leave her?

"I'm not sure what to do with this information, Kori."

"Nor am I," shrugged Kori, chewing on her lip again. "Perhaps it would have been best if I had kept silent."

"No," admitted Rachel, flicking her fingers against the mug. "I needed to hear it."

"Then I am glad I took a risk. But I am wanting you to know that I would never say anything to anyone."

"I know you wouldn't, Kor. You're the kindest and most trustworthy person I know," smiled Rachel, her eyes shining with tears. "I know you care. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore."

Kori looked at her with her striking jade eyes, and they began to well up too. The two women looked at each other sadly for a few moments before the noise from outside drew closer.

"They're coming back," sniffed Rachel, wiping her eyes on her sleeves hastily. Kori mimicked her actions before fluffing her hair.

"They are."

"No more now," Rachel stated, her eyes hardening. "This conversation didn't happen. Let's have our weekend."

"Okay," nodded Kori, still playing with her red hair absently. Rachel gripped her mug, feeling her walls rising again. It was easy and familiar. Victor stepped through into the kitchen.

"Hey, that's where you two got to!" he exclaimed, walking over to them. "Uh oh, who died?"

"Just leave it, Vic. What do you need?"

Victor flinched at her comment but did as he was told. "We're after some extra pairs of hands to sort out the seating arrangements. But if you're busy then we can—"

"No," interrupted Rachel, pushing her chair away and standing up. She looked at Kori, who nodded in understanding. "We're all done here."

* * *

**Review replies:**

**Azarath Cat: **Yay, another familiar face! I hope you're doing okay, and thank you for the compliment :) Hope you enjoy this chapter too.

**Golem XIV: **I have to torture them...it's in my contract ;) There may be some Tara and definitely some more Garth! I'm glad you're enjoying it, but more torture until the happy ending (probably) like always (usually). I mean I'm not that mean (most likely). :D

**Miss Geek: **Aw, how kind of you to say! I'm glad you enjoyed it. This is another longer story. I've got a few other BBRae ones in the mix yet, they aren't AUs either so watch this space. Let me know how you found this chapter :)

**Sanzojoe:** I can neither confirm nor deny your prediction :D Haha, but keep guessing. I hope you spotted some easter eggs in this chapter :)

**AngelBornInHell130: **Cool name! Thank you, I hope you enjoyed this chapter too :)

**Anonymoose: **We have to build up the tension, dude...squares, triangles...all kinds of shapes! Haha, I hope you enjoy this chapter and as per my comment to Golem I will try not to torture you too much :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe. Review replies at the end - thanks for the ongoing support!**

* * *

**Chapter five **

The food had been eaten, drink had been consumed and darkness had descended upon the cabin. The fire was still burning strong, and all of the 'Titan' group were huddled around it for warmth.

"I wanna do s'more singin'," slurred Roy, haphazardly raising to his feet. Karen pulled him back down and he tumbled onto his butt.

"Can it, carrot-top. You're drunk."

"Am not," protested Roy, folding his arms. Karen laughed, opening another beer and taking a swig from it. Beside her, Vic and Malcolm followed suit. All of them were talking loudly, their chattering vanishing into the night air.

Rachel was curled up on the far side of the fire with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She had wanted to bring a book out with her, but the light was long gone so there seemed little point. She yawned, feeling sleepy next to the crackling fire. Pulling her blanket around herself she gave a small smile as she noticed the foursome now swaying and singing an incoherent version of 'Danny Boy'. Kori and Richard were sat together, looking up at the stars. Rachel's eyes drifted upwards and she noticed how clear they were from here. The constellations could be mapped almost perfectly by the naked eye.

"No emergency fluids for you tonight, huh?"

Rachel turned her head to the side, noticing Gar had sidled over. She wasn't sure where he'd been, but he had vanished for an hour or so. Rachel shrugged. "Everyone here drinks _beer_. You know how I feel about beer, Logan."

"I do," smiled Gar, sitting next to her and handing her a glass. "That's why I opened the red wine."

Rachel felt a strange hotness in her chest and was glad that it was dark enough to mask the rising colour in her cheeks. "Thanks, Gar."

"Anything for you, apartment wife," joked the young blonde, stretching his legs out. "How are you doing anyway?"

"Good. I was just looking at how clear the skies are here."

"I know, right? You don't realise how polluted the cities are until you come out here."

"Definitely. We couldn't see this from the apartment block's roof, that's for sure."

Gar laughed and shook his head. Taking a sip of his own drink he folded his legs beneath himself and watched the drunken quartet as they tried to sing a rendition of 'Whisky in the Jar'. He snorted. "Goddamn. What are they like?"

"Idiots," smiled Rachel, sipping her wine and leaning closer to the fire to warm herself. "But they're _our_ idiots."

Gar nodded, wincing as they hit a note entirely in the wrong pitch. "Yikes. They'll never win Jump City Idol anytime soon."

"No, I think you're pretty safe in that assumption," smirked Rachel, watching them all collapse into laughter as they forgot the lyrics simultaneously. She looked at Gar in the half-light. What if what Kori had said was true? Maybe she did still have those old feelings for him. But what would that mean to him? Back at school he was clearly not interested. So, there was little to make her think it would be any different now.

She cleared her throat. "Have you been having fun?"

"Oh yeah. It's always good to see everyone," nodded the blond man, turning back to face her. The fire was flickering in his green eyes. "I'm glad you came along this weekend."

"As if I wouldn't," countered Rachel, lightly pouting. "I know I'm not the most sociable person in the world, Gar. But I'd do anything for my friends."

"No one is questioning that, Rach. I was referring to the fact that _maybe_ I sensed you might not wanna spend time with me right now?"

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise. "Why would you think that?"

Gar shook his head, running his hand through his blond hair and sighing deeply. "Come on, Rae. We both know you've been distant this past month."

"So have you," countered the young woman, defensively. Gar fixed her with a long stare.

"Hey, Miss Perceptive. If you haven't noticed, I take my cues from _you_."

Rachel considered this for a moment, as she sipped her wine. Reflecting on their relationship it was true, she supposed. Shrugging, she gave a small smile. "That's because I'm always right."

Gar let out a loud laugh, shoving her gently with his elbow. "Is that a fact?"

"Yes," smiled Rachel, throwing the blanket down behind her and lying back to look up at the sky. She rested the wine glass next to her head and folded her arms behind her. The noise seemed quieter somehow from down there. Gar looked at her in a puzzled way.

"What are you doing, crazy lady?"

"Lying down," replied Rachel, dryly. "What's the matter, Logan? Afraid of a little dirt?"

"Pfft, please. I spend more time in dirt than you do," protested Gar, objectionably. He folded his arms and glared at her jestingly. Rachel smiled and closed her eyes.

"That's because you're a messy swine."

"Hey!"

"What? It's true. I clean up the flat, remember?"

Gar rolled his eyes and lay down next to her defeatedly. "Alright, we'll do it your way, Rae-Rae."

Rachel laughed as his blond curls landed next to her head. She tried not to think about his close proximity as they looked at the twinkling sky. "So where were you anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"You vanished for a while."

"Oh," replied Gar, hesitating for a moment. "I had to take a phone call. It was just work, no big deal."

Rachel looked at him sidelong, her blue eyes narrowed. Something about the way he'd spoken told her he was lying but she didn't want to press it when they seemed to be getting along for the first time in weeks. She looked back at the stars. "Hmm. No rest for the wicked."

"Ain't that the truth."

"SARAH!" came a yell, that caused the two to look over towards Victor. He had his arms open and was tottering towards the young woman, trying to plant a big kiss on her mouth. She shoved him backwards, laughing at his state.

"You're drunk, Stone."

"And you're pretty. Come and sing with us!"

Rachel snorted with laughter. "Well, they do say love is blind."

Garfield snickered as Sarah tried to guide her intoxicated beau towards the fireside so he could sit down again. It was no mean feat considering their difference in size and stature. Eventually she half lowered him, half dropped him next to Roy who proceeded to giggle uncontrollably at the situation. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Suddenly I'm glad we're on _this _side of the fire. Poor Sarah."

"Ah, she can take it," muttered Gar, dismissively. He folded his arms behind his head and looked back up at the sky. "Hey look, there's Orion's belt."

Rachel followed his eyeline and saw the constellation twinkling back at her. She nodded. "So it is."

There was a silence as they both contemplated the beauty of nature. It was quiet there, compared to the bustling life they were used to, and they drifted into a mindful state. The buzzing of their friends seemed to fade away somehow into the stillness they felt inside.

"It's quiet out here," Rachel said, eventually. Gar turned to look at her, a small smile on his face. She blinked, pensively. "I like it."

"Yeah. We should come back sometime. You know, when the flat gets too much."

"Right," laughed Rachel, a funny thought suddenly occurring to her. "Or Wilson tips me over the edge and I go on a murderous killing spree."

Gar pointed to a hedgerow down the hill. "Don't panic, babe. We can hide the bodies there."

Rachel started to laugh harder, tears forming in her eyes as he continued.

"Hey, there's plenty of bathrooms so we can wash your clothes. You can clean up and freshen up your murder weapons," the young man stated, his voice wavering slightly as he tried to stay serious. "Buy some time 'til the cops show up and we make good our escape, action movie style."

The tears were rolling down the brunette's face. She sniffed, trying to calm herself until nothing but a smile remained. "Oh, and you would help me, would you, Gar? You'd give up your freedom for my homicidal rampage?"

Gar rolled onto his elbow, propping his head up on his arm. "Are you kidding? Of course not. I'd rat you out as soon as the cops caught up to us and make out like you forced me to do it. I like you but I'm not doing time for you, Roth."

Rachel spluttered again, giving him a shove and turning on her own side to face him. Her face rested on her arm and she coiled into the foetal position. Silence lulled back over them. Except this time, they weren't looking at the sky, they were looking at each other. In the flickering light, she could see the green eyes she knew so well staring back at her. He still had that light smile on his face, and he looked like he was trying to work something out in his mind. Rachel smiled back, feeling inquisitive. "What?"

"Nothing," replied Gar, appearing suddenly unsure and shy. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "It's just that..."

It was as though the words jammed in his throat. Rachel felt her heart picking up pace. That strange atmosphere was descending over them again. She swallowed, her nerves starting to jar. But she needed to know. The words she'd shared with Kori were resonating in her mind. "Tell me."

"Rachel, I want to ask you something. But I'm scared of how you'll react if I do."

"Of how I'll react?" parroted Rachel, her blue eyes searching his for an answer. "What do you mean?"

"I'm worried that things will become strange again. That you'll make yourself distant. That's not my goal here."

Rachel bit her lip. She knew that it was going to be something important, and already every inch of her was pressing to run. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Alright, here's the deal. You can say or do whatever you need to tonight. I promise not to disappear. But after this evening then if I don't want to talk about it again you have to _promise_ me that we won't. Deal?"

"Okay," nodded Gar, considering her words. "Anything I want?"

"Anything."

"Okay, well firstly you know how I said I enjoyed that tofu casserole you made? I may have exaggerated—"

"Gar!"

"Alright, alright. I wanted to ask you something about...about that night."

Rachel knew instantly which night he was referring to. But she needed to buy time. As much time as she could to think. "What night?"

"The night that we...that things went a bit weird between us? After you told me about Wilson and the brat brigade," pressed Gar, gently. Rachel nodded, her heart almost in her throat. She was afraid to speak or move in case she broke her promise and jumped into the fire in a blind panic.

"I want to know what was going on for you," asked Gar, bravely. "Something was different about you; you were acting like you wanted to..."

The blond paused, biting his lip and looking away. He suddenly became interested in the fibres of the cheap blanket and wouldn't budge another inch. Rachel blinked rapidly, unsure what to do. She swallowed again, finding her words at last.

"Wanted to what?"

"Maybe I'm going crazy, Rach. You can tell me if I am, and I _promise_ I'll never mention it again," reassured Gar, still staring at the blanket unblinkingly. "But it felt like maybe you wanted to kiss me that night."

Rachel felt her walls cracking under the pressure of the emotion she was holding back in that moment. She let out a noise that resembled a squeak, causing Gar's eyes to shift upwards in surprise. She placed her hand over her mouth, eyes wide in astonishment.

"Did that sound come out of you?" he asked, clearly trying to lighten the atmosphere. Rachel nodded her head, her hand still firmly clasped over her mouth. She didn't make any attempt to remove it, but instead sat looking at him feeling panicked. She was like a rabbit in headlights, frozen to the spot. Gar motioned towards her, going to remove her hand gently.

"Rae..."

Rachel shook her head and moved back a little, shrinking from his reach. She could feel tears coming to her eyes. The buzz of her other friend's laughter was ringing all around them. Shame was pouring from her heart and her mind. Garfield looked at her sorrowfully, realising she wasn't about to remove her hand and speak to him. He took a deep breath and then exhaled.

"Fine, we'll just do yes or no then."

Rachel blinked at him, unsure what he meant. Garfield placed his hand lightly on her arm, as he moved it each direction to show her. "Show me yes or no. You don't have to say it out loud if you don't want to. Will you answer my question like this?"

There was a pause as Rachel processed the request. She could feel her emotions bubbling inside of her. This wasn't what she was expecting. She wasn't prepared for this. And yet...

...part of her wanted to tell him. She wanted to believe that there was a small chance that maybe he felt the same way. What was next she had no clue, but she wasn't allowing herself to think that far ahead. She nodded her head slowly back and forth.

Gar's eyes wrinkled as he smiled. "Okay. I just want a yes or no. Did you want to kiss me that night?"

Pause. It was now or never. Rachel gave the tiniest nod. It was so miniscule that someone sitting a few feet away would have missed it. But Gar saw. He froze for a moment, yet his face didn't give away any emotion. He licked his lips anxiously.

"Is that why you've been distant?"

Nod.

"So, it's not that you don't want to spend time with me then?"

Shake.

"We're still best friends?"

Nod. Gar paused again, his questions seeming to come to an end. He looked a little dumbstruck, as though he was working out what was next in his own mind. "Huh. Somehow I wasn't expecting you to say yes."

Rachel felt her worst fears coming to pass. He didn't expect it. So, it was as she had predicted. He just wanted to be friends all along.

In that moment something snapped inside her. She needed to know. After the weeks of uncertainty, after the days of waiting. The suspense of it all was driving her crazy. Suddenly she pulled her hand away from her own mouth and placed it over his in a swift action. Gar's eyes widened and he looked at her in shock.

Rachel's eyes flickered closed and she took a deep breath. Eventually, she reopened them. Her voice returned to her. "Okay. Your turn."

Gar blinked at her, his eyes seeming to be calm and controlled. He nodded.

"Did you want to kiss me back?"

Pause. Rachel felt her heart hammering in her chest. It was as though the pause lasted a lifetime. She tried to keep her hand still and not move his head for her, though the temptation to shake it in a negative motion was unbearable. Then it happened.

Nod.

Rachel stared at him. She gaped, gawked and goggled. He was looking at her, concern in his eyes. Her hand fell away, landing on the blanket with a thud. She felt panic seeping over her, clutching at her with sharp claws and gnawing at her insides.

"What now?" she whispered, suddenly aware of where they were and who was around them. Her throat felt dry, her eyes blurring as the reality of what they had disclosed hit her. Gar looked equally confused and uncertain.

"Rachel, I—"

"So, who wants to come and play some games?" garbled a loud voice by their feet. Rachel shot up in the air as though she had been hit by an electrical current. Victor looked at her, surprise in his eyes at her reaction.

"Sis? 'Sup?"

"I'm going to bed."

"Rae," protested Gar, sitting up beside her and looking concerned. But Rachel was already on her feet. Victor called after her, but she was already on the move. Somehow, she had stumbled past the two men and made her way back towards the house. She noticed Kori's worried face, but she needed space. She needed to process what had just happened.

It wasn't in her mind. Everything _had _changed. They had changed. But what that meant, the young woman wasn't sure she was ready to find out.

* * *

Rachel paced back and forth in her bedroom. She was uncomfortable inside and out, her head reeling from what had occurred in the garden. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if to try and get some warmth inside. But truthfully, she didn't feel cold. Truthfully, she felt stupid.

Stupid to have deluded herself for so long about her feelings for Gar. Stupid to have let herself get pulled into this situation again. Stupid to have nodded when she should have shaken her head. All of this would be over now if she had simply done that from the start. And yet...

Part of her had wanted to know. Part of her was _stupid_ enough to believe there was some sliver of hope that this could work out somehow. She couldn't visualise it, but maybe there was a way that they could be happy. Pausing, the young woman took a seat on her bed. The room was dark, the stars still glittering through the window at her. She lay back, eyes gazing outside, lost in thought.

They got on well enough; he was always there for her in a practical sense. He looked out for her, made sure she felt stable. They laughed a lot; often at Gar's expense, but he didn't seem to mind. They shared passions despite their differences; such as their love of the outdoors or desire to help others. Rachel smiled as she thought about how she felt when they were together in the apartment. She felt like nothing in the world could hurt her anymore. Like she was home.

A real home.

Not like the home she had shared with her father. Not like the home she had shared with Mal. Not even like the homes she had inhabited alone.

No, this home was spiritual as well as physical. He made her feel safe in a way that no one else ever had. He made her feel loved and cherished. Special. Even though she was different. Rachel recognised that Gar always seemed to uphold her differences, not seek to change them. To accept her as she was. He loved her unconditionally. And yet...

A voice in the back of her mind kept on saying the same thing over and over. _'What if we get hurt again. What if we risk what we have for something better and lose everything?'_

Losing Gar didn't bear thinking about. Rachel clutched her chest, feeling pain seeping through her. Dramatic though it might seem, she felt it. It was too much to contemplate. A knock on the door broke her thoughts.

She sat upright on the bed, her heart hammering with shock. "W-who is it?"

No reply. Rachel froze, wondering if perhaps she had imagined the sound in her pensive state. Silence enveloped her room for a few moments before the knocking came a second time. Pushing herself to her feet, she ignored the strange twist in her gut and moved towards the door.

"Hello?" she whispered again, feeling fear enveloping her being. She could sense someone was there, yet there was no reply. Her hand shaking slightly, she reached for the doorknob and turned, pulling the door back. Two green eyes stared back at her, and Rachel blinked.

"Gar?"

He seemed immobile somehow, uncertain as to what he was doing. He looked at her blankly for a few beats before gently pushing her into the room and closing the door behind him. Licking his lips anxiously, he looked at her with a serious expression.

"Downstairs, you promised me that I could say or do whatever I needed to tonight and that you wouldn't run," Gar began, his voice slightly husky. Rachel nodded, still dumbfounded that he had followed her. Gar reached up and put his hands onto her shoulders and gave her a stern look. "Do you still mean that?"

Rachel nodded again, feeling as though she had lost her voice. She was trying to work out where he was going with this line of conversation. But Gar didn't want to speak anymore. He pressed his mouth against hers with such fervour that the young woman found herself stumbling back towards the bed at speed. Her feet hit the edge of the base and they both tumbled backwards onto the mattress scrambling for breath. The young man reached back in, recapturing her lips in the kiss. Rachel's eyes were wide as she suddenly acknowledged what was happening.

_'Oh my God, I'm kissing Gar.'_

Without realising her actions, she snaked her hands around his neck as he shifted his weight onto her. Her eyes flickered shut as she felt his tongue pressing against her lips. She opened her mouth slightly and allowed the kiss to deepen, feeling herself sinking into the moment. It felt so right, so natural. Not like kissing a friend, but like kissing a lover. Rachel gently pulled away, pausing to get her breath. Her heart was hammering so hard she could hear the blood pounding in her ears. Gar leaned back on his elbows and stared down into her eyes. His expression was a mixture between bemusement and pure passion. They looked at each other for a while, both panting and trying to grasp at what was happening. Her fingers twisted in his hair, and he caressed gently down her neck. She shivered, closing her eyes and allowing a small whimper to pass her lips.

"Rae," breathed Gar, his nose brushing hers as she came back to the present moment.

"Gar," she whispered back, nudging his nose with her own and looking at him through half lidded eyes. She could feel the desire radiating off him; it was almost tangible to her somehow. Yet he was tentative.

"What's wrong?" she asked, feeling slightly puzzled by his hesitance. Gar shook his head, a small lopsided smile on his lips.

"Nothing. You're beautiful," he replied, running his fingers gently down her face. "It's just...I don't want to push you into anything."

Rachel paused, considering his words. It was true she had given mixed messages by bolting from the backyard. But his kiss had not only felt wonderful but had also piqued her interest. Everything about this felt so right. What if this was just the way it was meant to be? If she stopped now she would never know.

"You aren't," Rachel replied, firmly. She reached her hand up to graze his cheekbone gently. "I won't run again tonight. I promise."

Gar's eyes examined her, as though he was trying to work out if she was being genuine. There was something behind his expression, as though he wanted to tell her something important. But their desire reignited and took over any further rational thought. Within a moment they had resumed their kiss, entangling themselves in the darkened room.

* * *

As sunlight rose over the mountain, the trees were drenched in a pastel hue. The air was cool, breath coming out of the noses of deer in white wisps as they grazed on the dewy ground. Rachel's eyes flickered open and she came into consciousness, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings of the room. Remembering where she was, she stretched her arms out and yawned. There was a warmth behind her, and she paused suddenly, memories of the previous evening pouring into her mind. She shivered, the cool air hitting her arms as she acknowledged the gravity of the situation in which she now found herself. Glancing over her shoulder, reality bit her in the nose.

Gar was in her bed.

Rachel blushed, feeling a sudden shame pouring over her as she realised how out of control she had allowed herself to be last night. Gar was still asleep, his nose wrinkling slightly and a small frown on his face. Rachel looked at him for a few moments, shifting her position to be more comfortable. The movement didn't disturb him, but he did mumble slightly in his sleep. The words were incomprehensible, but it looked as if he was having a strange dream. Rachel listened, but it was as though the words were in a strange language.

_'Did he say 'hapana'?' _she thought, keeping still and breathing evenly. Another few words slipped out, but they were the same unfamiliar tongue. _'That sounded like tazama and maporomoko ya maji. It sounds like an African language of some kind.'_

Rachel was well read, and she considered herself intelligent. But she spoke only two languages fluently; English and Latin. The rest were a mystery to her. She tried to retain the words in her mind. _Hapana. Tazama. Maporomoko ya maji._ Perhaps she could ask him later. The distraction of his mumbled thoughts vanished from her mind, as she thought again about what had happened between them.

Their relationship had crossed a line, that much she knew for sure. But where did that leave them? Was this just a fling, a re-enactment of what could have happened that other night? Were they just friends who occasionally became lovers?

Or...

Did Gar want more? Did he want it to be exclusive? For them to be together, in a status that was more than friends?

As the questions radiated in her mind, Rachel wasn't certain which option scared her more. Being 'friends with benefits' felt safer in some ways. It didn't bring the emotional baggage, there was no need to worry about complications like jealousy. But it felt clinical, cold. This wasn't some man she had met in a bar. This was her childhood friend. Her best friend in the whole world. This was Garfield Logan. Surely the idea of being friends with benefits was ridiculous in this scenario. Feelings were already there. They were in a relationship already, albeit not a romantic one.

Rachel sighed quietly, feeling no clearer in her mind. Her peculiar gut instinct was to call Garth. She knew it was a kneejerk reaction to prove to herself that she wasn't falling for Gar. But she also knew that it would be a horrible thing to do and her morals wouldn't allow it, no matter how uncomfortable she was. She felt the young man shifting at her side, and his green eyes flickered open. He went through the same process she had; adjusting to his unfamiliar surroundings. But as his eyes landed on hers, he gave a sleepy smile.

"Good morning," he whispered, pulling her closer into a rudimentary hug. Rachel felt there was no option but to reciprocate, wrapping her hand underneath his arm and giving a gentle squeeze. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine," nodded Rachel, feeling strangely comfortable given the abnormal situation in which she found herself. She looked at him sidelong. "You?"

"Surprisingly well considering this is a tiny bed," joked Gar, using his free hand to brush his blond fringe out of his eyes. He looked a little sheepish all of a sudden, as if realising that everything was different. "Um, Rae...about last night..."

"It's okay," shrugged Rachel, looking at him softly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," he replied, green eyes full of concern. One of the downsides of him knowing her so well. He knew all of her triggers and wounds from the past. "So, _are_ you okay?"

"I'm...adjusting," replied Rachel, honestly. She knew there was no point in lying to him. He was stubborn enough to pester her for the truth at the best of times. She gave him an uncertain look, asking the question that was on both of their minds. It echoed the previous night but held much more power this time. "What now?"

Gar paused, biting his lower lip in thought. "What do you want?"

"I don't think I can answer that," countered Rachel, absently drumming her fingers on his arm. "It's all a mess in my mind."

"I understand," said Gar, nuzzling his nose into her hair. She knew that he did. The contact gave her a bizarre sense of calm, despite the overfamiliar nature of it. She felt another shudder sliding down her spine, memories of last night flooding her brain. It had been wonderful, so natural and pure. Unlike anything that the young woman had experienced before. The reminiscence brought tears to her eyes, but she pressed them back. There was a small silence, and she could hear the young man's steady breathing matching her own. She shut her eyes, listening to it and trying to centre herself. His voice broke her mindful state. "You know we don't have to do anything right now, Rach. We can just enjoy the weekend with our friends and then talk about it when we get back home."

Home. Would it ever feel the same? Was it a home they shared? Their home? Or were they still flatmates? Pushing the questions to the back of her mind, Rachel screwed her eyes up tighter trying to think about his offer. He was trying to be gentle, to be kind. The uncertainty was driving her crazy, but the thought of knowing what he felt seemed somehow worse. Rachel cursed herself over and over, but it made no difference. As her eyes opened, she was still in the same situation as before. Letting out a deep sigh she turned to look at him.

"Maybe that's best," she agreed, allowing a small smile to pass her lips. "I'm a bit overwhelmed right now."

"I know you are," replied Gar, softly. He bent his arm, fingers gently brushing her hair behind her ear and resting on her cheek. "Rae, nothing has changed. I'm still here for you. I promise to keep my word on last night. You said I had a free pass on saying and doing what I wanted. What happened last night..."

He paused, closing his eyes and shaking his head. As he reopened them, a small wistful, smile was on his face. "It meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me. If that was all that it was meant to be, I respect you enough to let it go."

Rachel blinked, a warm feeling seeping through her at his words. They were obscure in some ways, but the essence of the fact that he respected her so much made her feel so safe. Even in this position of vulnerability in which she now found herself. "Thank you, Gar."

"Anything for you, Rae. Now let's go get some breakfast."

* * *

**I was planning to split this chapter into two smaller ones for tension...but I decided to give the readers what they wanted. This isn't the end, but hope you enjoyed anyway.**

**Review replies:**

**Golem XIV:** I agree – Kori is the best! I always try to put across her more perceptive side in my stories (although of course it's sometimes fun for her little quirky naiveties to be there too) Hope your inner child loved this one too, it certainly was sweet enough, nom nom ;)

**AWESOMEROCKSTAR101:** Aw, thanks so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too :)

**Crystal Koneko:** Thank you! Hope this chapter didn't disappoint ;)

**Azarath Cat:** Hooray for Kori! She is always our little matchmaker. Happy holidays to you, lovely Azarath Cat! :)

**Mr. Ursine:** A 'chalice tale', hmm? I've never heard that before, but I love it! Hopefully this chapter may have sufficed to put you on, but we are far from the end. The chalice tale continues! :)

**Miss Geek:** I can neither confirm nor deny your assertions (but you may be right), most likely (probably) right... ;)

**Kairu-Blackstar:** Why thank you, what a lovely review. I also read AUs, normal TT, future, alternate dimension etc. But some people are fussy, so it always pays to make these things clear :) I'd never written a CySar before, thought I would try something new. I'm so glad your enjoying – let me know what you think of this chapter!

**banjoist88:** Your wish is my command :)

**Sanzojoe:** Glad you're picking up on the little nuances. You know my writing too well now! :) I try to be true to the comics where possible (tough with an AU but there we go)

**Guest:** Thank you so much – you're so sweet! Let me know what you think of this chapter too :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DCU. Review replies at the end, thanks so much for your ongoing support of my story!**

* * *

**Chapter six**

Gar had left her room and headed to his own after they had got up. There had been no kisses, no declarations of love, no further conversation of any depth. They continued as they would have any normal morning; quips at each other's expense, friendly conversation and pleasantries. As he walked through the door, he turned to look at her with an affectionate expression before waggling his fingers at her and closing the door behind himself. After Rachel had dressed and made herself presentable for the day, she collapsed onto her unmade bed. Pressing her palms into her eyes she tried to calm herself down and take in what had happened. It was as though last night was a strange, yet pleasant, dream that she couldn't awaken from. Questions hit her mind at a frightening speed.

_'How am I supposed to act around him now?'_

_'What if the others know? What if he's told everyone and they're all high-fiving down there like I'm some conquest?'_

_'What if he changes his mind and demands an answer?'_

_'What if I decide I can't do this, and he kicks me out of the apartment?'_

_'What if I decide to try this out, whatever it is, and then realise it's not right? Will he let me change my mind?'_

_'What if—"_

Rachel sat bolt upright on the bed, a dark expression on her face. Her mind was full of a million voices and she just wanted peace. How was she ever meant to work this all out with the consistent noise? Reaching for her phone, the young woman dialled in a number and hoped she had enough signal to get a connection. A few rings later there was a familiar voice at the end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Jen, I need you."

"Rach? What's up, sis? I thought you were away on your crazy weekend with your friends."

"I was...I mean, I am."

"What are you doing on the phone to me then, dopey? Shouldn't you be out getting drunk?"

"Jen, can you be serious for two minutes? I'm having issues."

There was a pause on the phone, then a sigh. "Sorry, Rachel. What's going on?"

"I'm in crisis, Jenny. I need you."

"Oh man. You'd better give me your address," replied the young woman down the phone. Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," she managed, her heartrate lowering. Jenny cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Um. Rach? Any chance I could bring a friend?"

* * *

"Hey, Vic?"

Victor turned around in the kitchen, his mouth full of the waffle he was demolishing. A slight dribble of maple syrup ran down his chin. "Mmph?"

Rachel tried not to look disgusted as she sat down next to her illustrious friend. "I just wanted to apologise if I was a bit weird last night."

The footballer swallowed his mouthful, wiping his face with a napkin and giving a broad smile. "Aw, hey, sis. You don't need to worry about it. I get it, you were around us for a long-time last night. Y'all probably needed some space, am I right?"

Rachel swallowed her guilty feelings and forced a smile and a nod. "Right. Listen, I wondered if I could ask a favour?"

"What do you need?"

"My friend Jenny is in the area and well...she wondered if she and her boyfriend could crash with us for the night."

Vic paused, chewing thoughtfully. Rachel panicked, taking his silence to be negative. "She's really great, Vic. She works with me at the youth centre and keeps an eye out for me. I know she's not technically a 'Titan' but maybe she could be an honorary one for a night?"

Victor smiled, ruffling his friend's hair affectionately. "Of course, girl. There was one spare room left over in the attic; as long as they don't mind crashing up there it's all good."

"That's...really great, Vic. Thank you."

"Big bro's gotta look out for his baby sister. You feelin' okay today?"

Rachel considered this statement. Her eyes flicked around the room. At the other end of the table Gar was sitting with Kori and Richard, talking and laughing without a care in the world. She swallowed. "I think I'm getting there."

"Good," smiled Vic, wrapping his arm around her warmly. "Sarah's been askin' after you. Uh oh, speakin' of trouble. Hey baby!"

"Well-well, if it isn't the illusive Miss Roth," came Sarah's calming tones. "How are you, Rachel?"

Rachel nodded, shifting up so that Sarah could sit down next to Victor. She spoke in a dry tone, her face impassive. "You know, still alive."

"That's...good?" replied Sarah, looking at Victor uncertainly. He roared with laughter, clapping his girlfriend on the back and planting a kiss on her cheek.

"She's only messin' with you, girl. Rachey always was the gothic one of the group."

"Gothic; is that what they call it these days?" asked Rachel, folding her arms and glaring at the large man. A small smirk was on her face. "Back then I believe it was known as 'creepy and weird'."

Sarah giggled behind her fingers, looking at Victor's changing expression. "She's got you there, Stone."

Rachel smiled as she pushed herself up from the table, touching the young woman lightly on the shoulder. "Nice to see you Sarah. I'm going to go make some tea. Thanks for helping me out, Vic. I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it, girl," replied Victor, waving her away with a smile. His expression became suddenly fatherly. "Make sure you get some food. You'll need your strength for the hike today."

Rachel nodded, and smiled warmly at Sarah before meandering into the kitchen. She flicked the kettle on, pleased that it boiled quickly. Throwing a teabag into a mug she rooted around for something she wanted to eat. There were some cereal bars in the cupboard, and she grabbed two. Shoving one into her back pocket she unwrapped the first and munched it as her tea brewed. The young woman didn't have much appetite in the mornings, but Victor was right. The last thing she needed was to pass out on the mountain. She swallowed the last crunchy mouthful and lifted her tea off the counter, spinning round in a swift motion.

"Hello, friend!" exclaimed a voice behind her. Rachel nearly spilled her tea but balanced at the last moment. She sighed in frustration.

"_Careful_, Kor. I nearly threw hot tea all over you."

"Apologies," replied the redhead, her attractive face colouring for a moment. "You are the okay?"

"I'm fine, how about you?"

"All is well," smiled Kori, brightly. Richard and I were speaking with Gar—"

Rachel's heart picked up pace, blood pounding in her ears at the mention of his name. She felt like she suddenly shrank in the large room as she waited for Kori to continue. Her friend continued obliviously, smiling widely as she spoke.

"—about the walk today. We were discussing what to put into our picnic box – tell me friend, do you have any preferences?"

"Um, n-no," stammered the young woman, still recovering from her fright. She sipped some tea to mask her reaction. "Whatever you guys decide is fine."

"Wondrous," remarked Kori, wrapping her arm around Rachel gently. "I am so glad you are feeling the okay. You appeared to be somewhat distressed upon your departure yesterday evening."

Rachel felt the colour flooding to her face. Her defences pushed up around her within a moment. She felt she had already let Kori in too much yesterday and felt suddenly vulnerable in the young woman's presence. "No, I was just tired."

Kori looked at her inquisitively but didn't push the subject any further. "Indeed. Well, I shall let you drink your tea, friend."

"Thanks, Kor."

The redhead smiled and nodded. Her green eyes were filled with questions. But blinking she turned and wandered back towards the boys slowly. Gar looked up from his conversation with Richard as Kori approached, and his eyes found Rachel's for a moment. He smiled and nodded, and she did the same.

_'There, that wasn't so bad.'_

Uncertainly, Rachel walked back towards Victor and Sarah. She felt as though she had dodged a bullet somehow and it was leaving her with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Swallowing, she spoke to the others as she walked past.

"No sign of Karen and the others yet then?"

"No, girl. They kept drinking until two. I doubt we'll see them any time soon," laughed Victor, sipping his coffee. He wrapped his arm around Sarah. "I, on the other hand, was in bed before one. Luckily for me, I've got my girl here to keep me on track."

"You mean to stop you from getting alcohol poisoning?" replied Sarah, a sarcastic smile on her face. Rachel laughed, trying to keep herself steady as she balanced her still full mug. Victor chuckled, poking Sarah on the nose childishly. Rachel nodded, approvingly.

"See you later then, I'm going to get ready for the hike. I'll be down soon."

"Alright girl, we'll leave as soon as the drunken trio make an appearance."

"So around four then?" shot back Rachel over her shoulder as she walked back towards the stairs. Victor laughed loudly, almost spilling his coffee over Sarah. Rachel shook her head and meandered back up the stairs. Putting her tea down in her room she looked out of the window. It was a beautiful view; she wished that she could always have such a wonderful outlook from her bedroom. It certainly beat the bricks and stone that she normally saw.

Sitting down on the bed, she folded her feet beneath herself. Rachel hadn't meditated since she was a teenager. But today, she certainly felt that she needed it. Her emotions were running amok inside her, and the thought of spending the day with Gar was filling her with such terror and excitement that she felt she may explode. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and exhaled. Found her centre. Let herself be.

Rachel knew it was only temporary. But perhaps, for a little while she could just will the world away.

* * *

"Alright guys," came the booming voice of Victor across their group. "So, y'all have all been given a pack with things we're gonna need for the hike. We need to stick together up there."

"Victor's right," agreed Richard, nodding. "It could be dangerous, and we don't want anyone to get hurt, so let's just keep communicating and keep ourselves safe."

"When do we eat?" asked Roy, looking distinctly paler than usual. Richard fixed him with a small glare.

"Well you _would _have eaten an hour ago if you'd not been puking your guts up in the bathroom. We'll eat when we hit the waterfall. How far is it from here, Gar?"

"About four miles," replied the young blond man, brushing his hair from his eyes. "It'll take around two hours, I'd guess."

"Okay, good. Roy, if you need a snack then speak to Kori, she has some things in her backpack."

Roy nodded then looked suddenly green. Karen slapped him on the back. "Don't worry, red. You'll be fine as long as you don't fall off the cliff."

"Blech," replied Roy, waving slightly. Malcolm grabbed him to prevent him from toppling over.

"You'll be fine buddy. Don't worry."

"So, is everyone good to go?" asked Victor, picking his pack up and tightening the straps. There were murmurs of agreement. Rachel's phone suddenly flashed with a message.

_We'll be there at around six. Enjoy your hike, sis. Whatever is going on, I know you'll be strong enough to cope until I come and bail your sorry ass out. Love you. Jen x_

Rachel smiled, typing a quick message back.

_I appreciate it, you sarcastic bitch. See you later. Love Rach x_

She checked the time before putting her phone in her pocket. It was eleven. They should be back in plenty of time for her to meet her visitors. The fact that Roy and his drinking companions had been pulled out of bed earlier than they desired was contributing to their sorry states. As if on cue, Roy ran into the hedges, an ungodly noise following him.

"Oh man, do you think maybe he should stay home?" asked Karen, striding towards Victor. She glanced at the bushes warily. "He doesn't look so good."

"It's just a hangover, Kar. He should be fine. Right, Roy?"

"Blech," repeated Roy, wiping his mouth as he reappeared. "I...I think so. Kori, you got any painkillers in that pack?"

Eventually, Roy's nausea subsided, and everyone started to move forwards up the hill. Rachel hung to the back of the group, hoping to avoid too much social interaction. She wanted a chance to enjoy the scenery. She loved the outdoors; somehow it made her feel free and alive in a way that the city never could. It was hard to explain, but she'd always felt alien to the world she found herself in, and it seemed more wonderful to her than other people. Often others thought her to be strange. Everyone except Gar.

Gar.

Her eyes drifted towards the group. He was at the front talking to Victor. They were laughing and joking as though they were sixteen years old again. It was as though nothing had happened. As though last night was a distant dream. Perhaps it didn't really happen. The young woman shook her head, forcing her eyes back to the landscape. The climb was getting steeper, and she tried to concentrate on her footing.

Before she knew it, they had arrived at the waterfall. It was just as beautiful as Gar had promised. The falls were only small, and they cascaded out from between a small crevice in the mountainside. There was a rudimentary pool that had been formed in the dark rocks, surrounded by greenery. It looked like it had come out of a Tolkien novel. Rachel loved it instantly. She breathed in awe as she circled the pool and gazed over into the dark water.

"Woah, this place is really neat, Gar!" exclaimed Karen, pulling her pack off and then reaching down to her shoes and untying them. "I'm totally dipping my feet."

"Oh yeah, me too!" came Malcolm's voice, as the two of them ran to the pool eagerly. It was clear to anyone watching that Malcolm had a soft spot for Karen. Rachel had noticed it since school. But seeing them together again, it was more evident than ever. She wondered if people ever looked at her and Gar and felt the same way. Shaking her head again to disassociate herself from such thoughts, she pulled her pack off in a discreet spot and retrieved her blanket from it.

"Y'all this is a perfect spot. Definitely worth that hike, right baby?" said Victor, getting he and Sarah set up in a quiet corner. Sarah nodded emphatically.

"It's beautiful, Gar. How did you come across it?"

"Doing a project in the mountains and I decided to explore," shrugged the young man, giving an uncharacteristically shy smile. "I'm glad you guys like it."

"We absolutely do, friend," said Kori, running over and giving him a friendly hug and kiss on the cheek. Rachel felt her gut twist in a strange way. What was that? _That_ had never happened before. Kori was always overly affectionate, and Rachel was used to it. But that jealous bite had caught her by surprise. She blinked, focusing on her own pack and getting her book and snacks out. As she worked, she pushed her walls up firmly. Malcolm and Karen had started splashing one another, and everyone was giggling loudly and chattering as they started to relax.

_'And so it begins,' _thought Rachel, smiling. She huddled herself up against a rock and opened the pages of her book. The others were all effervescent, but they faded into the background as she became enveloped in her story. After a while, Rachel noticed a shadow approaching her; the shade falling over her book's pages. Looking up, she saw those familiar eyes looking at her warily.

"So, what do you think of the 'falls, Rae?"

"They're pretty spectacular, Gar," replied the brunette, shielding her eyes from the sun as she looked up at him. "You definitely have a nose for finding these places."

"Heh, it's a talent," shrugged the young man, turning to look at the scenery slowly. Rachel could almost feel his discomfort seeping over her. It was _awkward._ She cleared her throat.

"Everything okay?"

"Oh yeah, it's the same as ever. The couples are being all lovey dovey and the drunken trio are getting drunk again."

"Make sure they don't drown," quipped Rachel, giving a small smile. Gar chuckled lightly, a small blush spreading across his freckled face. He looked handsome in the daylight Rachel realised. More handsome than she had ever perhaps appreciated before. She felt that strange emotion creeping all over her again. It was warm but frightening and the young woman didn't know what to do with it.

_'Jenny will be here soon.'_

"Do you...want to sit down?" she managed eventually, folding her legs up beneath her so there was space for him. He looked torn, shifting his weight from foot to foot. She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant despite her stomach doing backflips. "You don't have to."

"No, I do want to," Gar said, quickly. He sat on the blanket gratefully, fixing her with a strange look.

"What?" asked Rachel, slightly more aggressively than intended. Gar laughed at her, suddenly breaking the unusual atmosphere.

"Alright moody pants."

"I'm not moody!" exclaimed Rachel, gruffly. She slammed her book shut. "Take that back."

"Okay, you're not moody," replied Gar, his face turning back to the scenery. There was a smile on his face that reached his eyes. "_Grumpy_ on the other hand..."

"Logan, I am _not _grumpy!" growled Rachel, her eyes flashing fire. Gar laughed again, seemingly enjoying the fact he was getting to her. She folded her arms and glared at him. "As I recall at school you said I was _creepy_ not grumpy."

"Ouch, that was a low blow, Rae. You know I apologised for that like a million times. I was such a dumb kid; you know I didn't understand you back then."

"And you think you do _now_?" snorted Rachel, leaning back against the rock and resting her head on a ledge. "You've got a long way to go."

"Is that so?" asked Gar, turning back to look at her. He smiled more widely, a familiar cheeky glint in his eyes. "I look forward to it."

Rachel's heart started to pound again, heat pooling in her stomach. The flirting. Before it had never elicited any reaction in her but now...

Now, it was like peculiarly addictive crumbs of affection that she craved. She blinked at him, deciding to play him at his own game. "Are you _flirting _with me, Gar?"

The young man blushed, the tips of his ears turning red. "What? No!"

"You were. You were totally flirting with me," argued Rachel, feeling a sense of power in making him feel uncomfortable for a change. Gar poked her playfully, still blushing profusely.

"Shut up! Why would I flirt with you, huh?"

"Because you think I'm beautiful," countered Rachel, her eyes flashing with glory. She smirked at him. "You said so earlier."

Gar looked at her open mouthed. It was as though the comment hit him square in the chest. He looked a cross between shocked and something else that Rachel couldn't name. "Seriously, Rachel?"

"Didn't you?"

"Well, yeah. But that's not the point...I—"

"You _lost_, Logan," laughed Rachel, still enjoying the surprised look on his face. However, this time his expression shifted to being serious and she stopped her chuckling in an instant. She blinked at him, feeling a little perplexed. "Now who's the moody one?"

"I'm not moody, Rae. Just confused."

"About what?" asked Rachel, quirking her eyebrow. "I thought we were just messing around."

"We were," admitted Gar, looking back out over the rudimentary lake. He looked pensive and hurt. "But some things aren't always funny."

Rachel blinked again, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. They always teased each other! Why all of a sudden would Gar become sensitive? The young woman paused, suddenly feeling ashamed of herself as an idea dawned on her. Perhaps using his heartfelt feelings as the butt of a joke was unkind. Perhaps she had pushed it too far. Things weren't the same as yesterday, and she should have known better. Rachel reached out and touched his shoulder, guilt nipping at her.

"Gar, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I took that too far, didn't I?"

Gar glanced back towards her, leaning into her touch. His eyes were full of forgiveness. "It's okay. You know I can't stay mad at you, Rae-Rae."

An electricity passed through her body as they shared a moment. Rachel felt like she wanted to say something, but her mind was muddled. There was little time to consider this any further. A loud splash echoed around the alcove, as Roy fell into the lake. The two looked over as Victor fished the poor man out, his clothes dripping with cold water. Rachel winced. "Yikes. That's going to be cold."

"Luckily enough I told Richard to pack some spare duds. I guess I know them all too well," replied Gar amusedly, as everyone was fussing around the soaked Roy. He quickly turned towards Rachel, expression serious again. He took her hand in his softly. "I feel like I want to say something, but I know what we agreed earlier. So, I won't. But I meant what I said this morning. You _are_ beautiful."

Rachel looked at him, her eyes wide. She couldn't deny the excitement creeping over her. He'd meant it. Did that mean that last night meant more than he was letting on? The blond gently raised her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips against her knuckles. It was soft and kind, but it drove her wild inside. Her defences were the only thing in that moment holding her back from leaping at him and pressing herself against him once more. Instead, she felt tears welling in her eyes as she managed to form a few words. "Thank you."

Gar smiled, the most genuine one she had seen all day and opened his mouth as if to speak further. Suddenly, he was distracted by a buzzing sound in his pocket. Pulling his phone out, he looked at the screen with a frown. "Sorry, Rae. I've got to take this."

He looked back up at her, his face gentle and kind. "We can talk more later. Or tomorrow when we're home. Whenever you're ready, ok?"

Rachel nodded, and the young man stood to his feet and pressed his phone to his ear. "Hello?"

As Gar walked away, she stared after him. Everything inside of her felt jumbled once more. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

_'Jenny will be here soon. You can manage until then.'_

* * *

As they arrived back at the house at five, Rachel felt a sense of relief overwhelming her. She had enjoyed being out with everyone, but truthfully, she was ready for some space. She unloaded her pack and dragged the contents back to her room, closing the door firmly. But fate was not kind. Her phone screen flashed up with a message.

_Making good time. Looks like we'll be there in the next half an hour. Jx_

Rachel took a deep breath and then exhaled. She needed to go and explain to the rest of the group. So, there would be no space for meditation. For thought. For reading. Yet she couldn't complain. Jenny was coming at her behest. Dragging herself back off the bed she typed a quick message back.

_I'll be downstairs waiting for you. Rx_

Pulling her door open she trudged her way down the stairs, hearing a cacophony of noise that wouldn't have sounded out of place in the 'brats brigade' itself. Rachel rolled her eyes involuntarily. She loved all of her friends dearly. But at times they were complete and utter _morons_.

"Bet you can't drink it upside down," said Karen, folding her arms as Roy flipped into a handstand. Another ridiculous contest. They had been drinking most of the day and were steadily becoming more drunk with every passing moment. She rolled her eyes for a second time and walked past them to the kitchen to make tea. A crashing and tumbling came behind her.

"No, he can't," she muttered under her breath, as everyone laughed heartily at Roy's sprawled frame. The kettle buzzed into life, steam erupting from the spout. She poured the hot water into the mug, checking her phone again. Five fifteen. Jenny should be here any moment.

"Got to be somewhere?"

Gar was standing next to her, leaning on the side. She hadn't even heard him approach. She raised her eyebrow. "Been taking lessons from Richard?"

"Well, I've got to keep up with you both somehow," grinned the young man, his green eyes flashing in a catlike way. "So, what's with the phone checking? Everything ok?"

"Oh, yeah. Jenny's decided to drop in. She happened to be up in the mountains too this weekend," lied Rachel, feeling discomfort in her chest. Gar looked at her disbelievingly. He knew Jenny well and knew that she wouldn't be caught dead on a hike. She practically lived in her chunky heeled boots and fashionista clothes. Rachel would need to do better than that. She took a deep breath. "With her boyfriend."

Gar's eyes goggled. "Jenny has a _boyfriend_?!"

"I know," shrugged Rachel, taking a sip from her tea. "That was my reaction."

"Is it serious?" asked Gar, genuinely looking curious. All thoughts of Rachel's deceit had been long forgotten. "I mean Jen and guys don't exactly mix. That woman is a maneater."

"Hey, watch it, Logan," growled Rachel, elbowing him. But there was a resigned smile on her face. "You're not wrong though. I've never met him. Goes by the name Wally West. Apparently, he's an athlete of some kind; should have loads in common with Vic. I don't know much else about him to be honest. Jen is _super_ cagy about discussing him."

"No shit," laughed Gar, shaking his head in incredulity. "So, she's stopping overnight?"

"Vic said they can have the attic room. It's just lucky this place is so freaking huge. She'll be well behaved, I promise," added Rachel, taking another sip of her tea. She hoped that this would be true. Jenny could be wild, if the mood took her. In her youth she had been a real bad girl, by all accounts.

"It's not her I'm worried about," replied Gar, pointing to the display before them. They were now trying to hold Roy upside down and pour beer down his gullet. Rachel shook her head. Her phone suddenly rang. Jenny's name was on the screen. The young woman turned towards Gar.

"They must be here. I'll go outside and see them. I'm not sure what Vic told the others but at this point I doubt they'll even notice them coming inside."

Gar chuckled to himself. "You want me to come out with you?"

"No, I'll be okay. Just...make sure they all behave themselves ok? Jenny is important to me."

"I know, Rach," replied Gar, touching her shoulder gently. "Go and get her, I'll sort the upside-down gang out."

Rachel smiled. "Thanks Gar. Oh, hey, did you get that phone call sorted earlier?"

The young man's hand dropped from her shoulder suddenly, as though it was scalding hot. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you took that phone call earlier. I presumed it was work," replied Rachel, looking at him suspiciously. "I just wondered if you sorted it out."

"Oh! Oh, yeah. It's all cool now, heh," answered the blond, running his hand through his hair nervously. "Thanks."

Rachel eyed him warily. That behaviour was unusual even for Gar. But knowing that Jenny was outside, she decided to leave it. "Okay. See you in a minute."

The brunette placed her tea down on the side and headed for the front door. Why would Gar lie to her? What _possible_ reason could there be? She tried to be logical. Perhaps work was giving him a hard time and he was embarrassed about it. Maybe they weren't supposed to go near that waterfall today, if it was a protected area or something. Rachel didn't even know why it mattered to her that much. He was a free agent. So was she. Nothing had been discussed or decided.

She threw the door open, the cool air hitting her face. In a bright red sports car with yellow stripes, she saw the pink-haired woman waving to her jovially. As Jenny got out the car she gestured to the cabin. "Hey, nice place, Rach! Pays to have friends in high places, huh?"

Rachel shrugged, feeling more intrigued by this mystery man. Wally stepped out of the car, a shock of red spiked hair on his head. He was wearing a casual outfit; jeans and a shirt. But he was attractive, no doubt. By the car he was driving, Rachel surmised he wasn't short of a few pennies himself. "Hey Jen. And you must be Wally?"

"Oh yeah. Wally, Rachel. Rach, Wally."

The young man reached his hand out to her politely. He was a far cry from the usual 'bad boy' that Jenny had gone for in the past. He seemed wholesome, kind. His eyes creased as he smiled. "Hey, Rachel. I've heard a lot about you from Jen."

"Is that so?" smiled Rachel, taking his hand and shaking it. She grimaced. "I dread to think."

"Hey, I was nice!" exclaimed Jenny, pouting and folding her arms. "Pfft, some _gratitude_ I get for coming all this way."

"I appreciate it, Jen," replied Rachel, wrapping her arms around her friend and embracing her. "There's some stuff I need to talk to you about later. Let's go in and get you guys settled in. Luckily there was a spare room in the attic so you can have your own space."

"Spooky, I love it," grinned Jenny, grabbing Wally's arm and dragging him towards the house. "Come on, let's go."

As the door to the house reopened with the three of them, Rachel was terrified by the sound she heard. Silence. That was never a good sign. As she walked around the corner, everyone was stood looking towards the door expectantly, fixed smiles on their faces. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Gar, I said make them quiet not turn them into Stepford Wives."

"Hey Jenny," said Gar, ignoring Rachel's comment and walking towards the pair. Jenny gave him a wicked smile and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Hi gorgeous," she smarmed, winking at him. Rachel wanted to hide her face in embarrassment, although Gar's shocked expression was making up for it somewhat. "How lovely to see you again."

Rachel cleared her throat, shooting her friend a look. "Guys this is Jenny and Wally. This is Vic, Sarah, Kori, Richard, Karen, Malcolm, Roy and you already know Gar."

"So _lovely_ to meet you," smiled Jenny, acting sickly sweet. Rachel cringed. "I've seen _so _many photos of you."

"You have?" said Kori, her eyes wide and innocent. "Friend Rachel has photographs of us?"

"Oh yes, a little Titan's shrine right on the—"

"That's enough, Jen," said Wally, grabbing her elbow and smiling at the group. "Great to meet you all at last."

"You too," said Richard, taking a step towards them. "Rachel's told us a lot about you. Jenny, you work with her at the youth centre, right?"

"Ugh, do we _have _to talk about work?" groaned Jenny, looking bored beyond belief. "I thought this was supposed to be a party."

"Jenny don't be rude," whispered Rachel, elbowing her. It was strange to see her acting out like this. Jenny gave her a look, and then it hit Rachel in an instant. Jenny was _jealous_. She was jealous of all these other friends that Rachel had, when she was the one who was there for her day in and day out. Compassion swept over her and Rachel stepped forward. "Jen is probably just tired and grumpy from the journey. She's been a good friend to me, and I'm glad she's here. But she has a point; we're supposed to be on vacation. So, um..."

Rachel paused, feeling uncertain where she was going with this. She looked to Gar for help. He shrugged.

"Firepit?"

* * *

**Apologies for my delay in uploading, I've had a hectic time on the run up to Christmas. This chapter is just building some context as to Rachel's state of mind - the story will progress in the next one, I promise. Here are some replies!**

**Review replies:**

**Kairu-Blackstar:** Aww, shucks. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Kronk was absolutely right! But there might be a few hurdles for our favourite couple to come ;)

**Crystal-Koneko: **I can't help but always write Gar as a sweet guy, it's how I've always perceived him. I'm glad you approve! Hopefully this chapter moved the story forward a little for you. Thank you for your kind words!

**Mr. Urisne:** Me? Pull something? Noooo...never! ;) All I will say is that Rachel will stick to her morals, despite temptation (probably). You know I'm a sucker for a happy ending, right?

**Miss geek: **Ahh, it's almost like I'm building you all up to something...but I wouldn't be _that _mean...would I? ;) I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

**Guest:** We all love a bit of drama! I'm afraid I don't write lemons. There are many wonderful authors of such fics here, but I'm not one of them. I simply cannot write it! Glad you enjoyed it, anyway :)

**AWESOMEROCKSTAR101:** Lol, doing the do was only part of the story, but a good part nonetheless ;) I'm happy you enjoyed, stick around for more!

**Sybil of Cumae:** Aw, sorry to disappoint you bud. I don't write lemons I'm afraid. There are some wonderful authors of it though, including my good pal MelissaVampGrrl that this fic is dedicated to. But I do hope you stick around for the rest of the story anyway! :)

**Golem XIV: **Silly Rae! Always overthinking things! Can't she just accept she and Gar are meant to be together?! I mean, no she can't otherwise the story would be over...but still! :D Haha, glad you enjoyed the chapter as ever :)

**Sanzojoe: **Aw, thank you! So glad you're enjoying :) Yes, that may be important later on - well noted!


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Where the heck have I been? Well, it's been a crazy few months. Our family has been through the mill and I've been working through a bereavement and then things have been stressful at work. And now...well the UK is in chaos with COVID-19. I've taken a week off work and am isolating. So naturally, here I am ready to cheer us all up with the end of Everything Has Changed. I'll keep regularly updating it now until it's finished and then I've got some more stories for you. **

**I just wanted to add, I do hope you're all keeping safe. These are crazy times and we need to look out for one another. As ever, drop a review and let me know how you're doing! Review replies (very belated) at the end. Enjoy and keep smiling :)**

* * *

**Chapter seven**

The fire was more impressive than the previous evening. It seemed everyone had gotten the hang of how to set it up to get the best flame. Rachel and Jenny sat huddled together under a blanket, looking over at the others drinking and laughing together. Wally was chatting to Richard, Kori and Gar as though they were old friends, and the others were up to their usual antics.

"Sorry I acted like a jerk before," said Jenny suddenly. Rachel looked at her.

"Don't worry about it. I get it."

"You...do?" asked Jenny, looking genuinely surprised. Rachel nodded and looked down at her hands.

"You deal with my shit every day. You're there for me through Wilson's rants, the brat brigade and beyond. I haven't seen these guys for over a year and I'm acting like the sun shines out of their backsides," she began, quietly. Her blue eyes flicked back up towards the shenanigans that were occurring on the other side of the pit. She gestured towards them. "As you can see, they are far from perfect."

Jenny snorted. "Yeah, that's totally not how you build a beer bong."

Rachel laughed then shook her head, trying to stay with her thoughts. "The point is they're important to me, Jen. But then so are you. One doesn't outweigh the other, you know what I mean?"

Jenny paused, fiddling with the edge of the blanket awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess so. I just never had a group of friends like this at school. Hell, I wasn't _at _school most of the time. I guess you're right. I was jealous and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I need you here, Jenny. The fact you aren't part of the group makes it even more important."

Jenny quirked an eyebrow, looking over towards her friend. "Why, what's happened?"

Rachel sighed, feeling defeated. "I needed to tell someone what happened yesterday. I need someone to tell me what to do, because I'm so confused right now, I feel like I might explode."

Jenny twisted, the blanket falling from her shoulders. Her usually jovial expression had vanished and was replaced by a more serious one. "What's happened, sis? Tell me."

Rachel glanced around them, to ensure everyone was busy. Jenny did the same before huddling closer. Rachel whispered beneath her breath. "Something might have...kind of...happened between me and Gar."

"WHAT!" exclaimed Jenny, loudly. Rachel smacked her hand across her friends mouth and anxiously looked at the others. No one appeared to have noticed. Her friend's eyes were still wide with surprise, despite the hand firmly clamped to her mouth. Rachel fixed her with a glare.

"If I take my hand away and talk this through with you then you _have _to be quiet," hissed the brunette, firmly. "I've not told anyone, Jen. He and I haven't even talked about it yet, I'm trusting you to help me work through this, okay? So please. Can you be quiet?"

The pink pigtails bobbed as Jenny confirmed her friend's wishes. Rachel pulled her hand away from Jen's mouth slowly. The young woman breathed in shock. "What the hell, Rach? I thought you guys were friends. What happened to 'he's not flirting' and 'that's just the way we are'?"

"I know, I know. I'm not sure," replied Rachel, putting her head in her hands. "It's all a big mess."

Jenny let out a loud exhalation. "Look, I'm sure we can work this out. But you gotta tell me everything. I know how cagy you are about all this stuff, Rachel, but it has to come out. What in the hell is going on?"

Rachel sighed. She knew Jenny was right. In order to work through it, she needed to be honest about everything. All of it. However painful. She groaned. "Goddamnit, I hate it when you're right."

Jenny gave a sly smile. "Happens more often than you realise."

Rachel sighed again, running her hands through her long dark hair. She glanced anxiously towards the others again, but no one had changed position. It was now or never. "Okay, here we go. So, I've told you all about my childhood and my father so you know some of the story."

"Right, Daddy was a real demon and Mommy was dead."

"Thanks for being so sensitive and empathic with your words," said Rachel, shaking her head at her friend's clinical nature. Jenny shrugged and gestured for her to continue. "As you so eloquently put it, life at home sucked. But I found comfort at school with my friends. I met Richard first; we'd known each other since we were much younger, and we reconnected at middle school. Vic came onto the scene at that point and he and Richard were combative for a while. But eventually they became the best of friends, and so did we. The Stone family were very understanding of my situation; I can't count the amount of times they gave me shelter and food."

"Wow, that's pretty nice. Wish _I'd_ had a rich family looking out for me," stated Jenny, dryly. Rachel gave her a sidelong glare, but she was smiling.

"Anyway, Kori joined when we were a little older and Richard fell for her straight away. It was a weird feeling having Rich that crazy over someone else and for a while I thought I might have been jealous. But then I realised, I was only jealous of what they had. Richard is like a brother to me. So, Kori and I became close, and the five of us..."

"The _five _of you?" interrupted Jenny, tapping Rachel on the temple. "Come on sweetie, even I can count to five. Richard, Vic, Kori, plus you. That makes _four."_

Rachel fell silent. She paused for a moment then shook her head slowly. "To be honest, I think I blanked out meeting Gar. Initially I did it to keep myself safe but when Kori and I spoke yesterday I realised something. I had actually supressed it."

"As in you couldn't remember?"

"As in I didn't want to remember," shrugged Rachel, rubbing her arm awkwardly. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I think somehow I'd managed to bury my emotions and memories so deeply, I actually _believed _they didn't happen. How weird is that?"

"Woah," breathed Jenny, shaking her pink pigtails and rubbing her chin. "That's deep, sis."

"When Kori and I talked things through, it was like a cork coming out of a bottle. Suddenly, I remembered it all. Every last detail. Now I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it again. Not now that everything has...well, _happened_."

"So, what had you buried? I gotta know now!" exclaimed the pink-haired woman, excitedly. "It's like some drama or something."

"You're so thoughtful at times it astounds me," growled Rachel sarcastically, feeling even more awkward about the situation. Jenny wrapped her arm around her friend.

"Look, I'm trying to lighten the mood here, Rach. You know that you're dark and moody all the time. If I was the same then we'd both end up jumping into that firepit or something, whilst wailing and crying about a kingdom by the sea."

Rachel snorted. "I guess you're right. Well, I guess I've gone this far. I might as well tell you the rest. But _please_ remember that this was the Rachel of twelve years ago, okay? I was an idiot back then."

"What do you mean 'back then'?! OW!" exclaimed Jenny, as Rachel's elbow found her rib. "Alright, alright. I get it, you were a dumb kid, sheesh."

"I first met Gar in the library of all places. He was always chattering on about some fact or other to do with nature. He was obsessed, in awe of it all somehow. At first, he drove me nuts. I was trying to sit quietly, engrossed in my novel and then _BAM_. There he was, every single day like clockwork. Disturbing me, making a nuisance of himself. I had to restrain myself from attacking him on more than one occasion just to shut the kid up. But then, things changed. I realised that he was trying to make me smile. Trying to make us friends, to get me talking. To build trust. He actually cared; for no reason other than he was a nice person. It was different with Vic and Kori; they came through Richard. Gar was _my_ friend first, you know?"

"I can see what you mean. So, you introduced him to the rest?"

"Eventually. He and Vic became close straight away – despite their differences they have loads in common. Mostly those dumb video games, but hell they clicked. Rich and Gar didn't see eye to eye at first. I guess that's because Richard's too much like me. But now...well, I know they would take a bullet for each other. We were all so close. Others came into the group, but it was never _quite _the same. Then..."

"What, you all fall out or something?"

"Not exactly," shrugged Rachel. Her eyes were firmly staring at the fire, almost as though she was telling the story in a trance-like state. "I started to get weird feelings towards Gar. It was as though started to feel strongly towards him. Like how Richard and Kori felt about each other. Liking him but more than friends."

"You mean you got a crush on him?" laughed Jenny, amused by the way her friend was evading the subject. Her trance broken, Rachel turned towards the woman, her face like thunder.

"More than friends," she reiterated, folding her arms grumpily. She turned back to the fire and continued. "He made me feel like I was special. Like I wasn't weird or creepy. No, that's wrong. He _knew _I was weird and creepy but liked me anyway. It was nice; I'd never felt like that before. So, I confided in Kori about it, and she convinced me that Gar must feel the same way. I wasn't sure, and I was too scared to say anything. But it didn't come to that because it was too late."

"Dun dun dun!"

"Jenny, I could still throw _you _in the firepit, you know."

"Alright, alright! Carry on."

"Gar started seeing someone else. I...struggled," managed Rachel, twisting her hands awkwardly. She felt some tears coming to her eyes. "Tara was the new girl in school. She and I didn't see eye to eye, right from the get-go. But...Gar couldn't see it. He just _couldn't _see it at all. He liked her, and they got closer over the months. Tara didn't like mine and Gar's relationship one bit. So, the worst happened. He chose her over me."

Jenny's face softened, crumpled with a little pain. "Ouch."

"Ouch," agreed Rachel, shifting her weight around. "Tara ultimately infiltrated the group. But I never trusted her. I knew there was something off about her. I know what you're thinking; of course I wouldn't like her. But it was more than that. She was shifty and deceitful."

Rachel stopped and sighed. "Jen, I gotta tell you, this was one occasion where I hated being right. It turned out she was sleeping with one of the teachers at the school and she got transferred. Gar was devastated. He'd fallen so hard. So, I did the only thing I could do."

"Buried the past and played the role of best friend?"

Rachel gave a grim smile. "Was it really that obvious?"

"Duh," replied Jenny, a small smile on her face. "You really care about him, huh?"

"I did. I do," amended Rachel, her eyes faltering. She sniffed and looked back at the fire. "I'd buried it so deeply that playing the role of best friend became normal. So normal that the idea of anything else seemed strange."

"Yeah, I can see that. Also, dangerous."

Rachel tilted her head, looking at her friend sidelong. "Dangerous?"

"Well _yeah. _I mean, once bitten twice shy, right? You probably were too scared to do anything in case he hurt you again."

Rachel paused, thinking about her friend's words. She couldn't deny it, she had just never acknowledged it before. It would explain many of her conflicting feelings. "I guess you're right. But it didn't matter because we all finished school and headed for college. And you know what happened next."

"Mal," sighed Jenny, placing her hand on Rachel's shoulder gently and giving a squeeze. "You met Mal."

"I met Mal," nodded Rachel, tucking her knees up to her chin. "He was _so_ charming. He swept me off my feet. Made me feel like a princess. But it was all manipulation. I was only a puppet to him, just as I had been to my father. It was like history repeating itself all over again. For the time I was with him, Mal didn't let me have any other friends. I lost contact with all of them. Every single Titan. They tried, believe me. But he always blocked them at every turn. Even Gar. Especially Gar."

"Really?" asked Jenny, surprised at the level of emotional abuse her friend had endured. Rachel had only ever spoken briefly about Mal in the past and Jenny had known he had been unpleasant, but she realised now the damage that had been done. "I'm sorry that happened to you, Rach."

"Me too," sighed Rachel, shrugging her shoulders in defeat. "I think Mal knew on some level that Gar was the only one who would get through to me. And one day, he did. All of them did. They turned up on my doorstep and staged an intervention. Mal showed his true colours that day and they all stood up for me; each and every one of them. They rescued me. I fell into a pretty deep depression for a while after, but Gar talked me round. We were closer than ever. It's been that way ever since. But nothing more."

"So, you guys never crossed the line?"

"Never ever," answered the brunette, honestly. "Just best friends. He and Tara danced their dance over the years, and I was there for him. I fell into a few men's beds, but it never progressed. I never _wanted_ it to progress. After Mal I was sworn off relationships for life."

"Understandably," said Jenny, empathy lining her voice. "What an asshole."

"Yeah. He was. But he won," replied Rachel, her voice suddenly small. "He got what he wanted. I never dated anyone else, so in some sick way I'll always be his."

"That's not true, sis," shot back Jenny, her voice firm. "Look, you can't bounce back from trauma like that. I know, believe me. You know my record for relationships ain't the best."

"Hey, you said it, not me."

"Well it's true. I'm not embarrassed to admit it. I don't like feeling that I'm not in control, you know? Everyone always controlled me before. I said, never again. I mean, I know I act tough, Rach. But deep down I was scared, just like you. Then Wally..."

The pink-haired woman trailed off, her eyes wandering into his direction. A strange smile came over her. "He's different. He treats me right. Like you said about Gar, he likes me not despite my flaws but _because_ of them."

"You really like him, don't you?" said Rachel, resting her elbow on her knee. Jenny's face became red, and her defences rose so quickly it was almost palpable.

"Yeah, well. I mean, he's okay or whatever. It's still early days."

"Come on, we're having a moment here."

"If you say so," replied Jenny, folding her arms and wrinkling her nose childishly. "As I recall we weren't talking about _me_."

"As I recall, I never brought your relationship up."

"Hmph," grumbled Jenny, defeated at last. "Fine. Well, whatever. Carry on."

"I mean, that's pretty much it. Up until the present day. We moved in together as friends and..."

Rachel trailed off. She didn't know how to explain the next part to her friend. It was delicate. It was a memory that left her feeling vulnerable and unsure. She didn't want to be judged. To be—

"You banged him, didn't you?"

Rachel rolled her eyes so hard they nearly popped out of her skull. "_Really,_ Jenny?"

"Oh, alright, fine. Made love, slept with, had relations. Copulated, fornicated, were _intimate._"

"Jesus, Jenny. How many synonyms for sex do you know?"

"I've never counted," grinned Jenny, wickedly. "But quite a few."

Rachel laughed; her friends obnoxious, insensitive patter had once again broken the ice. "I really don't know how to answer that."

"Well? Did you or didn't you?"

Rachel paused. She was being truthful, after all. "Yes. We did."

"I _knew _it!" exclaimed the pink-haired woman, brightly. "So, what are you guys together now or what? Ooh, we could do double dates!"

"Woah, slow down there," protested Rachel, feeling a bit sick at the idea. "Nothing's been decided. That's why you're here."

Jenny blinked at her blankly for a few beats. "You wanted relationship advice...from _me_?!"

"Don't look so surprised," replied Rachel, playing with her dark hair. "I don't know what to do, Jen. I don't want to ruin our friendship; it's a massive risk and I'm not even sure it's what I want. But..."

"But what?"

"Ugh, I don't know. I guess it _is_ what I want at the same time."

"You are a walking contradiction, Rach. You know that?"

"I do," admitted Rachel, putting her head in her hands again. "He's being so nice about it even now. He said that I meant a lot to him. But if last night was all it was to be then he respected me enough to let it go."

"Wow. He's definitely a keeper."

"What do you mean?"

"Girl, are you for real?" asked Jenny, her eyes wide. She sighed deeply. "Huh, and I thought _I_ was bad at this stuff. Okay, let's break it down here. You guys have been best friends forever. Then, the barrier was crossed in a way that I'm guessing was consensual and happy, right?"

"Yeah, that's fair."

"Then he doesn't do anything to freak you out, like confess his endless love or put pressure on you. Knowing how you might react he puts the power in your hands to decide. Don't you see it?"

"Um, no?" replied Rachel, quirking her eyebrow in curiosity. "What are you getting at?"

"He was trying to be the _opposite _of Mal. He was letting you have the power to decide. Showing his respect. Showing he wouldn't hurt you. Because he clearly cares about you as more than just a one-night stand. Make sense?"

Rachel listened to her friend's words, a pensive look on her face. Actually, it made a lot of sense. Gar was really messed up over her relationship with Mal. He didn't like to talk about it, because somehow he held himself personally responsible for Rachel getting hurt. The brunette felt shame creeping over her. How could she not have seen this on her own? The words would not come to her head quickly enough. "Oh."

"Yeah, you really _are _an idiot."

"So, what do I do now?"

"Don't ask me! Ask yourself. What do you want to do?"

Rachel looked at Jenny's inquisitive face. She felt unsure about the whole situation, even at this juncture. But part of her wanted to try. She wanted to explore these feelings. And another part of her knew that she couldn't go back. That settled it; she needed to talk to Gar.

"Tomorrow," smiled Rachel, staring into the fire with more purpose. "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

* * *

The evening had played out just as Rachel had imagined and she fell into bed feeling exhausted. There was a strange twist in her stomach as she glanced over her shoulder and remembered the person who had shared the bed with her the previous evening.

Gar.

Everything seemed clearer since her conversation with Jenny. She wanted to try and make this work, somehow. She needed to tell him the truth about everything. Rachel closed her eyes, pulling the comforter closer to her face and trying to drift into sleep. It wasn't long before troubled dreams clouded her mind.

_"You'll never be anything," came a dark voice that she recognised well. "You're pathetic – a waste of space. I wish you'd never been born."_

_SMACK._

_Rachel reeled backwards, sprawling on the floor. She looked at her torn clothes and the unfamiliar place she used to call 'home'. Her father advanced towards her, his amber eyes flashing menacingly. "You make me sick, Rachel. All of this is your fault. Your mother's death, it's **your fault**."_

_"No," Rachel found herself whispering, although a nagging feeling in her told her this wasn't real. "Please."_

_"You wretched, pitiful child. Get up."_

_"No..."_

_"Get up and face me," growled her father, looming over her like a great presence. The young girl scrambled to her feet, clutching herself in fear. His voice softened but it was laced with a sweetness that made it feel sinister. "Good girl, Rachel."_

_She winced, as he came closer to her face, twisting herself away from his grasp. Her breath was rasping, her face stinging with the pain of his attack. Her father gripped her chin and turned her roughly to face him. He had a smirk on his face that was demonic. "No one will ever love you. You are unlovable. You are worthless."_

_Tears were streaming down her face, as she stared at him wordlessly and defiantly. His words rippled over her, making her feel nauseous. Then, a sudden strength came within her. She pushed him backwards hard. "NO!"_

_The man tumbled, falling backwards. He laughed maniacally, staring up at her with his unnaturally glowing eyes. Rachel advanced, feeling her anger bubbling within. "My friends think I'm worth something. They love me for who I am."_

_"You believe them, how sad."_

_"I believe that the only worthless person here is **you**. You are a waste of space and a waste of time and..."_

_Rachel paused, looking down at her fuzzy hands. She blinked and took a deep breath._

_"And this isn't real. I want to wake up now. You've taken up enough of my time, father."_

_"Rachel, wait—"_

_"Goodbye," replied the girl, turning and walking towards the door. The scene faded and filtered away until it was black._

Rachel's eyes fluttered open as daylight streamed into her small room. She looked urgently down at her hands. They were solid, and as she laced her fingers together to double check, she realised that it really had all been a dream. A dream that she had experienced several times; although the ending was usually different. Not this time. Not ever again.

"Bastard," she grumbled, burying her head into the pillow. "I won't let you do this to me anymore."

Pushing the covers away and rising to her feet, she walked to the window. Although the sun was up, Rachel could tell that it was early. She adjusted her eyes to the light, and saw a silhouette sitting outside looking across the scenery.

"Gar," she muttered, her fingers lightly brushing the window. She scrunched her face up, wondering why he was awake at this hour. Sighing, she decided that now was as good a time as any to take the plunge and started to pull on her jeans. She needed to show her father once and for all that the past was over. She needed to show herself that she was capable of something more. Worth something more. Taking a deep breath, she padded to her door and slipped into the still dark corridor.

* * *

"Gar?"

The young blond jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. He turned, his green eyes locking onto hers. A warm smile crept over his features. "Oh, morning Rae. You startled me."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," replied the brunette, pushing her hair out of her eyes and awkwardly rubbing her arm. "I can go back in if you want to be alone."

"No, don't be silly. Come and sit down," replied Garfield, patting the empty seat beside him on the bench. "It's beautiful here at this time of day."

Rachel wrapped her coat around herself and gently perched next to him. She allowed herself a moment to scan the landscape. The rays of the morning sunshine were kissing the foliage; lighting up various points and leaving others in shade. A small rabbit was chewing the grass at the end of the garden and the birds were proudly singing their morning chorus. Her breath blew white wisps; the air was still cool despite the sun's presence.

"You're up early," said Gar, suddenly. His eyes were still fixed on the backdrop, but there was a concern in his voice. "Well, earlier than usual. Everything okay?"

"Bad dream," replied Rachel, honestly. She shrugged, pulling her coat round her tighter still. "I could say the same to you."

"Couldn't sleep," replied the young man, running a hand through his messy blond curls. "Too much on my mind."

"Like what?" asked Rachel, curiosity getting the best of her. Gar laughed and turned to look at her.

"I think you might have a pretty good idea."

Rachel snorted lightly, her eyes faltering to look down at her hands. "Sorry we didn't speak much yesterday."

"It's fine. I guessed it might be a bit difficult with everyone around," admitted Garfield, his green eyes flashing in the morning sunshine. "When Jen and Wally showed up, I guessed we wouldn't get any time alone. Besides, you said needed time to think and I wanted to give you that space."

"Thank you, I did," nodded the young woman, her eyes still fixed on her pale fingers. "But I still feel like I left you hanging."

"A little, but it's okay. Honestly. We don't have to talk about it yet, if you don't want to."

"I _do_ want to," sighed Rachel, her blue eyes flickering back upwards. She bit her lip, suddenly tense. "If you still want to, that is."

"Of course," smiled Gar, his lopsided grin making her stomach melt suddenly. How had she forgotten how handsome he was? She tried to clear her mind. She knew she needed clarity in this moment. He was staring at her evenly, waiting patiently. "You want to go first?"

"Not really, but I will. You told me that what happened between us meant a lot to you."

"It did," nodded Gar, his eyes filled with questions. But he allowed her to speak, trying to sit tolerantly by her side. She smiled at him gratefully before continuing.

"Well, it meant a lot to me too. More than a lot, actually."

Rachel paused, biting her lip and staring at him imploringly. "I think that, on reflection, I may have...have some feelings for you. Beyond friendship."

Gar tilted his head, a warm smile still on his face. Rachel could feel heat creeping up her neck, a strange sense of shame at her admission. It was as though it was wrong somehow. The memory of him being her best friend and nothing more was still pushing its way forward in her mind. But she needed to do this.

"It's just that I'm not...I'm not great at all this stuff. Not since..."

The young woman trailed off, her hands finding her eyes as she tried to push back the tears. She centred herself, pushing the words out before she lost them. "Not ever really. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm complicated. I'm not sure I'm cut out for relationships."

"Rachel."

His voice was like a soft blanket wrapping around her, soothing her soul. She pulled her hands away and looked at him. His eyes were filled with kindness and compassion. "It's not a surprise that you struggle with relationships, you know. You've been through a lot. But saying you're not cut out for them is nonsense."

"Gar—"

"I'm not saying that because of the other night; what happens here does not change on what I'm about to say. You can't shut yourself off from happiness just because of what happened in the past, no matter how terrible. You deserve to be happy, Rae. You deserve it more than anyone else I know."

He paused, shaking his head as though he was in disbelief that she couldn't see it for herself.

"Despite everything you've been through, you're still here. You're still standing tall; a survivor. You've beaten the odds to get here today, and now you've dedicated your life to trying to support others that are going through that same shit you did. Do you even _realise_ how amazing you are?"

"I'm not amazing," countered Rachel, her cheeks burning at his words. She shook her head; she didn't cope well with compliments. "I'm just me, Gar."

"And _you _are special. I know it, Rach. Even if you can't see it. And all of those people in there," Gar paused, gesturing to the house. "They know it too. That's why we all love you. Because you're just you. That's enough. Being you is enough for us."

Rachel smiled, feeling the warmth of his affection radiating towards her. "You're all crazy. Especially you, Logan."

"Maybe. But I can live with that," grinned Garfield, his wonky tooth protruding as it always did when he gave a wide smile. "What I can't live with is not having you in my life. Whether you want to discuss what's gone on between us or whether you want to go back to normal...I don't care. I just _want_ you in my life. I need you, Rachel."

Her heart fluttered at his words, her inhibitions suddenly melting away. "Do you mean that?"

Gar reached out, his hand tenderly grazing her cheek as he tucked her dark hair behind her ear. "With every single fibre of my being."

Rachel nuzzled into his hand, enjoying the warmth of his touch. Everything felt so right, so balanced in the world. Something this right couldn't be bad, could it?

To hell with it all.

In that moment, the young woman wanted to throw caution to the wind. She had spent too long trying to work this out, her instincts were screaming at her to take control. Her eyes found his and she tried to convey everything she felt without words. She was sick of words anyway.

Gar's eyes creased at the corners as he smiled, understanding lighting his face. Rachel leaned forward, her nose brushing his gently. Her breath still wisped white air as her mouth pressed slowly towards his. His lips felt warm, despite the cool air around them. Her arms wrapped around his neck as Gar pulled her closer to him. Time seemed to tick to a standstill as they truly found each other for the first time.

Rachel tilted forward, her mouth waving near his; her blue eyes asking for permission. Gar responded immediately, kissing her so gently and sweetly she thought that her soul might set alight. It wasn't as fervent or passionate as the night they had spent together, but it conveyed so much more. All of the fear, the apprehension melted away in his arms. Rachel knew in that moment it was where she was meant to be. Where she wanted to be. And she never wanted to let go.

They spent some time locked in each other's embrace, watching the sun rise high into the sky. As the air warmed, they quietly decided to return to the house. Rachel felt she was walking on the clouds rather than the grass below her. It was as though she was sixteen again; her emotions felt so rampant and wild. She swallowed, looking at him sidelong. Gar sensed her eyes on him and turned to look at her. He smiled, his hand brushing hers and then finding her fingers. Rachel's heart leapt as he entwined their fingers together. Forget the clouds, it was as though she could soar into outer space and beyond.

She returned his smile, squeezing his hand tightly. There was still so much to say, so much to share. But that moment had been so precious and so special. She wanted to treasure every second of it.

The kitchen was silent; the others clearly hadn't stirred yet. Rachel routinely walked to the kettle and flicked it on. Gar sat on the stool, watching her automatic movements with fascination. She turned, noticing he was staring at her as she poured the water onto the bag. Her cheeks coloured almost instantly. "What?"

"Nothing," he replied, a bemused expression on his face. "It's just...everything looks different this morning."

Rachel snorted lightly, putting the kettle down and lifting her mug dramatically. "I'm still the same old me."

Gar smiled wider. "Yeah, I know."

Rachel raised her eyebrow at him inquisitively as she sat down opposite him. Gar's hand moved towards hers again, his thumb absently running back and forth over her knuckles. She blinked, her eyes full of excitement and fear. This was really happening, he wanted this too. Could they really make it work? Suddenly, there still seemed a lot to say. Rachel licked her lips anxiously.

"Gar—"

"Morning guys," came a voice from the doorway, as Richard rounded the corner into the kitchen. Gar moved his hand away gently, trying to make it look natural.

"Morning, dude!"

"You're up early," said Richard, gesturing to them both. His eyebrow raised, curiously. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," replied Rachel, catching Garfield's eye. He was still smiling at her in that strange way. She blinked and turned back towards Richard. "Yeah, everything's fine."

Richard paused, looking between the two of them as though he wanted to say something. But he seemed to think better of it and shook his head, before walking to the coffee machine and flicking it on. Rachel giggled behind her fingers, as Gar winked at her conspiratorially. They didn't need to tell anyone yet. She wanted to savour this feeling for a little while longer. Suddenly there was a buzzing noise. The blond looked down to his phone screen and scowled. "Ugh. Sorry, I have to take this."

Rachel looked at him curiously. Who would be phoning at this time in the morning? It was barely after eight on a Sunday. Surely not work _again_? Bravery overtook her, and the question erupted from her mouth quietly. "Who's calling?"

Gar looked up at her in surprise, his mind trying to catch up. His expression hardened, abruptly. "It's just work."

"On a Sunday?"

"Yeah," nodded Gar, his tone brief and clinical. He stood to his feet and started walking back towards the garden. "Excuse me, guys. I'll be right back."

Rachel felt her stomach twist slightly, a nausea overwhelming her. Why was he lying to her? She could sense that he was. It seemed even more of a betrayal given what had happened not hours ago. But she knew she needed to trust him. Sighing, she looked down into her steaming mug and sat quietly. Richard took a seat next to her. His hand found her shoulder and he squeezed.

"I'm sure he won't be long," he reassured, quietly. "You sure you're okay, Rach?"

Rachel closed her eyes and nodded. "I'm fine, Rich."

"Listen, you know you can always talk to me? I'm always here for you," Richard continued, his calm tones washing over her. "Kori too."

Rachel looked at him, her blue eyes shining with gratitude. "I know you are. But I'm honestly fine. I think I'm just overthinking things, as usual."

* * *

**Replies:**

**Kairu-Blackstar: Lots of Jinx for you in this chapter. I've enjoyed writing a Raven/Jinx friendship, different for me as I'm usually all about Raven/Starfire friendship! Glad you're enjoying it!**

**GolemXIV: Oh you do, do you? Well we shall see... :) I hope I haven't left you waiting for too long - more content on the way, promise! Thanks as ever for being generally all round awesome.**

**AwesomeRockstar101: Aww, shucks. I hope you're still reading and you enjoy!**

**Miss Geek: I'm all about the drama, but a sucker for a happy ending! :D**

**Anonymoose: Thanks so much. I'm sorry I left you dangling but life needed me. I'm back now, promise and have tons more content for you.**

**Bloop: Hope you enjoyed! :D**

**Guest: Ahh, we shall see if you're right :D Jen and Wally need their own series! Maybe I'll write a special ending chapter for you about them. Watch this space!**

**RavenOfAzarath02: Sweet and frustrating - I like it! Angsty til I die, haha. Hope you enjoy and keep reading!**

**Wiceriene: I know *hangs head in shame* I've been absent. But I promise I'm back and it will be finished! I got you, promise! :D**

**Just a general comment to say thank you all for your continued patience, if you're still here! Regular updates will resume :)**

**-Chibi**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys - back as promised! Thanks for the kind reviews, the replies are at the end. How you all holding up? Thankfully my family and I are still staying safe. Thinking of you all - here's a chapter to cheer your day. Buckle up, it's a biggie.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe.**

* * *

**Chapter eight**

Everyone was gathered in the garden for a final goodbye breakfast. Rachel was suddenly hit with a deep grief that she probably wouldn't see everyone together like this again for some time. She paused, wondering how different things would be the next time that they all met. Everyone was gathered around the firepit, although it wasn't lit, eating and talking amicably. Suddenly, someone cleared their throat.

Rachel turned; her tea in her hand, the steam steadily rising. Richard was standing up and looking unusually uncomfortable. The young woman cocked her head, her blue eyes narrowing at his actions. He cleared his throat again, another sure sign that he was nervous. All of the 'Titan' group were looking up at him curiously.

"So, before we go there was just one thing I wanted to do. We've all been friends since we were kids," began the young man, his voice wavering slightly. He straightened himself, trying to hide his anxiety. "But now we're adults. I have to say that spending the weekend with all of you reminded me how much I still value each and every one of you."

He smiled, eyes roaming around the group until they landed on Kori. She beamed at him, her face full of love and happiness at his words. It was clear she shared his sentiments. Richard continued, eyes never leaving hers. "Kori, we've been together now for ten years. I can't believe that you put up with me for that long."

"Neither can we," shouted Karen, the rest of the group descending into chaos. Rachel chuckled lightly behind her fingers and placed her tea down, as Richard's face reddened slightly.

"Thanks for your support guys," he muttered, a smile on his own face. "But seriously. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. So, I wanted to ask you something now, in front of all of the people we love most in the world."

Rachel felt her stomach twist, his anxiety seeping across to her. She watched dumbstruck as he dropped to one knee and produced a box from his pocket. Sweat was beading his hairline, as he looked imploringly at the redheaded woman. Her eyes were so wide and glittering they looked like jewels in the sunlight.

"Will you marry me, Kor?"

Kori launched herself at the man, knocking him clean over and landing on top of him. She was crying and giggling all at once, kissing him over and over. Eventually, she opened her eyes, a wide grin on her beautiful face.

"Yes, Richard. I will marry you!"

Rachel smiled, folding her arms and leaning against the nearby wall as everyone cheered and hugged each other. Gar wandered over, a deep toothy grin on his face. He leaned next to her, giving her a slight nudge with his elbow. Rachel raised her eyebrows at him, a small smile still on her face. Their eyes met for a moment, but Gar hesitated, as though he wanted to say something.

"What?" said Rachel, nudging him back. There was a strange knot in her stomach that she just couldn't shift. Gar bit his lip, his green eyes hazing over. Rachel swallowed, her throat feeling suddenly dry. "Aren't you happy for them, Gar?"

"Of course I am, Rae!" exclaimed the young man, his voice becoming unstuck for a moment. He paused, running his hand through his hair and taking a deep breath. "There's just...there's something I want to talk to you about."

Rachel's heart began to thump in her chest. Was this about the phone-call earlier? Maybe something was wrong...maybe he'd changed his mind about what had happened.

Maybe he didn't want to be with her after all.

"Did I...do something wrong?" managed Rachel, her voice shaking slightly. There was a strange humming behind her ears that was contrasting with the excitement of their friends. It was making her feel dizzy. Gar's eyes widened, with a sudden realisation of the young woman's words.

"No! Rachel, you didn't do anything wrong. This is about me," Gar began, taking her hand lightly in his own. Rachel felt a strange conflict of emotions; elation at his touch but a deep fear at his words.

"Then what—"

"It's difficult to explain," interrupted Gar, his eyes faltering and falling to the floor. "I wanted to try, but maybe this isn't the right place."

Rachel glanced over at the celebrating couple and suddenly came back to reality with a bump. "Oh. Right."

"Sorry, Rach. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's fine," mumbled the brunette, retracting her hand from his a little more sharply than she had intended. "You're right. We need to be there for them now."

"Yeah," agreed Gar, looking a little awkward at her unexpected change in tone. He blinked at her. "So...when we get home then?"

Rachel felt her heart starting to pound again. She pulled her barriers up abruptly, folding her arms again and nodding. "Yeah, okay. When we get home."

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Why had she let herself be vulnerable again? This relationship business...it wasn't for her. Maybe she had made a mistake. Perhaps it was better left alone.

Before her thoughts could continue to unravel, she made eye contact with Kori. The redhead let out a sudden squeal and rushed towards her friend. Rachel managed to unfurl her arms at the last moment as she was slammed against the brick wall. Her breath left her lungs, and a few tears leaked from her eyes. She wasn't certain whether they were in happiness or sorrow.

"Congratulations, Kor," she said, gently rubbing her hands up and down her friend's back. "I'm so happy for you both."

"Friend is it not wondrous?" replied Kori, her voice muffled by Rachel's hair. She pulled away; eyes gleaming brightly, tears brimming at the surface. As their eyes met, Rachel felt her spirits lifting. It was nice to sap some of Kori's happiness for a few moments. The young woman let it wash over her, tucking a strand of hair behind Kori's ear.

"Totally wondrous," agreed Rachel, still smiling. Kori beamed so widely, her eyes all but vanished. Richard had appeared at their side and wrapped his arms around them both. Rachel reached over, giving her oldest friend a rudimentary sideways hug. His deep voice tickled her ear as he whispered.

"Everything ok? You look upset."

"Fine, Rich. Just happy for you guys."

As they pulled away from their embrace, his blue eyes looked at her imploringly. It was clear that he didn't believe what she had said, and concern lined his face for a moment. Rachel tried to give a reassuring smile, but it came out more like a grimace. Her intense stare signalled one statement clearly.

_'Don't you dare ask again.'_

Richard nodded in return; he knew Rachel well enough to know when to back off. But he squeezed her arm reassuringly and smiled once more to communicate his own non-verbal response.

_'You know where I am.'_

"Oh friends!" exclaimed Kori, causing them both to turn sharply towards her. "You are all so wonderful and I am so happy to be here with you in this moment."

Gratitude. Kori practiced it in a way unlike anyone else Rachel had ever met. A genuine smile came upon her lips once more, as she mumbled in agreement. Everyone gathered around, words of congratulations lining the air and whoops of excitement.

"Hey, Rich!" said Victor, his voice booming over everyone else's. "We better all be invited to the wedding, man."

"Invited?" shot back Richard, smirking at his famous friend. "Are you kidding me? You're all helping."

More excited whoops and squeals from the group. Richard nodded before continuing. "I think all of you should be involved."

Kori nodded so vehemently, it seemed as though her head would fly off. "Absolutely! You are all dear, dear friends and must be part of the day."

"Aw, yeah! Titans forever!" exclaimed Victor, jumping around in excitement. Karen and Malcolm joined in, spinning in a circle. Everyone began to laugh, their voices tinkling away into the mountain air. The sound lingered for a moment, and Rachel suddenly realised that it wasn't tinkling laughter she was hearing anymore.

It was _ringing_.

She turned towards Gar. He was staring at his phone, a mixture of concern and confusion written all over his face. Rachel softly broke away from Kori, walking towards him. She needed to know now. She couldn't wait until they got home. She thought about what she needed to say, what she wanted him to know. What she wanted to ask him. Formulated complex conversations in her mind in a nanosecond.

But within a moment they were all forgotten. Her eyes landed on the handset and she saw a name flashing on the screen.

Tara.

* * *

"Rachel, wait!"

The brunette wasn't listening anymore. She was pushing through the group trying to find Jenny. Seeing the familiar pink-hair bobbing in the background she grabbed hold of her friend's arm firmly.

"Ow!" exclaimed Jenny, turning with a punch readied in her other hand. Her eyes softened immediately as she saw Rachel's tear-filled eyes. "Rach? What's wrong?"

"Need to go home _now_," growled Rachel, her voice low. "Can Wally drive us?"

Wally had turned and heard the final comment. The wide smile vanished from his face as he saw the young woman's pleading expression. "Sure thing, Rachel. You want to go now?"

"Yes, _right_ now," nodded Rachel, pulling Jenny towards the house. "I need my bag."

"Okay, Rach. Look, you go and get in the car. I'll grab your things and we'll meet you there, okay?" said Jenny, her voice firm. Her light eyes were narrowed, full of questions. Rachel nodded as Wally handed her the keys. She fled from the room, heading out to the car. She heard confused voices behind her, but as the tears rushed to her eyes she just didn't care anymore.

He was talking to _Tara_. This whole time, whilst everything was happening. The betrayal stabbed at her chest again, and she felt sick as she unlocked the sports car and leapt inside. In the metal bubble she felt safe. The adrenaline started to fade, and she became acutely aware of the pounding in her head. How could this be happening to her again?

Rachel closed her eyes, trying to drown the world out and meditate. But it wasn't working. Her brain was so distracted with different thoughts and feelings. She sighed, lying down onto the leather seats so she was out of sight. Guilt hit her as she realised she hadn't even said goodbye to everyone. But in that moment, she didn't care. She just wanted to run away.

Far, far away.

The doors opened, causing the young woman to jump and sit bolt upright. Jenny and Wally piled into the car and she handed them the keys silently. As the engine roared into life, they made their way out of the cabin's entrance. She let the tears come. Before she knew it, she was sobbing. Wally didn't turn his head, but Jenny's eyes met hers and she sobbed harder.

Her friend reached across and touched the young woman's hand softly. "Rachel."

Rachel couldn't speak. She felt stupid. She felt angry. She felt intensely sad. But most of all, she felt pain. So, she let the tears come, and ignored that niggling voice that kept telling her this was what she deserved. After some time had passed Jenny tried again, her voice low and gentle.

"Rachel. What's going on? What's happened?"

Rachel shook her head. She didn't want to say it. She couldn't.

"You can talk to me," pressed Jenny, her eyes sincere. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"G-gar," stammered Rachel, her eyes flowing freely. "T-tara."

Jenny's eyes flashed anger. "I see. How did you find out?"

"S-she was c-calling him. He's been acting weird all m-morning."

"That sneaky, cheating son of a—"

Wally cleared his throat, causing Jenny to stop in her tracks and take a deep breath. Wally looked over at Rachel through the rear-view mirror. "Rachel, do you want me to take you home?"

Rachel paused. She wasn't certain where else to go. Jenny followed her thought process. "Hey, you can always bunk down on my floor."

Rachel smiled at her friend, wiping a few tears from her face. Her breathing slowed as she calmed down. "I appreciate it, Jen. But this isn't just going to go away, is it? I need to go home and sort out a few things before I do anything rash."

"Still sensible, huh?" smirked Jenny, her mirth returning. "Too sensible if you ask me. I'd be cutting up his clothes. Better yet, cutting off his—"

"_JENNIFER,_" shouted Wally, fixing her with a glare. He blinked then looked back at Rachel. "Maybe Rachel needs to work this out in her own way."

Jenny sighed in defeat. "Yeah, you're right. But you know where I am if you need to come over later, okay?"

"Thanks, both of you," replied Rachel, seeing the familiar signposts to Jump City coming into view. "I'm sorry to have dropped that on you. I've messed everything up."

"Not at all," said Wally, cheerfully. "We got a free stay in an awesome mountain lodge retreat and made some new friends. I'd say that's a win-win."

Jenny smiled fondly at Wally, before squeezing her friend's hand then letting go. She turned in her seat, facing out of the front window. "What he said."

Rachel nodded, her eyes turning to look out of the side window in thought.

_'Deal with it in my own way?'_

Maybe Wally was onto something after all.

* * *

As the sportscar whizzed off with Jenny waving from the window and blowing kisses, Rachel pulled her bag onto her shoulder and made for the apartment block. Her feet were moving on their own, her mind still numb and buzzing with thoughts.

As she entered the elevator, she punched the number pad and rested her head against the mirror as she heard the floors dinging by. What a mess. How had it all got to be so complicated?

As the doors opened, Rachel looked in surprise at the corridor. She'd hit the wrong floor. This was the sixth floor. She blinked, astonished at her own mind. Had she unconsciously come here, or...

Her feet moved her again. Rachel was halfway down the corridor before she realised she was knocking on Garth's door with urgency. There was movement inside and she heard the click as he came into view.

"Rachel?" he said, looking surprised at her somewhat dishevelled appearance. "What's going on? I thought you were in the mountains this weekend with your friends."

"I was," mumbled Rachel, feeling suddenly uncertain as to what she was doing. She scuffed her feet awkwardly. "Now I'm not."

"Okay," replied Garth, sounding equally unsure. He paused. "Do you...want to come inside?"

Rachel nodded dumbly and walked past him into the apartment. Her eyes were trained on the ground, her body still moving on autopilot. She heard another click as Garth closed the door. His scent lingered in her nose as he walked past her into the kitchen and flicked on the coffee machine. Rachel dawdled, playing with her hands and wondering what was happening right now. She had just run out on Gar, left him after everything that had happened. After everything they had shared. And now she was here in another man's apartment.

The tears were only a moment away. She felt one rolling down her nose and dripping onto the floor. Then another. Then another. Before she knew it, she was sobbing again. She pulled her hands up to her face, feeling ashamed and vulnerable.

"Rachel," came the deep soothing tones of her companion. She pulled her hands away from her bleary eyes and looked at him. Garth handed her a mug; coffee made exactly as she liked it. He didn't speak as he guided her towards the lounge and sat her down on the couch. He sat next to her, quietly and patiently waiting for her to speak. The sobbing continued for a few minutes before she regained herself, and he handed her a tissue which she took gratefully.

"I'm so sorry, Garth. What you must think of me bursting in like this..."

Garth silenced her with his hand. "Something's clearly happened. You want to talk about it?"

"Yes. No. I don't know," huffed Rachel, wiping her eyes and taking a sip of her coffee. "I'm not sure what I'm doing."

"It seems like you needed a friend?"

Rachel nodded, not daring to meet his eye again. She could feel her face colouring. Was that _all _she was doing? Part of her wondered if she had come to Garth seeking more than consolation. Part of her wondered if she had come here to get back at Gar. There was no denying her intense suspicion of Tara and seeing her name on the screen had sent her into a jealous rage. Was she here to make Gar feel the same way? And if so, what kind of person did that make her? What kind of friend was she?

Rachel sniffed, feeling suddenly aware of where she was. She looked at Garth pleadingly. "I'm sorry. I just had a falling out with Gar and I'm a bit all over the place."

"Ah," replied Garth, placing his coffee down on the side slowly. "I see."

"What does _that _mean?" asked Rachel, a little more sharply than she had intended to. Garth laughed at her outburst, poking her wrinkled nose playfully.

"Come now, Rach. We're past all that aren't we?"

"Mmm," agreed Rachel, feeling her nose tingling slightly from his touch. She didn't want this. She didn't want any of this. Not anymore. But it felt safe and certain. She'd been here before. Her mouth moved on its own. "Maybe I don't want a friend after all."

"What does _that_ mean?" mimicked Garth, his eyebrow quirking. His dark eyes were staring at her evenly. He seemed suddenly concerned again. "What's going on with you, Rachel? You said you fought with Gar one moment then the next you don't want to talk about it?"

"No, I_ don't _want to talk about it," growled Rachel, placing her hands over her face. "I want to forget about it."

"But it's clearly upset you—"

"I don't care!" she shouted, her rage taking over for a moment. Her eyes were brimming again as she lowered her fists to glare at Garth angrily. "I can't believe after everything he's done to me that I still care about him! He is _such _an idiot! I hate him!"

"Come on. You don't mean that."

"I do!" exclaimed the young woman, petulantly. "I _hate _him for making me feel this way."

"Feel what way?"

"Ugh, just forget it. It doesn't even matter."

"Look, Rach," began Garth calmly, leaning his weight forward onto his legs. His dark hair tumbled about his shoulders as he moved. "Let's stop with the silly games. You and I both know that you have feelings for Gar."

Rachel's blue eyes went wide, colour rushing to her face. "I—"

"Don't interrupt me," said Garth, firmly. He looked at her with his dark eyes, honesty radiating from them. "You have feelings for him. It's clear in the way you talk about him, the way you look when you're thinking about him. You're head over heels for him, whether you want to admit it or not. It sounds like something's happened between you on this weekend; the what doesn't matter. It's clear you're freaking out, and I'm guessing you came here confused. So, for that reason, being anything more than friends right now would be a _mistake_."

Rachel looked down, her cheeks still burning with shame. Was she really that transparent? She felt guilt hitting her immediately as she realised the enormity of what she had been doing. "Garth, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You didn't," replied Garth, his voice quiet and low. His eyes betrayed a slight sadness. "Believe me, Rach, any other time I would have..."

He trailed off, taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair. He paused for a moment then looked back up, a wistful smile on his face. "I like you, Rachel. You've got something special about you. But this wouldn't feel right. You have feelings for Gar, and something has happened between you. Am I right?"

Rachel nodded, her voice betraying her once again. She could feel her emotions intensely; so raw and unbridled. Garth reached over and put his arm around her gently.

"Look, whatever has happened, I'm sure there is a rational explanation. Maybe you should go and talk to him?"

Rachel rested her head against his shoulder, breathing his cologne in again and finding some strange comfort in it. "You're probably right."

"I know I am."

"I'm sorry for giving you mixed signals. I really _do_ like you, Garth. You know that, right?"

"I do," smiled Garth, kissing her forehead gently. "In another lifetime, maybe it would have been something. But not in this one. It's not me you need, Rach. You need to go to him."

Garth paused, rubbing his hand up and down her arm softly. "Go and speak to Gar."

* * *

**Review replies:**

**Kairu-Blackstar: Aw, shucks - thanks so much! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint :)**

**Crystal Koneko: Hooray! Now we're cooking with gas...hope you enjoyed it!**

**Golem XIV: So sorry to have worried you! It's been a strange few months, but I'm still standing! I hope I didn't break your heart too much in this chapter, you know me - it'll all come right in the end (probably!). I had to give Vic a break, he takes a battering in most fics - let's put some of that heat onto our friend Rich :D Good to hear from you - hope you're taking care.**

**AwesomeRockstar101: Uh oh! Gar has been hiding something after all...but don't worry, I love BBRae too so we'll make sure they sort it out ;) Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Guest: Gar is being typical stupid thinks he's doing the right thing but isn't Gar. You've gotta love his naive idiotic butt. Jinx has been so much fun to write, ngl. I've so enjoyed her and Rachel's friendship in this one. You take care and keep safe and healthy too!**

**Sanzojoe: You win the cookie! Or do you? You'll have to wait and see! :) Good guy Garth keeps everything moving in the right direction...for now. You know I can't help but love a bit of angst! Good to hear from you, hope all is well.**

**Lexiz Andra: Thank you so much!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: Hi all - sorry I've been absent once more. This Coronavirus business is getting old fast, isn't it?! All joking aside, it's a really troubling time and I'm hoping you and your families are safe. Feel free to distract your mind with our favourite AU Gar/Rae couple! I hope you enjoy - review replies at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DC Universe.**

* * *

**Chapter nine**

Rachel stayed with Garth for another hour or so until she had calmed down fully. He had been a gentleman in every sense of the word, walking her to the lift to ensure she was okay. She reassured him she was, and they agreed to meet again at another time.

Yet, as the doors pinged shut, Rachel felt anxiety seeping over her at the thought of seeing Gar again. What should she say? What should she do?

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out onto their floor and pulled her key from her bag. Her dark hair was sticking to her forehead, as sweat beaded at her hairline. She pushed it to one side, and unlocked the door carefully. As it swung open, she knew that he was already back. The apartment was dark, but there was no mistaking his distinctive scent.

"Gar?" she called out uncertainly, as she closed the door behind her. "Are you home?"

"I'm here," came his voice from the lounge. Rachel swallowed as she let her bag slump to the floor and walked into the room. Gar was sitting on the couch, his feet kicked up lazily. His green eyes were full of thoughts and emotions that she couldn't read. But she sensed they were negative. She rubbed her arm, suddenly feeling awkward.

"How did you get back so fast?"

"Vic gave me a ride," replied the blond, his voice very quiet and low. It was unlike him; he appeared like a cat waiting to strike. He paused. "Rachel, why did you run?"

Rachel moved her feet beneath her, kicking the corner of the couch and sucking the air in through her gritted teeth. "You know why."

"Because _Tara _was ringing me?" replied Gar, his voice raising a few octaves. She knew he was angry, but it didn't stop her folding her arms petulantly and glaring at him. Gar let out an incredulous laugh, as though he couldn't believe they were having this conversation. "Are you really that paranoid? What the hell, Rae?"

"Don't start, Gar. You know full well you've been acting all jumpy, walking around on your phone all weekend. It seems pretty clear to me now who you were talking to."

Gar's face paled, and he shook his head. "Are you kidding me? I wasn't talking to _Tara_!"

"Well, why was she phoning you then?" shouted Rachel, her own voice raising in pitch. She could feel her blood pounding round her body, her anger rushing to the surface. "Don't lie to me, Gar."

"I'm not _lying _to you!" growled Gar, suddenly getting to his feet and marching towards her. His eyes were wild and feral. "You're the smartest person I know and yet you can be so_ dumb_ at times, Rach."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, Gar. You want to talk about dumb? You were the one who was acting suspiciously. Sneaking around taking calls where no one could hear you and _pretending _it was work! What am I supposed to think?" replied Rachel, her face sitting a few inches from his. She knew that this was quickly spiralling out of control, but she felt pulled in by it all and unable to stop. Chaos closed in all around them as their emotions poured out.

"You could have talked to me! But you're too busy running off to God knows where. It's the same old shit, Rae. You've been running your whole life."

"Maybe I did run," retorted Rachel, her fists clenching. "But only because I didn't want to do this in front of the others and ruin Kori and Richard's special moment. You're going to berate me for that?"

Gar shook his head, folding his own arms. "Justify it however you want. The point still stands."

"I came _back_, Gar. I'm here right now, aren't I? I came straight home."

"Clearly you didn't because I got here first."

"I was here...I just..."

The young woman trailed off, instantly realising her mistake. She blinked, feeling that gnawing feeling in her gut again. Gar's lip curled, his green eyes flashing with a different emotion. One she had come to know well in the past few hours. Jealousy.

"You were with _him_, weren't you? The marine biologist?"

"Garth," corrected Rachel, standing to her full height. She shook her dark hair back out of her eyes. "His name is Garth and he's my friend."

"Your 'friend'?" replied Gar sarcastically, folding his own arms to mirror her own defensive position. "Is that what you call it these days?"

Rachel let her own face contort in disbelief at his words, although a pang of guilt hit her in the chest. "It's not _like _that between us. Nothing happened."

"Of course not."

"It didn't!" exclaimed Rachel, feeling the anger returning to her. "And anyway, I can't believe you're turning this around to be about me."

"Well seeing as you're the only one here who has done anything—"

"Gar, I've done _nothing_ except to go and seek comfort when I was upset!"

"Comfort, really."

"Be very careful what you're saying, Logan," growled Rachel, taking a few steps back from him. "Because it sounds like you're accusing me of something."

"Maybe I am," replied Gar, taking a few steps back towards the couch. "I know what you're like, Rach. Maybe you've forgotten that we've been best friends for the past twelve years. I know how your mind ticks, how you cope with your intimacy issues."

"_Intimacy _issues," replied Rachel, her heart pounding. Gar nodded, his voice calmer now. He was staring at her intently.

"Yes, Rae. Intimacy issues. You think I don't know that the way you cope with your fear of being vulnerable is to push people away? That every decent guy who you've gotten close to has just become another stranger within a few hours? I've seen what happens when you try to date."

Gar paused to shake his head. "And you know what? I completely understood. Every single one, every single time. But this is me. I thought we could trust each other."

"So did I," mumbled Rachel, his words hitting her hard. She steadied herself on her feet. The image of Tara's name on his phone was still fresh in her mind. "But I guess we don't. You're right. Maybe I do have intimacy issues, so maybe we shouldn't do this."

Gar looked at her, a sadness in his eyes apparent for a brief moment before it was replaced by his anger. "Yeah. Maybe you should just go back to him instead. Clearly he gets you better than I do."

Rachel felt tears in her eyes. "Fine. If that's really what you think Gar, maybe it would be best if I did leave."

"Do what you want," replied Gar, sitting back down on the couch and staring at the ceiling. He looked blank, dissociating from the situation in which he found himself. He seemed defeated, or too tired to fight anymore. Perhaps both.

Rachel felt tears dripping down her face. She couldn't believe how elated she had felt that morning, given the despair that was now hitting her chest. "I guess I'll see you later then."

"Okay. Bye."

Rachel fled the room. She picked up her bag, slamming the door behind her as she left. She didn't stop to pack. She couldn't bear to stay a moment longer. Her stomach was in knots, she felt as though she might vomit all over the corridor. Opting to take the stairs, Rachel listened to her footsteps echoing on the stone. She pulled her phone from her bag and composed herself before dialling a number.

"Richard? Yes, I'm fine. You know you said that I could come and stay with you and Kori?"

A pause. Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Could I come now, please?"

* * *

"Yes, Miss Wilson. I'll be back in work on Monday. I know, it's a really strange bug. Yes, I promise I'll be back with the children first thing. Thank you for your understanding. I do realise I won't be paid. Yes. Thanks. See you Monday. Goodbye."

Rachel pressed the red button on her phone and put it to her face. She allowed her frustration to surface for a moment, before throwing the phone down onto the couch defeatedly. Kori's head popped around the corner.

"You have made the call?"

"Yeah, I've made it, Kor. Thanks."

"Was your boss the upset?" asked the young woman, walking towards the couch gently. As she sat next to her friend, she fanned her red hair around her face anxiously. Rachel nodded.

"She wasn't happy. But there isn't much she can do. I have a pretty spotless record, so it's only her frustration I have to handle and...believe me, it's probably the easiest thing for me to handle right now."

Rachel reached out and took hold of a pink fluffy cushion on the couch and held it to her chest. It smelled of Kori's favourite perfume, and its texture was oddly comforting. Kori gently stroked her friend's hair, tucking it away from her face. "Friend, you have been here almost an entire week and you have yet to tell us what is happening."

"I've imposed on you and Rich enough," replied Rachel, curtly. "I don't need to burden you with all my problems as well."

"Rachel Roth, you should know that your problems _are _our problems," said a voice from behind the couch. Rachel bent her head backwards to see two blue eyes looking down at her. Richard ruffled her hair amicably, before placing a kiss on her forehead. "We're worried about you, Rach."

He walked around the couch and perched on the coffee table. He was still in his pyjamas, having been on the night shift for the force. Kori had taken a day off to keep her friend company, much to Rachel's dismay.

The young woman sighed, slightly comforted by the kindness of her friends. She looked up at their eager and imploring faces and felt guilty. "I suppose...it's just difficult for me to talk about."

Kori shook her head. "Please, friend. We have known you for the long time. Blüdhaven is not your home, but we are your family. There is nothing you may say that is likely to upset us."

"Kori's right," agreed Richard, placing his hand on his fiancée's arm. She turned and smiled at him brightly. Richard returned the smile then continued to speak. "We're here for you. But we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong. All you said was that you needed to get away for a while and that something has happened. Vague doesn't even _begin _to cover it."

Rachel sighed again, adjusting herself in her seat awkwardly. It seemed there was no way to wiggle out of this. They weren't going to let it go, and in truth she needed to talk in through with someone. The chat with Garth was a long time ago, and she still felt no clearer, especially given her final encounter with Gar. He hadn't made any contact whatsoever, so she could only assume he was still angry with her. Truth be told, Rachel was in a mess. She knew she couldn't stay with Kori and Richard forever, yet she didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to go. Feeling the tears rising to the surface, she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Gar and I...fell out," Rachel managed, keeping her voice as calm as possible. Kori wrapped her arm around the young woman's shaking shoulder. "I don't think I can go back. Not ever."

"Come on now," said Richard, reassuringly. "You guys fall out all the time! Especially when we were kids. You always find a way to patch it up; you're inseparable."

Rachel felt a few tears leaking out of her eyes and wiped them away swiftly. "Not this time. I don't think this is reparable."

"Why could it not be repaired?" asked Kori, her green eyes shining with naïve curiosity. "You are friends, surely you can—"

"We're not," interrupted Rachel, her head drooping. "We're not friends anymore."

"Don't be stupid, Rach!" replied Richard, giving a light laugh. "Whatever's happened can't be bad enough that you aren't friends anymore."

"That's not what I meant," shrugged Rachel, bringing her hands up to hide her face. She knew she was blushing, and she hated them seeing it. She mumbled through her fingers. "I mean we're not _friends_. We haven't been for a while."

"But when we saw you on the weekend, you were very much the friends!" exclaimed Kori, still oblivious. But Richard's eyes had changed. He had caught her inference in a second, and now appeared slightly shocked.

"No, Kor. That's not what she's saying. Rachel, are you saying you guys were..._more_ than friends?"

Rachel nodded dumbly, knowing that Kori was well aware of the background context of this revelation. The gasp from the redhead confirmed it. "Well, that is wondrous, is it not!"

"Not," shot back Richard, placing a hand on Kori's shoulder to calm her and shaking her head. "If you were _more_ than friends and then you fell out...this is worse than we thought, isn't it?"

Rachel nodded again, lowering her hands from her face but keeping her head bowed. Her dark hair pooled into her lap as she played with her fingers awkwardly. "I think he was...more than friends with Tara, too."

"You mean that he was doing the dating with Tara whilst you both were...more than friends?" replied Kori, trying to work out what was being said. She was treading tentatively so as not to put her foot in it. "You are saying Gar was doing the cheating on you with Tara?"

Rachel nodded, then shrugged. "I don't know anymore, Kor."

"That doesn't sound like Gar," reasoned Richard, shaking his head firmly. "I have to be honest, Rachel, I'm struggling to see it. Especially seeing as..."

He trailed off, clamping his mouth shut as though he was frightened it may betray him further. Rachel raised her head, raising her eyebrow at him.

"Especially seeing as what?"

"Nothing, forget it," stumbled the young man suddenly, running his hands through his hair nervously. "K-kori, did you say something?"

"I did not," replied Kori, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes. "Richard, why are you doing the twitching?"

"Because he's _hiding _something," said Rachel, her voice gravelly and threatening. She gripped her friend by the arm. "What is it, Grayson?"

"Ow! Alright, alright," replied Richard rubbing at his sore arm, before throwing his hands up in defeat. Rachel sat back on the couch, truly perplexed as to what was going on. He sighed deeply before looking at the girls warily. "I promised Gar I wouldn't say anything, but he mentioned briefly at the weekend that Tara had been hounding him with calls and messages recently, but he hadn't responded to any of them."

The young man paused, as though to gauge Rachel's reaction. The brunette was wide-eyed, her knuckles white from the death grip she had on the fluffy cushion. Richard continued softly, folding his arms. "From the way Gar explained it, they'd tried to give it another shot a month or two back and then he'd changed his mind. But Tara wouldn't take no for an answer. Every now and then she'd try and get hold of him. It was bothering him so much he was thinking of changing his number."

"Did he say why," began Rachel, her voice suddenly hoarse and raspy. She swallowed, then licked her lips anxiously. "Did he say why he had changed his mind?"

Richard nodded slowly. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. "He said that he had feelings for someone else and that he'd realised it wasn't fair to string Tara along any further than he had."

"So then...those phone calls on the weekend?"

"I have no idea, Rach," shrugged Richard, looking at her sorrowfully. "But I'm guessing they weren't Tara. I see no reason for Gar to lie to us. I just didn't realise that the girl he was talking about was you."

"I..." began Rachel, trailing off slowly. She blinked, as some tears began to fall. Questions raced around her mind. Had she really got it all mixed up again? Had her own fear and insecurity blocked her once more in the form of jealousy? Kori soothed her gently, as Richard ran his hands through his hair again awkwardly.

"Look, Rach, I'm so sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," managed Rachel, taking deep gulps of air between her tears. "I'm glad you did. But I think I've ruined everything."

"Friend, you cannot have. Gar is a most wonderful person, perhaps if you just phoned him then—"

"No," interrupted Rachel, shaking her head. "I can't go back there."

"Why not?" asked Kori, looking genuinely surprised at her friend's response. Rachel looked at her with sadness in her eyes.

"I've really hurt him. Besides, he thought that I'd been sleeping with the neighbour downstairs. Wouldn't believe me when I told him nothing happened. Well, I mean...this happened," shrugged Rachel, gesturing to her present state. "I cried on Garth for an hour, drank some coffee and then left. Part of me can't blame him. My default has been to push intimacy away in the past. But nothing happened this time. Nothing at all. Garth was a real gentleman, even though I'm a total ass. Gar deserves better."

There was a silence which hung in the room for a few moments as they all digested Rachel's words. Suddenly, Kori stood to her feet. "This is not right. We must somehow make it right! You are both so _stubborn_!"

"Kori, calm down," said Richard, standing up and placing his hands on her arms. "This isn't our decision. It's up to Rachel and Gar. We'll always be here for both of you, no matter what."

"I know you will," smiled Rachel, reaching for her phone again. She retrieved it and pulled up a number on the screen before tossing the pillow onto the couch. "But you've already done enough. I need to go back to work on Monday, so I'll crash at Jenny's. I guess I'll just figure it out from there."

With that, she stood to her feet and headed for her bedroom. As the door slammed, Kori turned to Richard with tears in her eyes. "I cannot _believe_ Gar! How could he not have phoned? Does he not care as to where friend Rachel is? She is so very upset, and she could be in any state for all he knows!"

"He _does_ care, Kori," whispered Richard, wrapping his arms around her protectively. "Gar called me a little while after Rach did at the beginning of the week. He didn't tell me what had happened, but he wanted to make sure that she was going someplace safe."

Kori shook her head, laughing lightly as a few tears dripped down her face. She seemed a mixture between relieved and amused. "Perhaps we should tell Rachel of his concern."

"No, I promised I wouldn't. Besides, I've already said enough," countered Richard, his voice still low. "Much as I hate to say it, I think that they need to work it out on their own from here."

"But there must be _something _we can do," protested Kori, her eyes wide with worry. "Surely?"

"Yeah. We wait," smiled Richard, his blue eyes meeting hers as he planted a gentle kiss on her lips. "And pray that one of them sees sense before it's too late."

* * *

Jenny's floor was hard and cold. Whilst her friend had tried to make it as comfortable as possible using pillows, cushions, duvets and blankets, Rachel could feel the cold seeping through the ground beneath her and into her back. She shivered involuntarily, wrapping herself up tightly in the cocoon she had made. She could see the morning light throwing slits across the walls and knew that it would soon be time to get up and face the world again. Back on 'brat brigade' duty; what a way to start back to work.

Sighing, she decided that she may as well get up soon and warm herself with some tea. Jenny's apartment was tiny; she only had one bedroom, a small kitchenette area attached the lounge and a small bathroom with barely enough room to turn in. Paying rent by yourself with the measly wage that Rose Wilson allowed was hard. Rachel felt gratitude hit her chest as she realised that she was lucky to have shared an apartment. Their simple flat was like a palace by comparison. Standing to her feet softly, she looked over at Jenny's sleeping frame. The young woman's pink pigtails had fallen out, and her hair was fanned around her like a rosy crown. She looked peaceful; her breathing steady and even. Rachel smiled, feeling another ping of gratitude that she was able to have such kind friends. Jenny may act tough, but beneath that hardened exterior beat a compassionate heart. Watching one session of her with the children was enough to confirm this to even the most sceptical mind.

Padding her way out of the room, she pushed the door gently to and made her way across the small space to find the kettle. There was a lone armchair and a tiny television in the corner of the space. Jenny had tried to make it look as homely as she could, but she was never one for décor. Nor for buying a great selection of tea, apparently. Rachel shrugged as she pulled out the cheap brand bags and threw one into a mug. Right now, she would appreciate the warmth and comfort of the hot liquid no matter what make it was. The kettle whistled away, and the young woman turned her face towards the window. The sunlight was peeking through, but the moon was still in the sky. Rachel rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn, before a sinking feeling hit her stomach. In an instant, the reality of the situation dawned on her again.

For once, Rachel didn't cry.

She didn't feel that she had any tears left within her. Truthfully, she felt a type of numbness, of dissociation for the situation in which she found herself. Rachel knew it was a type of self-preservation, but it didn't matter. It provided at least a temporary reprieve from her feelings and that was enough to keep her functioning right now.

The kettle's whistle and click drew her away from her thoughts and she poured the hot water onto the bag. As the steam rose, she began to think about what was next. Realistically there was no way she could stay here with Jenny. Kind as her friend was, one night on that cold floor was enough to make Rachel recognise it was temporary at best. Picking up her tea, she made for the comfy armchair and curled up her legs, grabbing a stray blanket to wrap around herself. As she sipped the warm liquid, she considered her options quietly.

It didn't take her long to realise she didn't have many. Kori and Rich were too far away in Blüdhaven, so it would mean uprooting her entire life to move there. Plus, with the wedding and everything they had going on it just wouldn't feel right somehow. Then there was Vic; he travelled so much he didn't really have a solid residence in the area. She knew he would help her out if she asked, but her pride wouldn't allow it. Karen, Malcolm, Roy and the others from the original Titans group all lived scattered across the country. Whilst she knew they would assist her in an instant, it left her with the same dilemma as before; moving her entire life again. Starting over.

Rachel wasn't good with change. It had taken her six months before she had really relaxed into the apartment and her new job. Moving halfway across the country just didn't feel like an option somehow. Of course, there was Garth. But the very thought of that brought bile to her throat. Rachel hadn't spoken with the biologist since their encounter a week ago and in truth, she wasn't sure what to say. There was no way that she would ask him for a spare room, not after what had transpired. She definitely didn't want to become embroiled with anyone else right now, and if Gar found out then...

Gar.

Rachel had been avoiding thinking about him; she was self-aware enough to recognise her own defences. But as she began to let him into her mind once more, the feelings of hurt and betrayal resurfaced. He hadn't attempted to contact her since she left the apartment. No calls, messages or emails. No letters or post. No surprise visits in the middle of the night. It left her feeling empty and incredibly sad. Rachel shook her head, feeling disgusted at her self-pity. Afterall, it wasn't as though she had attempted to contact him. Why should the onus be on Gar?

But the hurt she felt just wouldn't shift. Richard's words echoed around her mind and she contemplated the fact that the phone calls may not have been Tara. But then who were they? It didn't make a lot of sense in her mind. There wasn't any _reason_ for Gar to hide anything from her; they had always been so open. But if he was seeing someone else then...

There was no saying that the girl he had mentioned to Richard was her.

So perhaps that was it. Perhaps it _wasn't _Tara but someone else. The very thought made her stomach lurch. She had never thought of Gar as being like that, especially since Tara had cheated on him all those years ago. He had always seemed a loyal person, often to a fault. Maybe the reality was that she simply didn't know him as well as she thought she had. Running her hand through her long dark hair, Rachel sighed deeply.

_'There's only one option left, isn't there?' _came a voice from deep within her. Her irrefutable logic was always present in one way or another. _'It's all you, kiddo.'_

Rachel nodded to herself, taking another sip of the tea. The door behind her squeaked slightly as it opened, and a bleary-eyed Jenny emerged from the darkened room. She yawned widely, pressing her hand to her face and stretching.

"Rach? What time is it?"

"Seven," said Rachel, her voice quiet. She twisted to look at her friend, a small smile on her face. "You can still catch some z's if you like; I'll wake you in an hour."

"Nah, I'm awake now," shrugged Jenny, walking towards the kettle and touching it gently with the back of her hand. She gestured to Rachel's mug. "Need a refresher?"

Rachel nodded and stood from the chair. She walked towards the kitchenette and handed the empty vessel to the young woman, who re-boiled the water and grabbed some more teabags. Jenny shook her pink hair out and pushed it away from her face. "Couldn't sleep, huh sis?"

Rachel shook her head, leaning on the counter slowly. Her eyes were fixed on an indeterminate point. "It's nothing personal, I haven't been sleeping well lately."

"I'm not surprised," replied Jenny objectively, making their tea. She gave a cautious look towards her friend. "Want to talk about it or whatever?"

"Not really," admitted Rachel, twisting a strand of her hair awkwardly. "I was just thinking about what to do next. You know, living wise."

"Well, you can crash here for as long as you need," said Jenny, handing her a refreshed mug with a small smile. "I know it isn't the best place in the world, but it is home."

"Actually, I was thinking maybe there might be an opening in the block somewhere?" asked Rachel, feeling a little uncomfortable. Jenny narrowed her eyes.

"Girl, you don't want to live here. Seriously? No one lives here out of _choice_."

"That's the thing. I don't think I have many choices left, Jen," countered Rachel, her blue eyes dropping to look at the floor. The tiles were slightly cracked beneath her bare feet. She sniffed, looking back up to Jenny. "You know we can't afford much on Wilson's crappy pay packet."

Jenny sighed and loped towards the chair. She slumped into it, and Rachel sat cross legged on the floor facing her. Jenny stretched her body out lazily, balancing her tea on her stomach. "Hmm. Maybe I could get a couch?"

Rachel smiled, feeling a warmth in her chest. A small smirk lit her face. "Aw, you'd do that for me, piglet?"

Jenny snorted at the silly nickname, pushing her hair out of her eyes again and twisting herself so she could examine her friend more closely. She hesitated briefly before speaking again. "So, there's no way you're going back to your old place?"

"No," shot back Rachel, immediately. The smirk was gone in an instant. Her back stiffened, as she looked at her friend firmly. "No way."

"You don't even want to speak to him?"

"No."

"Okay," Jenny paused, taking a sip of her tea and fiddling with the handle of the mug. "I mean, you never know, maybe there's some explanation for what happened."

"Jen—"

"I'm just saying, if you don't give him a chance to explain you're never going to know," interrupted her friend, raising her eyes to meet Rachel's. "Whatever else happened you've been best friends forever, right?"

Rachel fell into silence. She knew Jenny was being empathic. But all she could see in her mind's eye was the cold expression on Gar's face the last time she had seen him. The way his jaw set as he glared at the ceiling. How he told her to go. How he didn't seem to care. She shuddered.

"I don't think we're even that anymore," replied Rachel, quietly. It seemed there maybe were a few tears left. She felt a pricking her eyes and pressed them shut hard. She wasn't doing this again. She needed to be logical now. To survive. To work out a plan. Jenny bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, Rach. I didn't mean to upset you; I was just trying to help and—"

"It's fine, I know you were."

"I just want you to be happy," shrugged Jenny, struggling to right herself in the chair. She sighed deeply again. "You seemed so happy that night at the cabin. I thought it was all going to work out for you two."

"Maybe someday it will," mused Rachel, wrapping her hands tightly around the mug. She couldn't mask the intense sadness in her voice as she spoke. Her eyes found Jenny's and she gave a wistful smile. "But not today."

* * *

**Review replies:**

**Kairu-Blackstar: You're so incredibly sweet! Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my writing - I hope this chapter didn't disappoint :)**

**Golem XIV: Yes ouch indeed. And more ouch in this chapter too, apologies. But things will (probably) get better (most likely). Right? Hope this chapter was longer and didn't disappoint! I'll try to keep updating, work has kept me busy at this strange time. Hope you're safe and well!**

**LightNS: Oh no, I'm sorry! It's definitely in progress and not abandoned, I can promise that much :) Thank you so much! I enjoy your stories too, so it means a lot that you're enjoying mine in return.**

**AwesomeRockstar101: I know, poor Raven - she's in a mess. I'm sure Rach and Gar can sort it out! Next chapter will (most likely) be better ;)**

**Guest: Yayyy wedding! But of course angst and drama...I can't help myself. I've painted Garth in rather an awful light in some of my other stories - perhaps this is his redemption? I quite like Good Guy Garth! :D I hope you enjoyed Gar's little jealous rage here...stay tuned!**

**Guest: Thank you!**

**Guest: I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to torment you. Perhaps Gar isn't as bad as you thought now? :) It seems like they're both pining in this chapter - I'm sure it'll all come right in the end. Stay safe and healthy too, all the best to you and thanks for the reply!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm sorry it's taken so long to update but you know...global pandemic! I've made it an extra long chapter for you all. Hope you're still keeping safe and well wherever you are in the world.**

**Disclaimer: ** **I do not own Teen Titans or any characters from the DCU. Remember this story features strong language, adult themes and is not suitable for children.**

* * *

**Chapter ten**

The looming building of the youth centre had never seemed more threatening. Rachel took a few centring breaths, before following her friend inside. The drab walls greeted her, just the same as they had always been. Jenny saw her defeated expression and gave a little smirk.

"What? Did you think they were going to redecorate in honour of your return or something?"

"I mean, a lick of paint wouldn't go amiss," replied Rachel, giving a grim smile. "I guess being away from the place you forget just how dingy it really is."

"Still not a Monday person, huh?"

Rachel let out a tiny chuckle. "Not even a little bit."

After they'd signed in and deposited their effects in the lockers, the two friends trudged their way down the corridors towards their respective groups.

"Right, I'll see you later, Rachey," said Jenny, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Don't let the brat brigade overwhelm you. I know you're out of practice and all but—"

"Jennifer Maledict, don't you have something more important to be doing than jostling Rachel?" came a deep voice from behind them both. Jenny and Rachel both jumped as Miss Wilson appeared from down the corridor. Jenny's eyes betrayed panic, but she recovered quickly.

"Sorry, Miss Wilson. I was just checking in with Rach as I haven't seen her all week. She's only just become non-contagious!"

"I'm well aware of Miss Roth's ailments, thank you," growled Rose, her eyes narrowed beneath her glasses. Rachel swallowed in fear. Rose gestured towards Jenny's room. "Now kindly go and do the job I pay you to do. Rachel and I need to have a brief word."

"Yes, Miss Wilson," replied Jenny, her voice bland and low. She gave Rachel a look then turned on her heel and clomped away. As the door swung shut, Rachel turned to face the officious woman head on.

"Are you feeling _better, _Rachel?" asked Rose, her tone laced with sarcasm. Rachel nodded, dumbly. She wasn't sure what was about to be levelled at her, but she didn't want to give Wilson any more ammunition than necessary. Rose gripped her clipboard to her chest and glared at her. "Oh wonderful. Perhaps now you can actually do some work for a change."

Rachel nodded, and Rose tilted her head. That strange, amused smile was on her face again. It was unnerving. "Did you lose your voice?"

"No, Miss Wilson," replied Rachel, softly. "I just don't have anything meaningful to say. I'm here and I'm ready to work."

Rose Wilson nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. Her amused smile suddenly looked slightly sadistic. "Good. I'm glad to hear it. Just to clarify, last week will be classed as unpaid leave. If you so much as take another day away without an official note from your doctor, I will be _forced_ to let you go. Are we clear?"

"Completely," mumbled Rachel, her voice monotone.

Rose nodded again, turning on her heel and beginning to walk off. She turned slightly and shot a parting comment over her shoulder. "Hurry up, Rachel. Wouldn't want you to be late for your favourite group, now would we?"

Rachel snarled under her breath, feeling her anger hanging on by a thread. She swallowed it down. "No, ma'am. I'm on my way."

As Rose clicked away down the corridor, the brunette unclenched her fists. There were indentations in her hand where her nails had dug into her palm. As she paced towards the room, she began to reconsider her options. Perhaps moving across the country wouldn't be so bad after all. Wilson's rudeness was giving her cause to want to throw the towel in there and then.

But as the door opened, she saw some familiar smiling faces. Timmy and Teether raced towards her at lightning speed. "Miss Wachel!"

She opened her arms as the two boys latched on to either leg. The rest of the brat brigade circled around her and she smiled at them all. "Good to see you, munchkins. Shall we do some craft again today? I think it's time to get messy."

* * *

Rachel wiped her hands on a cloth and looked at all of the pictures on the table. Every single child had handed their pictures to her today. She felt her heart swell a little despite her strange mood, and she couldn't thwart the smile that was on her face.

"Miss Wachel?"

The brunette turned, her long hair waving behind her as she did so. Timmy was looking at her expectantly, his blanket clutched in his fists. She nodded, still smiling. "Yes, Timmy?"

"Are we the last ones again, today?"

"Looks like it," replied Rachel, sitting down on the chair. "Is Melvin coming to get you?"

Timmy nodded, as Teether tottered over and leapt onto her lap. He was half chewing and half sucking his pacifier, and dribble was coming down his chin. Rachel grabbed a wet wipe, absently catching the drool before it hit her legs. "Maybe she's running a little bit late."

"'Spose," said Timmy, looking a little worried. Rachel reached for the cookie tin.

She ruffled his hair and offered him another biscuit which he took gratefully. "Don't worry, Timmy. I'm sure she'll be here soon."

As the young boy munched away on his treat, Rachel looked back at the amateur gallery of pictures. There were lots of scribbles and scrawls she couldn't understand yet they felt priceless somehow. At least Wilson had got one thing right. They _were _her favourite group. Brat brigade or otherwise.

The doors banged as Melvin charged in; she was panting slightly as she raced across the room. She launched herself at Rachel, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Oh, Miss Rachel! I thought maybe you had left."

"No, I'm still here, Melvin," replied Rachel, patting the girl gently on her blonde head. "I'm sorry I had to take a bit of time off last week, but I'm back now."

"I know, you were off sick, right?" said Melvin, her blue eyes locking onto Rachel's matching ones. The girl grinned widely, as though she had told a secret and gripped her teddy in her arms. Rachel nodded her head, raising an eyebrow in the process.

"Yes, I was. Who told you that, Melvin? I know Bobby didn't do it this time."

"No, Bobby didn't tell me, silly! _He_ did," gestured Melvin, pointing to the doors. Rachel looked around the girl's small frame and saw a familiar face looking back at her.

Gar was standing near the doors, leaning against the wall.

Rachel's face paled as she spotted him, and she swallowed before remembering where she was. She looked back at Melvin slowly, trying to keep her tone even. "Is that so?"

"Yup! He says he's your best friend. Is that true?" asked Melvin, curiously. Rachel paused then nodded.

"Yes, it's true."

Timmy ran across the hall to where Gar was standing. He grabbed hold of his hand, suddenly dragging him towards the group. "Hi fwend! Come see my picture I did for Miss Wachel!"

"Uh, sure," managed Gar breathlessly, as he was pulled across the room. He stopped a few feet away from Rachel, their eyes meeting for a moment. He smiled at her like he used to, and she felt her heart flutter. "Hi, Rae."

"Hi, Gar," she replied, though her throat was dry and hoarse. His eyes left hers as he scanned across the pictures. Timmy was pointing at one specific drawing eagerly.

"S'mine, here!"

"Wow, that's really good!" said Gar, leaning across the table to look at the drawing. As he moved past her, Rachel could smell his familiar scent and feel the warmth from his body. It made her feel lightheaded. He picked up Timmy's drawing and looked at it hard before smiling widely in appreciation. "You're super talented."

Timmy blushed so hard he was almost the same colour as his hair. "S'bwue cos it's Wachel's favourite colour."

Gar looked back across to her, that strange smile still on his face. "I know."

Rachel's heart started to beat so hard, she was concerned that Melvin would notice. But the blonde girl was gazing adoringly up at Gar. Perhaps she hadn't had the best male figures in her life. Either way, seeing a kindness from a man like Gar seemed very special through the young girl's eyes.

Teether was holding his arms up, fists clenching over and over. Gar tilted his head. "You want to come up here, buddy?"

Teether nodded, as Gar gently put the picture down. He leant over towards Rachel again. He was so close; she could feel his breath on her cheek as he whisked the small boy up into his arms. Teether squealed with delight, as Gar span him around rapidly. Timmy gripped hold of Gar's leg. "Me next, me next!"

Gar swept him up in his other arm and span the pair of them round until they looked dizzy and a funny shade of green. Rachel frowned, her usual spirit returning to her. "Careful, Gar. Timmy's just eaten - he'll be sick all over you."

The young man slowed down before gently popping them down on the floor. "Sorry boys, the boss has spoken."

Melvin grinned at him, then looked back at Rachel. She was an astute little girl, and Rachel knew that she had pegged something was going on. Rachel looked at her, hard. "I think that's quite enough for today. Melvin, are you ready to take the boys home?"

"Yup!" exclaimed Melvin, reaching out and grabbing both of their hands. They were still tottering slightly and giggling with excitement. "We've gotta go home now otherwise Dad will get mad. Thanks for everything, Miss Rachel."

"You're welcome, Melvin," replied Rachel, smoothing the girl's ruffled hair. Melvin turned towards Gar, a big smile on her petite face.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Gar!"

"It's just Gar," corrected Garfield, his green eyes flashing. He reached down and squeezed her shoulder. "And it's nice to meet you too, Melvin. You take care, okay?"

Melvin nodded, before hauling her siblings out of the room. Rachel and Gar watched them leave, their chattering dispersing down the corridor until there was silence. The fire door clanged as it finally shut, and Rachel licked her lips anxiously before turning back towards him. She was still sitting down and was aware of their height difference. Knocking the chair back with her leg, she stood up to face him head on.

"What are you _doing_ here, Gar?"

Garfield's eyes locked onto hers again, and for a moment Rachel felt weak. Wishing she had stayed sitting, she folded her arms and tried to appear defiant. But his low voice hit her square in the chest.

"I was worried about you, Rach," he began, taking a small step towards her. Rachel shifted her eyes to the floor, feeling slightly petulant and angry. _Worried_ about her? She could take care of herself.

"You don't need to worry about me, I'm fine. I'm just at work."

"You are at work," confirmed Gar, looking around the large room. His emerald eyes fell back on to hers. There was a seriousness behind them. "But you're not fine. And neither am I."

Rachel shrugged and turned towards the pictures. She started to clear up, feeling that she might cry if she started to speak. As she put craft materials back into their respective boxes, she tried to ground herself. But it was useless; Gar was determined when he wanted to be, and she knew he wouldn't leave easily.

"I miss you, Rach," came his soft voice, from beside her. Rachel stopped mid action, her hand freezing as she processed what he had said. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Gar, please don't do this."

"We need to talk this through," countered Gar, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. His touch sent electricity through her body. "You know that we do."

"What do you want to talk about?" asked Rachel, suddenly feeling a fury rising within her. She turned to face him. "How about the fact that you told me to leave? Maybe the fact that you accused me of sleeping with Garth? Or the fact that you've been hiding something from me?"

"Rae—"

"No, you wanted to talk about it," shot back the brunette, folding her arms across herself and staring at him heatedly. "So, fine. Talk."

Gar took a deep breath. He looked her in the eyes and straightened to his full height. It seemed he was trying to put on a brave façade just as much as she was. He swallowed before speaking again. "Okay. Let's start with this. I'm in love with you."

Stunned didn't even _begin _to cover it. The young woman could feel her knees buckling and she gripped onto the table desperately. His words rang around her head. Disbelief kicked her hard. She needed to be sure. Perhaps she had misheard him.

"You're what?"

"I'm in love with you," repeated Gar, his eyes shining with honesty. There was a vulnerability about him as he spoke, but he seemed determined to stay with it. "And it was wrong of me not to tell you sooner."

"Sooner?" whispered Rachel, turning to rest her weight on the table. She felt faint, dizzy. Like the ground had been swept away from beneath her and she was floating on air. She blinked at him. "What do you mean _sooner_?"

"You think it happened overnight?" asked Gar, shaking his head. He turned to rest his weight next to her on the table. They sat side by side for a moment before he spoke again. "I've been in love with you for a long time, Rae. But I know...I knew that you didn't want a relationship."

"I..." began Rachel, trailing off to nothing. She had been so snow-blind that she hadn't seen it coming. It had knocked her sideways, and her brain was still trying to process it. Gar sighed, drumming his fingers on the table.

"I didn't not tell you because I wanted to hide it from you. It was because I didn't want you to think that I was being friends with you for any underlying reason. I freaking love spending time with you, Rae. You're the most kind, funny and intelligent person I know. I've never lied to you about the fact you're my best friend, but I never told you how I fully felt. I guess on some level I was scared how you might react."

"Scared?" repeated Rachel, like a parrot. She felt incapable of processing any coherent thoughts at the moment. It was as though her carefully constructed world was collapsing around her. Gar nodded.

"Yeah. I was scared you wouldn't feel the same way and that it would change things between us. I didn't want to risk losing you," he explained, quietly. "Then when we had that moment last month...everything changed. But I was still too much of a coward to just ask you."

Rachel was quiet, waiting for him to finish speaking and trying to hold herself together. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly, feeling as though the contact might help.

"That night at the cabin, it just all came together. I never believed that you would actually confirm what I was thinking, and when you did...I couldn't let it go, Rach. I needed to know."

"What did you find out?" asked Rachel, closing her eyes tightly. She could feel him looking at her, his proximity making her feel heady and strange.

"That there _must_ have been some part of you that felt the same. That there might be some crazy chance that we could make it work."

His thoughts had mirrored her own. All this time. The young woman couldn't believe it; she felt happiness and fear washing over her in a second, like a bucket of cold water being poured down her spine. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him. "But Tara..."

"I'd already told her I wasn't interested," said Gar, his eyes full of honesty. "She kept ringing and messaging me, but I never replied. She wouldn't take no for an answer. It was driving me _so_ insane I was on the verge of changing my number."

So, Richard had been telling the truth. She must have been the girl that he was talking about. Rachel swallowed, despite her overwhelming relief at this realisation. Because there was still one mystery yet to be solved.

"That make sense. But then, the phone calls. Who was calling you all weekend?"

"Steve," replied Garfield, his eyes faltering slightly. He closed them and shook his head. "Sorry, I mean my adopted father. Steve Dayton."

"Oh," replied Rachel, her eyes faltering. She knew Steve and Rita Dayton from back in their school days although they paid her little mind. An unusual couple, and Gar didn't talk about them much. Any contact she had been aware of over recent years had always been through Rita. "So...why was Steve phoning?"

"Family stuff. I didn't want to talk about it because we were away, and it's quite personal," explained Gar, shrugging. "I was always planning to tell you about it later, but it had literally _nothing _to do with what was going on between us. That's what I was trying to tell you when you left."

Rachel felt sick at his words, but for a different reason than before. She recognised that perhaps she had made a mistake. So, where did this leave her? All her carefully created plans fell away in an instant. She looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. I got it completely wrong, didn't I?"

"Yep," nodded Gar, a little bit of amusement lining his eyes. "But I guess so did I. I should have been honest with you."

There was a pause as they looked at each other. The atmosphere was becoming thick again. Rachel felt drawn to him, more so than she ever had done before. He reached out and touched her face gently. "Will you come home tonight?"

Rachel nodded softly, nuzzling into his hand. "Okay."

He rubbed his thumb over her cheek, eyes filled with curiosity. "Rach, are you okay with this? With what I told you?"

Rachel paused, contemplating her thoughts. The idea that he was in love with her had never crossed her mind. She was surprised by it, but it made her feel happy in equal measure. "I'm okay, I think. Let's just take it one step at a time. At least, I don't want to run right now, which is a first."

Gar laughed, his happiness glowing around him so tangibly she could feel it. There was a sense of relief, as though he had let out something he'd been carrying around for a long time. As his laughter died down, he looked at the clock then back at her. "Come to lunch with me?"

* * *

Jenny was more than happy to cover for Rachel's disappearance. Despite Rose Wilson's rude interventions that morning, Rachel decided that taking a quick break with Gar was worth the risk. _Technically_ she wasn't doing anything wrong, they were entitled to an hour's break as part of their contract. It was simply that Miss Wilson didn't like staff leaving the site, so it was normally easier just to stay in the break room during lunch. But today had been anything but normal.

There was a small coffee shop across the road that looked quiet, and as they entered Rachel felt butterflies in her stomach. She recognised she was nervous but tried to put on a brave face and looked around the room coolly. There were two comfortable looking chairs in the corner, and she jumped to them right away whilst Gar ordered.

As the young man sat down, they both looked tentatively at each other before Garfield finally broke the silence. He seemed awkward and unsure given how candid he had been at the youth centre. "Nice place."

"Yeah, I've never been before," replied Rachel, equally as self-consciously. She played with her long hair and glanced out the window. "Wilson's wrath beats my interest in doing anything with my lunchbreak most days."

Gar snorted with laughter. "Still considering that murderous rampage?"

"More so now than ever," said Rachel, her eyes flashing with mirth. They fell into a more comfortable silence for a few beats as their drinks and snacks arrived at the table. But the young woman was struggling to contain her emotions. She picked up her tea, taking a long sip before speaking again. Perhaps it was like a plaster; it just needed to be ripped off. "Thank you for being honest with me before."

"Oh, y-you're welcome," stammered Gar, looking uncharacteristically flustered. He batted at her with his hand as he took a swig of his soy latte and leant back in the chair. He was clearly trying to look casual despite his own anxiety. "To be honest...it's just good to see you."

Rachel nodded, a genuine smile gracing her face for the first time in what felt like years. "I'm glad to see you too, Gar. But I feel like we need to talk a little more about everything that's happened."

Rachel paused, shrugging her shoulders defeatedly. "Don't get me wrong, I _really _don't want to. I'd rather sit here talking rubbish and mess around like we used to. But...things aren't like they used to be, are they Gar? I'm sick of pretending that they are."

Garfield shook his head, his eyes serious and calm. "No, they aren't."

"I suppose on some level that makes me sad."

"Me too," agreed the young man, brushing his blond hair from his eyes. He leaned forward, weight resting on his knees. "But it doesn't mean that we can't still make it good again somehow. I guess the question is..."

He paused, biting his lip slightly. "What do you want, Rachel?"

"What do _you _want?" shot back Rachel, not missing a beat. Her throat was constricting in fear. She knew the question was coming, yet deflection seemed her safest option. But Gar shook his head vehemently. It seemed the time for defences had come to an end. One way or another they needed to talk this out.

"I think it's pretty clear what I want, Rae. I told you back at the centre. So, don't redirect. Tell me what _you _want. I promise you I won't be mad, whatever you've decided. I just need to know so that we can hopefully move forward through this."

Rachel tilted her head, trying to think about things in more detail. Until a short while ago she was planning to change her entire life. Now a completely different option was being put in front of her and she was uncertain as to what to do with the new information. She took a bite of her sandwich and chewed thoughtfully for a few moments. Her heart and mind were in conflict. But the first thing she could do was to repay his earlier gesture by being honest with him. Completely honest. Even if it was painful.

"Fine. I know this isn't answering your question directly but there are some things I wanted to tell you. As we're on the subject of honesty."

"O-kay?" replied Gar, looking a little confused but also mildly curious as he placed his empty plate down on the coffee table. He folded his arms and sat waiting patiently for her to continue. Rachel rolled her eyes, feeling that all too familiar blush creeping around her cheeks.

"We need to go back in time for a minute, back to when we were at school," she began, tentatively. Gar blinked, nodding in acknowledgement. It was clear he was struggling to see where the young woman was going with her statements. Rachel continued slowly. "It was a long time ago but still significant. Do you remember the fireworks at Halloween?"

"Rach, we've been friends for twelve years...you might need to be more specific."

"Halloween ten years ago. There was a party at the school grounds, and they had fireworks. All the Titans went. You had asked me to go with you and—"

"We watched the fireworks from the rooftop," interrupted Gar, eyes suddenly focusing into the air as he remembered. "Yeah – we'd snuck in through a back stairwell so that we could get the best view."

"That's right. Richard was terrified we were going to get caught but you and Vic convinced him that it would be the best place to see the display. He never could resist fireworks."

"Right," nodded Gar, smiling at the memory. He chuckled to himself. "Jesus, Richard had a stick up his ass even back then."

Rachel couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips. She shrugged lightly. "I guess I was kind of nervous too. But we made it up there somehow just as it was all starting. Remember?"

"Yeah, we were all sat with our legs dangling off the rooftop," mused the young man, taking another sip of his soy latte. He gave her a churlish look. "You didn't like the loud bangs, did you?"

"So _kind_ of you to bring that up," growled Rachel, her face flushing again with embarrassment. Garfield laughed at her discomfort and ran his hand through his blond hair. His mind was being flooded with memories and she allowed him a moment to reminisce. His eyes suddenly landed on hers, as something else occurred to him.

"You grabbed my hand, when the biggest bang went off. Your face was so pale I thought you were going to faint."

Rachel smiled, but this time there was a sadness behind it. She put her tea down on the table, her blue locking onto his. "Do you remember what happened next?"

"I..." began Gar, his brow furrowing. His eyes closed as he attempted to remember the night in detail. "I wrapped my arm around you because you started to shake. I wasn't sure if you were cold or afraid, but you were shivering like it was going out of style. Vic and Rich ran to the other end of the roof to watch the finale and Kori had tagged after them."

"Yeah, she really was like a puppy in those days."

"Right! And Rich was so dense, he had no idea how she felt. He missed every single sign she was sending his way."

Rachel laughed at the bitter irony of what her friend was saying. She found the strength to mumble an affirmative response. "Yeah."

"Then you looked up at me. Your face was strange, kind of scared but not from the fireworks this time. You hesitated like you wanted to say something. I think I kind of asked you what was wrong, and I thought you looked like you were going to cry. You were about to speak but then..."

Gar tailed off, eyes looking at her with a newfound sadness. It appeared the penny had finally dropped. His jaw clenched tightly then released. "Then Tara headed onto the rooftop and I stood up to see her. I left you there at the roof's edge."

Rachel nodded despondently, her eyes faltering and falling to the floor. Gar let out a deep sigh, running his hands through his hair again. He laughed, finally getting the irony of his earlier words and raised his eyes to the ceiling. "Man, I was a dumb kid, huh? I made Richard look like Sherlock fucking Holmes."

Rachel laughed gratefully at his attempts at humour. But they both knew deep down that it was covering a hidden sadness. There was another silence, but this time it was laced with anticipation. There was an expectancy in the room and both of them could feel it. Gar moved his weight forward again, putting his drink down next to hers on the table. "What were you going to say that night, Rach?"

The young woman looked at him, blue eyes filled with tears. She felt the words sticking in her throat just like they did that night. She could almost believe she was fifteen again. But she wasn't. She hadn't been for some time. The reality was that Rachel was sitting here with a man who had just confessed his love to her. They were adults now, and it was time to separate her childish mental state for good. Things were not going to get resolved whilst they were both stuck in the past. The time had definitely come to live in the present. She took a deep breath. It was now or never. "I was going to tell you that I was falling for you."

Gar paused, his jaw setting again. He looked furious. But this time the anger wasn't directed at her. It was directed inwards. He slapped his hand to his forehead in frustration. "God. I'm _such_ an idiot."

"Your words."

"Rachel, I can't apologise enough. I was so absorbed in Tara back then that I couldn't see what was right in front of me."

"You don't have to apologise. It's okay that your feelings back then were different," mused Rachel, the tears receding and her empathy returning to her. "Things were different. _We _were different."

Gar laughed bitterly, his eyes faltering to the floor. "You know, that's the really dumb thing, Rach. Things weren't really that different at all."

"Why?" asked Rachel, her eyes wide. It was the young woman's turn to be confused for once. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," began Gar, his eyes raising to meet hers again. "I felt the same way. Why do you think I kept bugging you in the library? That I was desperate to make you smile or laugh? God, I went to hell and back to make sure you were never left out or made to feel alone. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my entire life."

Rachel felt herself blushing furiously at his words. Something kept niggling her. "But Tara—"

"Come on Rach. You're completely out of my league. The goofy, gawky, dim-witted kid with someone as intelligent and untouchable as you? I honestly thought I was wasting my time," said Gar, quietly. He looked embarrassed, as though he had just been exposed for doing something really awful. It made the young woman cringe and fidget in her seat as he spoke. "I figured that it was best to just stay friends, but the feelings never really went away. After two years of feeling like that about you, I'd just come to the conclusion it was hopeless. So, when I met Tara and she was so outgoing and easy...everything seemed to just fall into place."

"Wow," replied Rachel, shaking her head. She smiled, trying to remain reflective despite the difficult feelings they were discussing. But for once she felt the need to rescue him with some comedy of her own. "You really _were_ dumb."

Gar's mood broke in an instant and he let out a loud laugh. Before they knew it, they were both giggling like they used to. Rachel wiped a mirthful tear from her eye as she spoke. "I can't believe we've been playing this silly game all this time."

"Me neither," admitted Garfield, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back in the chair again. "After Tara and I broke up I figured I'd completely ruined everything. Hell, I felt lucky just to still be in your life. You were so kind and forgiving, after everything she'd done. Everything I'd done. So I left it, decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth; I never told you or tried anything after that. But I just wish I'd been braver before you met..."

The young man trailed off; his fury palpable in the tiny café. It was as though the name was repulsive to him - like he couldn't bring himself to say it somehow.

"Mal," finished Rachel, taking pity on him. "It's not your fault, Gar."

"I guess I always felt like it was. Like I could have rescued you. Protected you from it all. From him."

"You didn't know what was going on. Hell, I didn't _really_ know until it got bad and—"

"Got bad?" interrupted the young man. His green eyes were flashing fire, and Rachel felt her gut twist. She didn't want to upset him by going into too much detail. Malchior was undoubtedly emotionally abusive, but by the end there was some physical abuse too. She so rarely spoke about the trauma she had endured at Malchior's hand that it somehow still felt like her fault when people got upset about it. She nodded lamely, deciding not to go any further.

"How bad exactly did it get, Rae? You never told me everything."

"You don't want to know," replied Rachel, shrugging dispassionately. "You don't _need _to know, Gar. What good would it do now? It's over."

Gar let out a noise that resembled a growl in the back of his throat. "If I ever see that son of a bitch again, I swear I'll—"

"Walk past and ignore him. If we retaliate then he's won. As it stands, _I've_ won. I can see that now. I'm out of there and beyond his control," said Rachel, firmly. "If you use violence to counteract violence then where does it all end?"

Gar paused, shaking his head and blinking at her. It was as though her words shook him out of his mood, and there was a resigned look on his face. "Damn. I hate it when you're right."

Rachel smiled, shaking her own head in response. "The past is the past. I've been running from Mal for long enough. I'm tired of running, Gar."

The young man smiled at the comment, leaning back towards her. There was a table between them, but Rachel could feel his warmth radiating across to her. It made her feel happy in a way that nothing else could. Gar's green eyes focused on hers again; they were swirling with desires, feelings and questions all at once. But he settled on just one. "So, we're back at the start now. Let's stop talking about the past and come back to the present. You still haven't answered my question. What do you want, Rae?"

In an instant, it came to her. She smiled widely, remembering his words _ad verbatim _as only she could. "To be happy. I know its cliché but it's true, Gar. I just want to come home to someone I want to see. I don't want to argue and fight all the time and play mind games. I want the easy life."

Garfield's eyes twinkled, an impish smile spreading across his face. "You sneaky, devious, underhanded—"

"Careful, I might change my mind," replied Rachel, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She rolled her eyes, pushing her dark hair back behind her ears. "This past week has been torture. I want to come home. My real home."

"Our home," amended Gar, reaching over for her hand. She let him take it, her pale slender fingers entwining with his. His digits were slightly calloused from working outdoors, but she didn't care. Right now, his touch felt like the most precious thing in the whole world.

"Our home," agreed Rachel, squeezing tightly. Suddenly she felt self-conscious, as though the whole thing was obscure somehow. She gave a defeated shrug and looked upwards. Exhaling, she spoke her mind. "Shit, I suck at this, Logan. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. What I do know is that in whatever crazy way, we belong together. Even after all this time. I still love you, dumb kid or not. I probably love you more now than I ever have before."

Gar pulled her across the table in a swift movement and placed a firm kiss on her lips. She melted instantly, her hand finding his hair as she desperately grasped for him. But he cut it short, a mischievous smile gracing his face. "Good. Then it's time I let you in on a secret."

* * *

Rachel trotted across the road, checking her watch briefly. Fifty-five minutes. She could still make it back and speak to Jen before the groups started again. Gar had left to head back to work; their lives had to continue as normal, after all. There was a sense of excitement and happiness within her, the likes of which she hadn't felt in some time.

The door stuck as usual. As she kicked it to get in, she noticed the room looked slightly less drab than it had done earlier that morning. A small smile on her face, she rounded the corner and almost walked smack into Jenny.

"Rach! You nearly took me out, sis."

Rachel wrapped her arms around Jenny, without uttering a single word. The pink-haired woman stared in shock as she was released. She blinked blankly at her friend. "You okay?"

"More than. Thanks for covering for me."

Jenny's expression shifted in an instant. She cocked her hip, putting her hand on it and raising her eyebrows suggestively. "Oh, _I_ see. More than okay, huh?"

Rachel shook her head, knowing that no matter how she phrased what she was about to say there would be relentless teasing. "I'll save you the trouble of sarcastic comments and jeering. Gar and I talked things through and—"

"Miss Roth," came a sharp voice beside them, causing the pair to leap into the air in shock. As they turned, Rachel realised she had gripped Jenny's arm in fear and promptly let go. She straightened her posture as she turned to face her assailant.

"Yes, Miss Wilson?"

"Please _do_ tell me where you have been for the past hour?"

Rose Wilson was glaring daggers at the young woman, her glasses slipping down her nose with the effort. Her arms were folded, clipboard nowhere to be seen. Rachel looked her straight in the eye.

"I was on my lunch hour, Miss Wilson," she replied evenly, her voice emotionless. She lowered her tone before speaking again. "The clue is in the name."

"Are you _trying_ to be funny, Rachel?" seethed Rose, her eyes suddenly bulging out in anger. Rachel hadn't seen her this furious in some time. Yet she shrugged, folding her arms.

"Trying? I would have said I was succeeding," responded the brunette, flicking her dark hair out of her eyes. There was a small amused smile on her face. "Miss Wilson."

Rose didn't look angry for a moment. She looked completely stunned. It had obviously been a while since someone had spoken to her in such an audacious manner. Rachel continued to speak, ignoring her bosses' expression.

"I'm entitled to take an hour for lunch, and it does not state in our contracts anywhere that I am not permitted to leave the premises," she continued, still keeping a level tone. "This is a workplace not a prison after all."

"You had better think _very _carefully about what you are saying here, Miss Roth," spat Rose, her fury clearly returning to her. She unfolded her arms and pointed at Rachel menacingly. "You are walking a _very _thin line. A very thin line, _indeed_. One more outburst like that and I will—"

"Let me save you the time and energy, Rose," interrupted Rachel, putting her hand up to silence the woman. Rose Wilson's usually flawless hair was starting to tumble from her tightly woven bun. Her mouth hung agog, as though she couldn't quite believe what was happening. Rachel continued to speak. "I quit."

"What?"

The young woman turned and wrapped her arm around Jenny's slim shoulders. Her friend looked equally as surprised at Rachel's outburst, although there was a hint of captivation on her face. She was clearly awestruck by her friend's words.

"I said, I quit. And so does Jenny."

Jenny's expression rapidly changed to sheer mortification. "I _WHAT?!_"

"We _both_ quit," emphasised Rachel, ignoring her friends' comment. She turned back to face Rose, a firm tone to her voice. "Effective today."

Rose was so angry she was practically hopping from foot to foot. Her tone became threatening. "If you walk out of here, you little worm, then you should know that neither of you will ever work in this city again! There will be no references, no final paycheque drawn up and certainly no—"

"Whilst both Jenny and I appreciate your _kind_ concern for our future employment, that will not be necessary," interjected Rachel, smiling brightly at the woman despite her enraged state. "We have both secured other employment. A reference will not be required."

"We've both _what?!"_ said Jenny, still looking wide-eyed and as though she may faint; the reality of her friends' words seeping into her mind. She gripped onto Rachel's arm tightly. "Rachel, please tell me you're not kidding around."

"I'm not kidding, Jen," said Rachel, squeezing her reassuringly. "We both have new jobs. And seeing as how Miss Wilson has made her position perfectly clear, I suggest I make ours equally as transparent. Our business here is done. We're leaving. Now."

With that, the young woman swivelled around on her heel and pulled her bemused friend towards the exit. Jenny looked perplexed, but she still had the wherewithal to turn around and give a cheeky wink and a wave to the stunned woman that was left in their wake.

"Bye, Rose! I'll miss you, sweetheart!"

As the glass door swung shut behind them with a bang, Jenny twisted herself around and began to walk in pace with Rachel. She turned to look at her, linking their arms together in a swift movement. "I have _never_ been more attracted to you."

Rachel snorted with laughter, a wide smile on her face. "Sorry, I'm taken."

* * *

"You're doing what?!"

Back at the apartment, Jenny was sat on Rachel's couch curled up with a warming cup of coffee and a bewildered look on her face. Rachel shrugged from her position opposite her.

"I said, Gar is buying us our own youth centre so that we can set it up in the way that we think works best. Whilst Gar would be the legal owner, we'd oversee the projects in the _right _way. A way that actually cares for the children we're supporting. Nothing like what that ravager Miss Rose Wilson is doing."

Jenny shook her head, her eyes still wide from the shock of what she was hearing. "Step back a moment, Rachey. How the hell is Garfield Logan going to afford to _buy _us a centre?"

"Ah," smiled Rachel, brightly. She took a sip of her coffee and winked cryptically at her friend. "Now _that_ would be telling."

"You can't do that to me, you bitch!" growled Jenny, folding her arms. "Maybe I don't _want _to be partners with you now."

"Fair enough. You could always go and ask Rose for your job back."

"On _second _thoughts," countered Jenny, giving a sarcastic smile. She flopped her arms down and threw puppy dog eyes at her friend in desperation. "Come on, Rachey baby. Please?"

"Alright, put those eyes away, piglet. I was going to tell you, I just love seeing you squirm," laughed the brunette, placing her drink down on the table. "But all joking aside, this has to stay between us, Jen. I do mean that. You can't even tell Wally until it's all finalised. Promise?"

"Okay, okay, friend's honour or whatever," replied Jenny, sounding exasperated. "Just _tell _me already."

Rachel folded her legs beneath herself. "You know all those phone-calls that Gar was receiving at the cabin?"

"Yeah, the ones you thought were that bitch-troll from hell?"

"Well, _that's_ a new one," chuckled Rachel, amused by her friend's choice language. "Yeah, those calls. It turns out that it wasn't Tara. It was Steve."

"Who the hell is Steve?"

"Steve Dayton. He's Gar's adoptive father," explained Rachel, twisting her fingers in her long, dark hair. "He and Gar have a...complicated relationship so I probably haven't mentioned him before. Steve isn't the easiest man in the world to get along with. He has pretty fixed ideas about things. He still treats Gar the same way he did when we were fifteen."

"Hang on, did you say _adoptive _father?" asked Jenny, suddenly curious. She leaned towards her friend, craning her neck. "You mean Gar's adopted?"

Rachel nodded, her blue eyes looking down at the couch. "Yes. His real parents died a long time ago. I don't know much about them, he doesn't like to talk about it."

"Oh," said Jenny, simply. She shrugged, eyes narrowing. "So, what did Steve want then? Sounds like he was pretty persistent or whatever."

"You don't know the _half _of it," sighed Rachel, her eyes raising to meet her friend's. "It turns out he's been pressuring Gar for a while about his trust fund."

"Trust fund?!" laughed Jenny, holding her arms out towards the young woman. "Pinch me Rach, I think I'm dreaming. A trust fund, for fuck's sake?"

Rachel snorted. "Yes, a trust fund. Gar's real Dad set one up before he died. It suggested that the estate would come out of trust once Gar turned twenty-five."

The young woman paused, her blue eyes looking suddenly sad. "It's been tough for him because he didn't want to accept the money. He's done everything he can to hold up the transfer into his name. But Steve was pressuring him to do something about it. It appears that Mr. Dayton fails to see the emotional side of the situation. To him it's a practical issue which requires _resolution._"

"Ah. Well I can kind of see why Gar wanted to keep it all quiet now."

"Yeah, it certainly makes clearer sense of why he was being so evasive over the weekend," shrugged Rachel, her eyes closing as she exhaled. "But Steve's persistence has finally paid off. Gar's decided to accept the fund. On one proviso."

"What's that?" asked Jen, tilting her head to one side. Rachel smiled, her eyes shining slightly.

"He made Steve promise that he could invest some of the money to set up a youth centre for us."

Jenny became still as a statue for a few moments. It was as though she was completely stunned by what her friend had said. She blinked a few times. "No way. No _freaking _way. Are you serious? Gar did that...for us?"

Rachel nodded, a tear winding its way down her cheek. She wiped it away, quickly and sniffed. "He did. He knows how unhappy it's been for me there. For you too. But he also knows how much it means to us to be with those kids, Jen."

"I...I don't know what to say," replied Jenny, her eyes faltering as she looked down. She snuffled into her sleeve.

Rachel let out a little laugh. "Never thought you'd be speechless."

Jenny didn't seem to acknowledge her friends' comment. Her usually brash demeanour had vanished. Rachel noticed suddenly how frail she looked.

Jenny blinked, her eyes welling up. "No one...no one has ever done anything like that for me before."

"Nor me," agreed Rachel, shuffling down the couch so she could embrace her friend. They sat there quietly for a little while, before breaking apart. Rachel still gripped Jenny's hands firmly.

"You _will_ accept the job, won't you?"

"Like I have a choice," joked Jenny, her eyes lighting up again. "You've pretty much backed me into a corner, sis."

"You always have a choice, Jen. So, what's it to be?"

"Obviously yes, you idiot," joked Jenny, lightly smacking her friend on the shoulder. Her normal persona seemed to gradually be returning to her, and she shot Rachel a cheeky grin. "Now stop, or you'll make me blub again."

"Wouldn't want that," laughed Rachel, shifting her position backwards. She heaved a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad, Jen. I need you right there with me. You know, Gar will be really happy you've agreed to help out. He was excited about the whole idea."

Jenny nodded brightly, a smile still on her face. She looked pensive for a moment. "So, are you guys...you know...officially together now?"

"If you like."

"You're not giving me a definitive answer?"

"Do you need one?" countered Rachel, her eyes playful. Knowing the answer, she silenced her friend with her hand. "Look, Jen. We love each other. I'm moving back in. We're not going to see other people right now. What more do you need to know?"

"I want to know if you're best friends or if you're boning!"

"_Jennifer_," growled Rachel, her face flushing despite the smile on her face. Jen laughed at her friends' discomfort and shrugged.

"Fine, fine. I get it. Ask no questions, tell no lies. So how much is in this trust fund, anyway?"

Rachel grabbed the two now empty mugs and hopped over the couch to make her way back to the kettle for a second cup of tea.

"Five hundred," she replied, busying herself in the kitchenette. Jenny leaned over the back of the couch; her eyes wide.

"You're freaking _kidding_ me. Five hundred grand?!"

"No," said Rachel, a smirk on her face as she turned back to her friend. She couldn't wait to see Jenny's next expression. "Five hundred _million_."

* * *

**Review Replies:**

**Golem XIV: **No - your beautiful hair! :0 They are stubborn, but I hope this chapter brought you some comfort! We're nearly at the end, one more chapter left I think. I'm still toying with the idea of an epilogue but we shall see. Sorry it wasn't as soon as I'd hoped - hope you're still well :)

**Kairu-Blackstar: **Thank you, you lovely person you! :)

**Sanzojoe: **Hope you enjoyed and aren't too stressed by the rollercoaster...!

**LilyTimbers:** Hi there - what a lovely username! :) Pleased to meet you, and thank you so much for your kind reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed Fly Away - don't worry, I always appreciate any reviews I get whether post or during. Thank you also for your kind compliments on my writing - I do hope this chapter wasn't too obvious and that you enjoyed it too. I get what you were saying about showing up in a dramatic declaration but I'd always had it written this way so here we are - I hope it didn't disappoint too much. Either way - thanks for dropping me a review and being generally lovely! :)

**Guest: **Oh dear! Two idiots together! Hope you enjoyed - and yes I agree, Richard was an underrated star!

**essa8b3: **Thank you! I hope you enjoyed it!

**Guest: **I'm glad you're not mad - I do angst for days! But eventually it has to come to an end. There's another chapter coming up don't worry :)

**Ghost:** Here you go! :)

**Guest: **Frustration alleviated! :D

**Funny-Little-Cute White Fox: **Adorable name! Thanks for the encouragement :)

**TeamLiEvansDragneel: **Aw, hi! You're so sweet. Thanks for your lovely review :D


End file.
